Research suggests we are all chasing everlasting happiness. All individuals are wired pretty much the same way, and it seems our ultimate goal is to be full of joy and contentment. We're all asking ourselves, what is it that shapes my emotional well-being? What is it that rings my bell? What makes my heart beat faster? What is it that gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling called Happiness? I would imagine for the vast majority of people, "money" is the answer to those questions; however, when looking at the research of people who have won the lottery or who are extremely wealthy, it seems all that money brought them nothing but misery.
How about good health? Many people are the epitome of healthy, yet they don't seem to be happy. What about having job security? I can list pages full of folks who have jobs other people would kill for, and still, they aren't content. The perfect family? I can't even talk about the people who have screwed up their families as a result of searching for that "outside interest" they thought would bring them happiness. So having the perfect family did not keep them on the road to endless happiness either.
Then what is the answer to this question of what would make us happy?
I saw a T-shirt the other day that read "other people matter." How right that is—other people matter a great deal! If we realize this and nothing more than this, it could lead us to a lifetime of happiness. My family has been on a very God-driven journey the past several years, and we have found the fulfillment that comes from thinking of someone else as opposed to putting self first. Gee, doesn't that sound rather Biblical! (It is my belief that the good book will never steer you in the wrong direction.) So if you're still trying to find happiness by chasing money, the fountain of youth, entertainment, and countless other things, why not try this new approach of making other people matter. Instead of buying something for yourself, get something for a friend. When pumping gas and the person next to you puts a mere five bucks in a tank and you have the ability to help… fill their tank up. I can assure you it will bring you immediate happiness.
You might be thinking, "Well, that will only make me happy for a brief moment." But once you make your initial move and feel the results, you will be apt to do it a second time and then you say, "Well, I think I will try that again." Then once becomes twice, and twice becomes three times, and you're off to the races. You might even look in the mirror and ask, "Who is that person I am looking at with the big smile on her face?" Each journey starts with a small step. That one act could change the baseline of happiness in your life.
Here's a few more pointers for happiness: spend more time with your family, smile on a regular basis, attend church, get involved in more social activities, (even if it is going to the movie or walking a neighbor's dog), or volunteer at your local library one day a week. We all make choices each and every day. Think about how your choices will affect other people. Will your choice bring happiness to yourself or to someone else?
I speak to charitable organizations almost every week. Last week I had two speaking engagements in two different cities. There were several thousand people at one event and approximately eight hundred people at the smaller one. During the question and answer session after I spoke, I was asked at both events, "How has all this impacted your life?" My answer to that is: my family and I have learned that giving to others has made us happier than we ever imagined.
I am reminded of an experiment in which participants were given $20.00 and told to either use it for themselves or give it away. At the end of the day, the people who gave it away tested happier than the ones who kept the money. Why not try that little experiment for yourself this week: Start small with five bucks. Dedicate that five dollars to someone with a need; dedicate even more money if you can swing it. The next day spend the same amount on yourself. I would be willing to bet at the end of day, reliving the memory of your gifting the money to someone else will, in itself, give you happiness.
Charitable giving in my experience results in a good feeling. More than the joy it brings, it gives one a sense of a life worth living. It is also a good reminder of just how fortunate we are. While we may not always have everything we want, there are always others who have much less. It's a great way to take stock of our blessings.
We strive to be happy just like we strive for everything else. If you are not experiencing life in a way that brings pleasure to others, then you are missing opportunities for happiness with each passing minute. My hope for each and every one of us is that when our feet hit the floor each morning, we make a commitment to provide happiness to someone else. I hope you will use your resources wisely, not to impress people, but to provide happiness to those less fortunate. This, in turn, provides happiness to you. By giving to others, you also develop a sense of self-worth which can lead to a much more caring and connected life. You will no longer chase after something "out there" you think might provide you happiness. You'll discover happiness comes from within.
