"Pick a card," the woman said, fanning them out to Kale.
"Two of hearts," said Kale, holding it up for Jaundice to see.
"Excellent," said the woman. "Now stick it back in the fan."
Kale did as she was told. The woman collapsed the fan, then shuffled the deck several times, the cards flowing from one hand to the other like water. She cut the cards, shuffled one last time, then held the deck in one hand and flipped the top card over.
"Two of hearts," said Kale. "Whoa."
"So, who are you?" Jaundice asked. The Bland Sisters had many rules for themselves, including Never Open the Door to Strangers. Getting on trains with strangers—let alone engaging in card tricks with them—was on another level entirely.
The woman removed her sunglasses, unbuttoned her long black coat, and stood up. Underneath, she wore a purple robe covered in silver lightning bolts.
"I am … MAGIQUE!" she announced with the wave of a hand.
When she took off her hat and head wrap, the Bland Sisters could see that Magique's hair was silver, too.
"Magique?" Kale said.
"I know, you're overwhelmed to be in my presence. I get that a lot," Magique said. "But you'll get used to assisting the Queen of Magic, eventually."
"I think there's been a misunderstanding," Jaundice said, finally.
"Oh? I was told there would be two young female assistants waiting for me," Magique said.
"Well, we're not them," said Jaundice.
"Then whyever did you get on the train with me?" said Magique.
"We … thought you were someone else," Kale tried to explain. "Someone who is probably at the Information Desk right now, waiting for us."
"Tickets, please!" the conductor said, poking his head in.
Magique pulled out a pile of papers from her satchel and handed them to him. The conductor stamped them one, two, three times.
"You had tickets for us?" Kale said.
"Of course," said Magique. "That was the arrangement. The two young ladies were to travel with me to the Uncanny Valley, for my big show."
"My name is Mr. Harold, should you need anything," the conductor told them, tipping his hat.
Just then, a young couple appeared outside the compartment. The woman was beautiful, with perfectly curled blond hair and green eyes and bright pink lipstick. A handsome man with dark, slicked-back hair was pulling her by the hand.
"Can I help you?" Mr. Harold asked the couple.
"Just making our way to compartment number three, old chap," said the young man. He smiled, revealing a set of pearly white, perfectly straight teeth. "I know the way."
"You know everything, darling," said the young woman, giggling as the young man led her off.
Mr. Harold sighed. "Have a nice day," he said to Magique and the Bland Sisters, then moved on to the next compartment.
"So, who made this arrangement with you?" Jaundice asked. She looked at Kale. The Bland Sisters already knew the answer.
"Your parents," Magique said, reaching into her satchel again and producing a letter from a very worn envelope, addressed with all-too-familiar handwriting. She showed it to Jaundice and Kale. It said:
Dearest Magique,
We hear you're looking for a new assistant. Might we suggest two—our daughters, Jaundice and Kale? They're very smart and resourceful, and while they don't have experience with magic, they are well versed in the art of escape, having just eluded kidnapping by pirates. They should be at the Dullsville Train Station just before your noon train, waiting to meet you.
Yours from hither and yon,
The Blands
"'Kidnapping by pirates'? That's quite a résumé at your age," noted Magique.
"Well, that's true," said Jaundice.
"Why did they tell us her name was Aunt Shallot when her name is Magique?" Kale whispered to her sister.
"They tricked us with the whole Aunt Shallot story to get us on this train," Jaundice explained. "Our parents are trying to make us have another adventure."
"Don't they remember how they almost got us killed with the last adventure, with the pirates?" Kale wondered.
"We're not interested in being magician's assistants," Jaundice informed the magician. "We're getting off at the next stop. When is the next stop, anyway?"
"Well, this is the Uncanny Express, after all," Magique said. "The next stop will be the Uncanny Valley. Is there nothing I can do to convince you two to stay on? I have a big performance planned, and I'll need all the help I can get to pull it off."
"We run our own business, back at home," Jaundice explained. "So we're needed there right away."
"When the socks pile up, things can get messy," Kale added.
"That is a shame," Magique said, shaking her head. "Well, let's at least enjoy ourselves while we're all here together, shall we? Why don't we have lunch in the dining car, and I can fill you in on my show. If you're lucky, you might even learn about the big surprise I have planned. In a few hours, we'll arrive at the Uncanny Valley station, and I can send you both back to Dullsville."
"Lunch does sound good," Kale said, nudging her sister. After they'd spent some time without food on the pirate ship, the Bland Sisters learned to eat whenever they could.
"As long as they have cheese sandwiches," said Jaundice.
