The Lie Tree目录
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The Uncanny Express (The Unintentional Adventures
Jaundice and Kale are back from their adventure on the high seas, and they are settling back into a quiet life in Dullsville, just the way they like it. The tea is tepid, the oatmeal is tasteless, and the socks are ripe for darning … until Aunt Shallot shows up and reveals herself to be anything but the dull relation they were expecting. Instead, she tells her nieces she is Magique, Queen of Magic, and she's on her way to a big show and in need of two willing assistants. As Magique and the Bland sisters board the Uncanny Express, they meet a cast of mystifying characters. And when Magique goes missing, it's up to Jaundice and Kale to solve the mystery—with the help of famous detective Hugo Fromage. An inventive story in the tradition of Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express, TheUnintentional Adventures of the Bland Sisters: The Uncanny Express has all the whimsy and humor that readers who are looking for an anything-but-bland adventure will love.On the Edge of Gone
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娘亲,美人已躺好
贪财顶级杀手,被上级陷害致死,来到阴间,尼玛的,生死薄上竟然没有本小姐的名字。好吧,那我委屈一点儿,还阳去吧。再次睁开眼睛,一身古装,外带一个便宜儿子,怒嚎一声:阎王,你这个坑货。不过看在宝宝可爱的份上,姐姐我就留在这个架空的王朝吧。从此之后,圣宇王朝多了一个超级贪财腹黑的绝色女子。一母一子,强强联手,行走于各大有钱人之间,坑天坑地坑银子。——◆◇————◇◆————◆◇————◇◆——女主:节操?那是很重要滴东西,可惜有节操没银子,所以,果断滴抛弃;原则?矮油,这个人家有啦,伦家奉行的原则就是…宝宝,你来说,要从小学习孝顺妈咪,帮妈咪分担。萌宝:宝宝知道,我们的原则就是,票票不是万能的滴,但是木有票票是万万不能滴,所以,有钱滴帅锅看过来,O(∩_∩)O~纳尼?你木钱,shi开>_,女主:宝宝乖,坑到滴钱要乖乖上交知道木,妈咪存钱给你娶媳妇。萌宝:妈咪的钱貌似比国库都多鸟,娶后宫三千都用不完。不过,让你出钱,介个貌似去求老天爷直接下钱雨容易些o(╯□╰)o——◆◇————◇◆————◆◇————◇◆——木事儿,坑点儿银子,反正闲着也是闲着;木事儿,玩玩帅锅,反正闲着也是闲着。某日,女主轻快的哼着这个自创小调,忽然,一排美银排排站,纳尼?干嘛,打劫吗?美人一:娘子,求调戏。女主嘴角流着晶莹液体,好吧,被诱惑了。调戏?介个伦家爱干。美人二:陌儿,求侍寝。女主幸福的冒泡泡中,介个,也可以,帅锅的要求不好拒绝。美人三、四、五:陌陌,人家也要.某女内肉满面,姐虽然强悍,也不想英年早逝啊。——◆◇————◇◆————◆◇————◇◆——萌宝:妈咪,银家的爹地是哪只?女主:介个问题好容易滴,宝宝你变笨鸟,俗话说有钱就是爹,懂木.次日,萌宝公开拍卖娘亲,价高者得,绝色娘亲洗白白送上⊙﹏⊙b——◆◇————◇◆————◆◇————◇◆——外面传言,本小姐无貌无才,尼玛的,是哪只在造谣。当这一张倾城绝色的面容展现在众人眼中时,讽刺了谁,迷惑了谁.炮灰一:不过就是个有貌无才的狐媚子,骄傲个什么劲。女主走近,仔细瞧了瞧,开口说道:哎,这位大姐,长得丑不是你的错,但是出来吓人就是你的不对了,瞧瞧,就你这个样子,不化妆,比鬼难看,一化妆.渍渍,把鬼吓瘫。——◆◇————◇◆————◆◇————◇◆——大婚晚成:律师大人惹不得
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