"Get That Thing Out of Here!" "What Did I Just Step In?" and "We're Going to Need a Bigger Net."
—OTHER SPECIAL PROGRAMS AT DR. CRITCHLORE'S SCHOOL
My last class of the day was Introduction to Sabotage. The teacher based his entire lecture on what Syke had done before leaving. He covered the blackboard with complicated diagrams of the stables, the grandstands, Dr. Critchlore's office, and the Wall of Heroes. He gazed at his work, shook his head, and muttered, "Four attack zones ... perfectly timed execution ... clean getaway. How'd she do it?"
Everyone looked at me, but I had no idea.
Once class was over, the moment I'd been dreading arrived. I had to go to the swamp.
Mistress Moira had sent a letter with detailed instructions on how to get rid of the tether curse that had left wide red bands on my wrists. The Tether Curse Removal Procedure had to be done during the right phase of the moon, and she wasn't going to be back in time to help me. It didn't look difficult, but everything had to be done EXACTLY RIGHT (her caps).
First, I had to collect some swamp mud.
I didn't want to go alone, but Frankie was busy with Dr. Frankenhammer and Darthin wouldn't go near the swamp because he was scared of swamp monsters, two-headed swamp cats, and Kevin. I didn't want to ask Boris or Eloni to skip hoopsmash practice because we had a game coming up at the Pravus Academy.
As I left class, I fell in step beside Meztli.
"Meztli, has anyone showed you the swamp?" I asked. I knew it was lame to lure him into coming with me, but Meztli was a were-jaguar. He could come in handy in a pinch.
"No, but we have muchas swamps in my country," he said. "I don't like them."
"Me, neither, but I have to get some mud." I lifted the bucket I'd left outside of class.
"You need amigo?" he asked. "I go with you."
"Really? Thanks!"
"No problem. On the way you can tell me about Minion Games. They're starting tomorrow, and I don't know what they are."
"Deal."
We took off, heading through the Memorial Garden. It was a nice afternoon, with a partly cloudy sky and no wind. Meztli climbed up onto the Wall of Heroes and walked along the top until someone told him to get off. He jumped down with the grace and agility of a cat—naturally.
"Do you always do stuff like that?" I asked.
"Like what?"
"I don't know, just do whatever you feel like doing? As long as someone doesn't tell you not to."
He shrugged. "How else do you learn the rules?"
I pointed to the sign that read, DO NOT CLIMB ON THE WALL OF HEROES.
"In my country, there are so many rules. Everywhere you go, signs saying 'Don't do this,' 'Don't do that.' But most of them don't mean anything. In one park, there's a sign that says, 'Do not climb the árboles.'"
"You don't climb trees?"
"Sure, we climb trees. You see a tree—how do you not climb it? Some rules, nobody is going to do anything if you break them."
"That's so confusing."
"We know which rules are important: do not steal, do not hurt others, do not eat the chili peppers growing on Telva hill. And we know which are not important: do not wear sandals in winter. Here, I don't know. So I have to figure it out."
"I just follow all the rules," I said.
"Yes, I can tell that about you."
Once through the Memorial Garden we took the route that cut past the cemetery and continued next to the necromancer's building. Along the way, I filled Mez in on the Minion Games.
"The teachers separate us into five teams," I said. "Over the course of the week we compete in different challenges, getting points for each win. The challenges change each year, which makes it fun. Nobody knows what to expect. It could be a physical game, or a treasure hunt, or something else. Last year, one of the events was a timed siege. The team that was able to breach the practice siege wall fastest won.
"Each team has at least one of each type of minion, because you never know what the challenge is going to be. Your team might need a flying minion, or one that can breathe underwater, for instance. There are also nonphysical events, like the Quiz Bowl, the Dissection Trials, and the Team Spirit competition."
"Is that to see who cheers the loudest?"
"No, it's a competition for ghosts. At the end of the week, we have a float parade and everyone dresses up to match their theme, and then the winning team is announced. The winners get a great prize too. Last year it was a free day off, spent at the Evil Overlord Adventure Amusement Park in Stull City."
We reached the edge of the lake and walked to where the marshlands spread out in a swampy, goopy mess that smelled like rotting wood and algae and death.
"Hey, Kevin," I said to the corpse-like alligator man bathing in the shallows.
"Hello, Runt," he said before slipping underneath the water. Kevin is shy.
We worked our way through dangling tree branches and slippery soil until we reached a small clearing. I put out an arm to stop Meztli.
"There's a swamp monster in there," I said. "Maybe more than one. They don't move too fast out of water, but they're really quiet, so they can sneak up on you."
"Like the cocodrilos," he said, nodding.
"Also, we're supposed to be on the lookout for some small trees with gray-green needles, about as tall as me."
"Like that?" Meztli said. He pointed to the edge of the water where, in a cluster of trees, one of the little buggers was splashing around. "That's not normal."
"It's an enchanted weeping blue atlas cedar," I said. "I'm going to see if I can reason with it."
I edged closer, not wanting to startle it. I used my softest voice, "Hey there, cedar, whatcha doing?"
It stopped moving and turned to me, limbs hanging limply. It looked like a gray-green mummy, only pricklier, because of the needles. But the shape of the tree was very mummy-like—round head, drooping branch arms, two thick trunk-legs.
"Wanna come see Tootles with me?" I said. "He's got a nice spot picked out for you."
The tree screeched, "Nooooo!" and then splashed water at me.
I wiped the water off my face. "Tree, you come with me right now!" I said, hoping my forceful tone would get it to cooperate.
"NOOOOOOOO!" it said, and then it ran off, pretty quickly for a tree, its branches waving above its head like a crazy person.
Meztli laughed. "That tree sounded like my little brother. He's three and so stubborn. Always 'no' this, 'no' that."
This was a disaster. How was I going to round up six stubborn little toddler trees when I couldn't go any farther into the swamp? Maybe I could tell Tootles that I'd spotted one, and he could send someone else to come get it.
I scooped up my bucket of mud, and Mez and I walked back to see if the Minion Games teams had been posted. As we walked, I asked him about his home, Galarza.
"Very dry in the winter. Hot and rainy in summer. We grow sugar canes on my farm. Many times the hill monsters come and eat what we grow, but we always manage to save some of the crop. When the winds come from Skelterdam, we have to stay inside. Very hot winds, full of the poisons.
"Is a difficult life," he said, beginning to tear up. "I miss it so much."
A huge crowd was huddled near the posting wall, where important announcements like dorm assignments and club sign-ups were posted. Most everyone had already found their names on the list and were busy comparing team strengths and weaknesses. There were five lists, each titled with a color. We'd arrived late, so we didn't have to push our way to the front. There were only a few kids ahead of us.
"I'm Red," Meztli said. "You?"
"Blue," I said, scanning the list to see who else was on my team. My happiness deflated like a leaky balloon when I saw Rufus's name. I knew from experience that it was no fun being on his team, especially if you weren't a monster.
Back in my room, I sat on my bed. Things weren't looking so great—I was failing my junior henchman class, I hadn't been able to snag the toddler tree, I had no minions to lead, and Janet was leaving school for a while. I pulled out my Good List and a pencil and tried to find a bright spot in all that stuff.
I wrote, "I made a new friend—Meztli."
And then I braced myself for the work ahead, because tonight there was going to be a full moon.
