登陆注册
10444700000007

第7章

"PLEASE."

"Denise—" Els starts.

"It's all right," Michelle says. "Sit."

I didn't really look at Michelle properly before: she's got curly hair that's even longer than Iris's, and a long, stretched face that's tanned from either genetics or the sun. I pull out the empty chair. It scrapes over the floor loud enough to make me wince. It's a little bistro thing, and sitting down makes me feel twice as large as I am. I'm not that big—between strength and endurance training and the scarce food these past months, I've even slimmed down—but I've got broad hips and the chair isn't suited to that. The table matches the chair: small, good for two coffees, a plate of cookies, and little else.

"I know," Michelle says when she sees me looking. "Every dining hall has a theme. This one must be 'fit for second-graders.'" She pushes her plate my way. She's cut her sandwiches into triangles, like at a restaurant, rather than the fold-'em-double approach I take at home. "Have one."

"I'm not supposed to."

"I know. I'm giving you mine."

Brown flecks peek out from between two slices of bread. "Sprinkles?" I ask.

"Too Dutch for you?"

"No," I say, unsure if she's being racist or self-deprecating. "I don't like sprinkles." All those individual bits in my mouth, crunching and getting stuck in my teeth—the thought makes me shudder.

Dad really did think sprinkles were too Dutch. He'd grown up eating them for breakfast just like half the country, but he'd still make jokes about the four different kinds Mom always kept in the pantry.

Then he stopped making jokes, and he left with a kiss to our heads and a promise he'd be back.

"Suit yourself." Michelle takes a bite, leaning over her plate to catch falling sprinkles, even though they all bounce off anyway. "I'm on the team in charge of the manifest. I know the ship looks empty. Els explained part of it, but there's also the psychological aspect. We need space." She waves one finger in a circle. "We're all used to open sky and open space and going in straight lines; if the ship were too full, we'd be claustrophobic in a matter of weeks. Our children won't know anything else, though. Goldfish, size, bowl, et cetera."

"We're one family. A small family." I almost said two people and feel acutely guilty. Iris is still out there. I'm not abandoning her. I only want to make sure that when the lockdown ends and we go find her, we'll have a place for the three of us to return to. I shift in my chair and freeze when it scrapes over the floor again.

"There are a lot of small families out there," Michelle says. "And a lot of passengers who want to bring relatives on board. We keep a waiting list, actually, of people with necessary skills, or existing passengers' brothers or sisters or lifelong friends. You and your mother aren't on that list."

"You're going to kick us out."

"Please don't guilt-trip me."

"The captain already bent the rules by allowing you on board temporarily," Els adds.

"I was only stating a fact."

Michelle runs a hand through her hair. "This is why we keep our mouths shut about the ship. This is why we waste resources on energy-draining cloaking tech—so no one sees our lights from kilometers away. If people find out we're here, we'd only have to crush their hopes."

"We won't tell," I say, though I doubt it'll make a difference. "Captain Van Zand said he couldn't just bring anyone on board. 'Just anyone.' That means you can bring some people on board. Doesn't it?"

I can't read an answer on Michelle's face. She tents her fingers. "What does your mother do for work?"

I skip the part-time jobs she's worked and promptly lost the past few years. "She was an office manager at a big law firm for fourteen years. Janssen & Der Duin."

"Was?"

"She left." It's not a lie—she did leave. It just wasn't willingly.

"Why?" Michelle's gaze pins me into place. All this scrutiny makes me so aware of my own edges. My legs tight against each other, my hips too wide for the chair, my hands clenched in my lap.

I choose my words with care, simultaneously honest and darting around the truth like a circus act. "When I was nine, my father's parents fell ill and he returned to Suriname to look after them. He didn't come back. My mother had a hard time with that. She left work. But she's better lately."

I don't say that "better" means little, given how bad she's been. I don't say that Mom had been struggling before Dad left for Paramaribo, or that I wonder if that's the reason Dad broke his promise to return.

And I don't say cocaine and Ecstasy and ketamine.

"What about you? You go to school?"

"Not since the announcement."

"That's fair. But you understand that …"

"Look, I—I'm smart," I blurt out, which feels like my first true lie. Els must be hiding her laughter. If the doctors who once diagnosed me as intellectually disabled could hear me, they would, too. "I have a good memory. I thought I might—I might try to become a vet. I volunteered at an animal shelter."

"The only animals on board are insects and fish."

"I know! I'm not stupid." I press my fists into my thighs. "I just mean that being a vet is hard, but I wanted to do it. I don't know if I'd have succeeded"—shit, I shouldn't have said that—"but I wanted to try. Doesn't that count for something?"

Michelle sighs. "I'll take a look at the numbers, but we're already at our maximum …"

"I don't want to go out there!" When did I start shouting? My fists are pushing into my lap so hard that my shoulders point up. "I can't! I can't!"

"I said, I'll look at the numbers."

"We'll do any work you want us to. You'll need people for the crops, right? Or in processing? If this is about supplies, you can have everything we have. It's not much, but we can pay. Anything in our home, food, or drugs—"

"Excuse me?"

"Anything! We can be useful, I swear, we—"

Fingers wrap around my biceps. "Denise!"

I jerk away. The force sends my tiny chair tumbling onto its side, and me with it. I slam to the floor. Pain shoots from my shoulder to my fingers.

Els stands over me, one hand to her mouth. She must've been the one who grabbed me. I hadn't even seen her stand.

"You OK?" Michelle asks.

Now she cares? I nod, my breathing choppy and my mind too scattered to find the right words.

"Good. We're done talking."

同类推荐
  • Steering Toward Normal
  • Fuzzy
  • Death in a Strange Country

    Death in a Strange Country

    Early one morning Commissario Guido Brunetti of the Venice Police confronts a grisly sight when the body of a young man is fished out of a fetid canal. All the clues point to a violent mugging, but for Brunetti the motive of robbery seems altogether too convenient. When something is discovered in the victim's apartment that suggests the existence of a high-level conspiracy, Brunetti becomes convinced that somebody, somewhere, is taking great pains to provide a ready-made solution to the wkkk.net with atmosphere and marvelous plotting, Death in a Strange Country is a superb novel in Donna Leon's chilling Venetian mystery series.
  • The Unusual Suspects (Sisters Grimm #2)
  • Moonshot!

    Moonshot!

    "The future belongs to those who see the possibilities before they become obvious… This is the most exciting time ever to be part of the business world."Throughout history, there are some events that stand out as so groundbreaking that they completely change life as we know it. The Apollo moon landing of 1961 was one of those events—the invention of the Apple personal computer was another. In this book, John Sculley—former CEO of both Pepsi and Apple—claims we are in an era that is giving birth to numerous groundbreaking events and inventions—moonshots—that will change the way we live and work for generations to come.
热门推荐
  • 杜工部诗年谱

    杜工部诗年谱

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 给年轻人的寓言

    给年轻人的寓言

    《给年轻人的寓言》是编者从古今中外、浩如烟海的寓言海洋中,精心撷取的几朵美丽的浪花,希望对年轻人能产生智慧的启迪。《给年轻人的寓言》在编写过程中,并没有满足于仅仅作简单的汇总工作,而是尽量以一个年轻人的身份和视角对寓言进行了解读。对内涵相当丰富的寓言进行解读,可以说“仁者见仁,智者见智”,有一万个人就有一万种不同的理解。因此,希望各位青年读者能在阅读的同时充分动用自己的思考,让自己在欣赏寓言的同时,充分领略生活的真谛。
  • 惊天绑架案

    惊天绑架案

    安徽省最北部的梨乡县城。一处新开发的小区豪宅前。外墙上已装上了四台空调,第五台正在安装中。一名空调安装工站在竹梯上,用冲击钻在往墙上打眼。他西装革履,身高一米七五左右,三十多岁,外表英俊。在小区的道路上,他边走边打量小区内的住户,目光果然落在了这栋最豪华的三层上。他径直奔三层豪宅走了过去,站在附近看了一会儿空调安装工人施工,然后在冲击钻不响时,走过去故意问那名工人:“这是不是什么单位的办公室?”
  • 超神学院之魔方

    超神学院之魔方

    本书原名为爱而神,一切从天上那个大菊花开始,记忆里的《超神学院》就是一部搞笑诙谐的动漫,为什么一出场就是外星人入侵,主角弱鸡,不解释,为什么改名,因为本书三十几万字了也没有女主角,作者新人,写得不好,且非常小心眼加任性,经常擅自更改大纲,而且写小说是兼职,除了保证不太监之外,想要加更是不可能的。
  • 虐爱:历少的逃跑小娇妻

    虐爱:历少的逃跑小娇妻

    她爱他,不顾一切去爱他,可爱变成一把杀人的匕首,深深的刺入她的心脏。我曾再风中等你,你又在哪逍遥?
  • 绝爱烙印之丑女新生活

    绝爱烙印之丑女新生活

    【動情篇】不幸看见好友与男友上演的春宫图,气愤的手起刀落想要跺了这对狗男女。不曾想,阴差阳错丢掉自己的小命儿。呜呼哀哉!穿越了?穿越就穿越吧!就当是人生的新路经验。可,可……穿越不都是美事儿一桩吗?别人穿越就是王后,美女的,到了她这儿就……穿越前已经是丑女一个了,穿越之后竟然丑上加丑,还成了她最讨厌的肥妞儿。天啊!為什麽,為什麽,雪上加霜,她的名字竟叫,柳希雪!那個背叛者的名字。无奈之际,只能对着天空大叫一声:“我要改名字。”虾米!发现新大陆。这肥妞儿有一个帅到不像话的,未!婚!夫!……………………“疼吗?”帅哥未婚夫轻轻的为她上药,害她只能拍拍脑门,让自己赶快清醒。“下次不许再这样啦,来乖乖的……”为了减肥,饿了四天四夜,晕到,醒来后帅哥竟然会疼惜的生气啦。“宝贝,睡吧!有我在这里。”面对他突然的温柔,深情,她迷失的心好像又找到了方向,丢弃的心竟沉轮在他纲织好的陷进里,殊不知他温柔的背后竟有一张她从不知晓的面孔。恶梦从她嫁他的那天起……如影随行。直到最后的最后,真想终于浮出水面,一場不是意外的意外……她,對他來說。是棋子,是工具,即使这样,她还是愿意陪在他的身边,哪怕他一次次狠心的将她推开。只到她的心再也负荷不起椎心的痛。一点儿也不重要,不重要,面对她的离去,他只能一遍一遍的重复与强调。那为什么,看着她流着泪的眼,竟让他怀疑自己,竟让他开始愤恨自己。长发为君留,短发为君剪。白发为君变,青丝变情丝。从此岁月里与他相伴的只有她留下的这首诗。男儿有泪不轻谈,只是未到伤心处,终于流下一滴悔恨的泪,无奈的闭上眼。【情殲篇】他,左沐晟,天下第一庄庄主,温温而雅,透泽明亮的黑眸里透露着一份神秘,一份心痛,一份柔情……还有寂寞。终日浮现着她留下的那抹伤心的背影。一丝白发轻轻飘过……他环住她的腰身,苦苦的哀求道:“为什么,不……相信我是真心的。”只见她,淡淡的一笑,推开他,走向另一邊。花谷雨的妙公子,江湖人称鬼医的风月霆,英俊非凡,一双勾魂的眼眸迷到无数少女的心,自认风流,对不美的事物从不感兴趣,却没想到最后的他竟会爱上一介丑女,就算她满头白发,也是情有独钟,明明知道她心有所属,依旧不肯松开,为她情愿与魔鬼交易,咬牙切齿威胁:“为了你,我可以毁了他,毁了所有……”
  • 鸦片战争

    鸦片战争

    1840-1842年的鸦片战争,是封建的中国变为半殖民地半封建的中国的转折点。18世纪70年代,英国开始把鸦片大量输入中国。1839年6月3日至25日,林则徐将缴获的237万多斤烟土在虎门海滩当众销毁。英国政府很快做出向中国出兵的决定。1840年6月28日,第一次鸦片战争正式爆发。鸦片战争标志着中国近代史的开端,从此,中国人民面临着更为复杂曲折的斗争。《中国文化知识读本:鸦片战争》以优美生动的文字、简明通俗的语言、图文并茂的形式,介绍了鸦片战争的有关内容。
  • 朱自清大全集(超值金版)

    朱自清大全集(超值金版)

    本着优中选精的原则,斟酌再三,将朱自清最脍炙人口的散文、游记、杂论、诗歌、文艺批评、学术研究等作品精选出来,集结成《朱自清大全集》,鉴于朱自清的散文成就最大,本书的遴选也比较侧重于其散文作品。
  • 凤还凰:佳本盛装

    凤还凰:佳本盛装

    秦淮很郁闷!上辈子鸡飞狗跳的宅斗逼得她只能假作男儿身。上戏园子看一眼心上人,硬生生是成了断袖!皇帝老儿一道圣旨,她还得变身谦谦驸马……公主粘着她,一个不高兴就告白,秦淮秦淮,本宫爱你到死!行行行!你爱你的,我爱我的。好不容易穿个女装见一回心上人,居然还要先扮一回公主的假想情敌!罢了!本小姐不玩了……戏园子门口,秦淮搭了三尺高台,对着里面一阵高喊,“沈云英,你到底要不要娶我!”--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 当皇帝

    当皇帝

    姜宝是一个喜欢看穿越小说的宅男,除了吃饭睡觉工作之外,就是各种穿各种看,总是幻想也是一个穿越者,统治世界争霸天下,一场流星雨让他的穿越之旅成为了现实,高兴吧,狂欢吧……