登陆注册
10429100000001

第1章 INTRODUCTION On Being a Queen

Some days as I putter around the house, changing diapers and folding laundry and tossing plastic horses back from whence they came into their gray felt toy bin, I'll stop and realize that I feel a little bit like I'm playing house. All these green army guys dotting the floor and the smears of yogurt on the couch stop feeling like a mess. Instead they become the very best kind of make believe. Make believe this life is mine. And then I laugh at myself because this is my life. And plenty of people would look at it and think, "yuck." Plenty of people would look at my marriage and think, "limiting." Plenty of people would look at my daily list of things I accomplish and think, "silly."

I really like being a mom. Should we go for broke here? I love being a mom. I love that feeling where it's just the two of us, and I got this—I'm in charge, and the whole day is ours. I love what being a mom brings to me as a whole. I love the way a woman looks when she's holding the hand of somebody small. She takes on this otherworldly, almost supernatural aura when she is about the business of caring for her people. A good mom is gravity, raw earth. She is Mother Nature herself.

It's not like being a mom is necessarily any great accomplishment, and it's not like my life is anything noteworthy or special. It's just the life of a mom cleaning up after a baby. You see it every day in commercials: frumpy mom in a button-up mops the floor. Frumpy mom in a button-up chooses garbage bags that keep the kitchen smelling fresh. Frumpy mom in a button-up makes decisions about the peanut butters, sacrifices herself and her former ambitions so her kids can run wild like ungrateful brats in stain-free clothing, playing soccer and drinking juice and leaving messes in their wake. It's the kind of life businesspeople in suits look down on and tsk-tsk about, all the while trying to turn a profit from it. You know, "bon-bons and soap operas and minivans." That's all this is.

But this is it. For me, this is it. Brandon goes off to work, and I don't feel jealous of his importance or his title; in fact I rather respect his sacrifice all the more, because I had that life once. I had it, and I hated it. This is it right here, for me; this is the promotion. And Huck isn't the boss, like some might think he is. I'm the boss. I'm more than the boss. Huck, that little turkey, is my kingdom, and this place, this tiny apartment on the Upper West Side, this blessed little home, this is my palace. And I will tell you something: It feels regal, the work I do in here. In here, I am a queen.

First thing in the morning when Huck pops his messy head up from the pillows and looks at me with his dream-crazed eyes (even better if he's got sheet wrinkles on his cheeks), sunlight streaming through the windows and the day ahead is ours, using funny voices while unloading the dishwasher, singing silly songs to each other about the things we need at the drugstore and remembering to buy bananas, this is fun. It's a party every day, if you want it to be.

I feel lucky, because I had to struggle for this first. This silly life of cleaning up after a baby, of sudsing down the high chair for the millionth time and counting to three for my cooing songbird over and over—I had to fight for it first. My mom always told me this would be the case, when I'd call her crying after another failed month, though I never believed her. After all, it's just menial housework and dirty diapers and negotiating the emotions of a very small person. But she'd tell me that my fight would make my baby sweeter, the late nights easier, the messes smaller. And as always (always always), my mom was right. How does that happen? How are moms always right? And it's weird to me sometimes that I find such odd satisfaction in the sweeping. Weirdly, I love sweeping. I see God in the sweeping. I see angels in the laundry. In the middle of sleepless nights, I feel heaven in my arms—heaven that could just as easily have been hell had I not had the chance to find out just how badly I wanted it.

I never thought the day would come, but it has, and I am going to write it in ink because for me this is a milestone: I am grateful for those two years I struggled to get pregnant. I am grateful for those seven years I struggled to find my purpose. I am grateful for every horrible moment of them.

Today. Folding little baby clothes that will be smeared with hummus in a matter of hours. Sweeping up the Cheerios. Hundreds of Cheerios that seem to scurry away under the couch to multiply and replenish the living room when I'm not looking. Stopping at the dinner table to run my hand along its bumpy surface and admire my place settings. A pot of soup on the stove. A fridge stocked full of Diet Coke and a freezer full of frozen chocolate. This is not a kingdom I'm embarrassed to rule over. I rule powerfully here. With grace and elegance and mercy. And sometimes false lashes.

This is a season in my life. This is my chance to be somebody's mother, to make my home my castle, and I'm so honored to do it.

This sovereignty, this kingdom, this is a gift. And this, this book you are holding, is about making the most of it. This is a book about our kingdoms. This is a book about being a queen.

同类推荐
  • Tim Gunn

    Tim Gunn

    "There seems to be no one more qualified or equipped to ponder or even, dare I say, dictate 'quality, taste, and style' than Tim." -Sarah Jessica Parker, actor/producerTelevision has introduced the world to a new fashion authority: Tim Gunn. As Bravo's style mentor and Chair of the Fashion Design Department at Parsons The New School for Design, Tim delivers advice in a frank, witty, and authoritative manner that delights wkkk.net readers can benefit from Tim's considerable fashion wisdom in Tim Gunn: A Guide to Quality, Taste & Style. He discusses every aspect of creating and maintaining your personal style: how to dress for various occasions, how to shop (from designer to chain to vintage stores), how to pick a fashion mentor, how to improve your posture, find the perfect fit, and more. He'll challenge every reader-whether a seasoned fashionista or a style neophyte-to "make it work!"
  • Caretaker

    Caretaker

    It was with this play that Harold Pinter had his first major success, and its production history since it was first performed in 1960 has established the work as a landmark in twentieth-century drama. The obsessive caretaker, Davies, whose papers are in Sidcup, is a classic comic creation, and his uneasy relationship with the enigmatic Aston and Mick established the author's individuality with an international audience.
  • Why I Fly Fish

    Why I Fly Fish

    Chris Santella, bestselling author of the Fifty Places series, is back in action with the inspirational gift book Why I Fly Fish. Based on 25 interviews with fly-fishing professionals and celebrity hobbyists alike, Why I Fly Fish encapsulates the life lessons fly-fishing aficionados have learned from their favorite pursuit. Featured contributors include Donald Trump Jr., Bill Ford (CEO of Ford Motor Company), Conway Bowman (host of several flyfishing TV programs), actor Henry Winkler, Lefty Kreh (the world's best-known fly-fisherman) and many more. With personal photographs by the contributors themselves, Why I Fly Fish is an inspirational and intimate reflection on the beloved sport and pastime.
  • Gorilla Tactics (Dr. Critchlore's School for M

    Gorilla Tactics (Dr. Critchlore's School for M

    The second book in this hilarious, illustrated series cracks the imaginative world of minions wide open, and we meet the other schools and Evil Overlords that surround Dr. Critchlore's. Runt Higgins needs answers, fast. Someone cursed him to die on his sixteenth birthday, but no one seems to know who cursed him or why. Runt decides he must find the Great Library, where all true knowledge is hidden. Unfortunately, the only people who know the location of the Great Library are a covert network of librarian-spies who'd rather die than give up the Library's secrets. And when one of Runt's professors is attacked, it soon becomes clear that others are also out to find the Library at any cost. Meanwhile, Runt's not the only one whose days are numbered. To save the floundering school from an inevitable sale, Dr. Critchlore takes some desperate measures. His master plan to save the school: a fashion show.
  • The Phantom Limb

    The Phantom Limb

    Isaac is the new kid in town. His mother, Vera, is in the hospital with a mysterious illness, and the only person left to care for Isaac is his distant grandfather. Friendless and often alone, Isaac loses himself in his collection of optical illusions, including a strange mirror box that he finds in his new house, left behind by the previous tenants. Designed for amputees, it creates the illusion of a second limb. Lonely Isaac wishes someone would reach out to him, and then someone does—a phantom limb within the mirror box! It signs to Isaac about a growing danger: someone who has murdered before and is out to get Vera next. The only way Isaac can solve the mystery and save his mother is with the help of the mirror box. But can he trust the phantom limb?
热门推荐
  • 探秘军事天地

    探秘军事天地

    无论是保卫战,还是侵略战,无论胜出或者是败落,历史都将给出一个公正的评判。那些经历战场武器,那些亲历战场的士兵,那些见证战争的旁观者,甚至是无辜的受害者都将成为军事天地里的主角。
  • 花开的声音

    花开的声音

    《花开的声音》是当代微型小说之父刘国芳的精短小说合集,刘国芳和他的经历已和中国大陆的当代微型小说发展史建立了密不可分的联系。有人认为,在中国,只要是读书的人,《花开的声音》在创作上昭示了一种微型小说的典型写法和微型小说文体目前所能达到的艺术高度和艺术成就。他对微开型小说这种文体的把握与运用已达驾轻就熟的程度,善于以小见大,平淡中见神奇;注重贴近现实,关注人生;歌颂真善美,鞭鞑假丑恶;讲究构思的精巧,追求艺术的多样,写实的、寓言的、象征的、荒诞的,摇曳多姿,是一本让人百看不厌的精品小说。
  • 孤魂银狼

    孤魂银狼

    风雨飘渺,今生难得红颜一笑……也许生命明天就会逝去,但是我们也要在生命结束前照耀出最璀璨的那一刻!神兽一族在李林王星周魂黑穹罗重李晴的带领下走到了大陆的巅峰,他们没有忘记来自远古的使命,他们没有浪费生命,他们最终绽放出了人生最璀璨的一刻!传奇而又震撼的大陆!
  • 洞穴大冒险(科学大探险)

    洞穴大冒险(科学大探险)

    乐乐淘是一个爱冒险的小男孩,在布瓜博士的帮助下,他与好朋友小猴一起进入了一个神秘的洞穴,开始了他们的秘境探幽之旅,并经历了一系列离奇精彩的故事。乐乐淘随身携带的背包可以从中取出任何想要的东西,解决在旅途中遇到的问题;而飞毯的神奇之处在于它可以根据需要变化,可以变成雪橇、潜艇、轮船等等。在这个故事中,所有的动物都是拟人化的,它们像人类一样生动、可爱。在这个幽深的洞穴中,他们看到了丰富多样的生物群和令人惊叹的洞穴景观,并通过远程链接布瓜博士,通过他们在旅行中的所见所闻,解答他们所有的疑问。
  • 明伦汇编人事典形神部

    明伦汇编人事典形神部

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 风云争霸

    风云争霸

    一剑伏敌手,一掌镇乾坤。无奈乱世谁论对错,只看岁月长河,谁为霸者。且看少年七月,百战惊天下,登顶世绝巅。
  • 重刻西方合论

    重刻西方合论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 曾国藩如何改变人生

    曾国藩如何改变人生

    本书以曾国藩的一生经历为主线,深入挖掘他在求学、当京官、镇压太平天国、晚年这四个不同时期的人生追求和理想,乃至如何显著地影响着他的人生轨迹。这对当代仍有积极的参考意义。
  • 太上老君金书内序

    太上老君金书内序

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 总裁的复仇妻

    总裁的复仇妻

    利曜南生为朱氏金控王国的母系继承人,却敌不过一名凭空冒出来的嫡系“女”继承者。他绝不容多年苦心孤诣,将已掌控过半的金控王国,如此轻而易举,拱手让与一名弱女子!在谜底未揭晓前,他将以追求者的面貌,诱惑还不知情的“她”,成为他的掌中之物……平凡如她,当真爱来临,纪欣桐第一个反应是怯步。利曜南是天之骄子,是众人眼中的明星,他们是生活在两个不同世界的两种人。但当自己的身世逐步被揭露,夺走原属于他的光芒,她逐渐看到他扭曲的内心──该怎么做才能让他明白,只要是他想要的,她愿意全都给他……