A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
成功的人是能够拿别人扔过来的砖头为自己垒砌坚强地基的人。
Maintaining a Positive Approach to Daily Life 保持积极的生活态度
Keith Barrett
It's sometimes all too easy to feel like life isn't going as well as it should be. Minor niggles can develop into more significant① issues, causing you to spend more time thinking about what's going wrong. The truth is, however, that you might feel better if you take a more positive attitude.
This could, of course, be said to be easy in theory. But the reality may be substantially different, causing you to question whether you can achieve the happiness that you seek. It's not a simple process to escape from a cycle of negativity② and this is something that may concern you. How can you make the changes that are necessary in order to allow you to think in a different way?
It's sometimes necessary to take steps that may seem to be rather strange. You might start, as an example, by making a list of all the great things that you have in your life. Such a list might include absolutely everything, from loved ones to ice cream that can currently be found within your freezer at home!
As I said, this may seem like a rather odd thing to do. So why is it something that you would even consider? The answer is that you should look to avoid the danger of assuming that all is going wrong in life. It may well be the case that improvements can be made, but it's unlikely that things are as bad as they first appear.
Once you start making the list, you'll discover that it's hard to stop a smile from forming on your lips. You'll consider great things in life and many of the reasons why you actually enjoy the daily routine. You'll certainly see that there's a lot to be happy about. This is a list that you should keep safe too.
You might, for instance, want to pin it on a message board. Alternatively③, it could be attached to your fridge. Ideally, you'll want to place it somewhere that it can be seen every single day. Every time you look at the list, you'll be reminded of the fantastic elements of your life.
This focus on positive issues is likely to become more and more important to you. A number of scientific studies have discovered that people who believe that they are lucky will tend to get more positive results in life. In a sense, they will actually become lucky as a result. The same can be true when it comes to happiness.
If you assume that you have a lot to be happy about, then it's likely that more and more situations will make you smile. What you'll discover is that you actually have a lot to smile about and to be thankful for.
Living life in a positive way can be hugely rewarding. It's something that you may want to try!
有时候很容易觉得生活本不应该是这个样子。鸡毛蒜皮的小事会演变成更重要的大事，导致你要花更多的时间思考到底哪里出错了。然而，事实是，如果你能有更积极的态度，你也许会感觉好得多。
当然，这在理论上说得容易，但事实可能会很困难，导致你怀疑自己是否能寻找到你所追求的幸福。逃离消极循环的怪圈并不是个简单的过程，这要取决于你自己。要如何做一些必要的改变，来使自己用不同的方式思考呢？
有时你得采取一些必要措施，而这些措施可能看起来相当怪异。譬如，你可以从列单子开始做起，记下生命中你所拥有的所有重要的东西。这张单子也许包含了所有的东西，从你爱的人，到现在能在家里的冰箱中找到的冰淇淋。
正如我说的，这看起来也许相当怪异。然而，你为什么要考虑做这种事情呢？答案就是，假设你生命中的一切都不如意，你也应该注意避免危害。你很可能还可以做些改进，但是事情不见得会像它们当初那么糟糕。
一旦开始列这种表单，你会发现，你嘴角的微笑就很难收起来了。你会考虑你生命中重要的东西，考虑你享受日常生活的很多理由。你一定会发现很多值得开心的事。这也是一份你应该好好保管的单子。
譬如，或许你想把它钉在留言板上，又或者把它贴在冰箱上。但理想的是，你应该把它放在每天你都能看得到的地方。每当你看见这张单子，它就会提醒你生活中的那些美好。
对你来说，关注积极的事物可能变得越来越重要。许多科学研究已经发现，那些相信自己幸运的人，在生活中更可能获得更多积极的结果。在某种意义上说，他们会因此变得幸运。同样，幸福快乐也会成真。
如果你认为有很多值得开心的事，那么很可能会有越来越多令你开心的情况出现。事实上，你会发现你有很多值得开心和感激的事物。
积极的生活方式会带来巨大的收获。你值得一试！
注释
① significant a. 重大的；有效的；有意义的；值得注意的
② negativity n. 否定性；消极性
③ alternatively ad. 非此即彼；二者选一地；作为一种选择
Success Comes to Those Who Don't Know How to Quit 成功留给不轻言放弃的人
Genyfer Spark
Do you remember the last time you saw an advert, book or movie for Harry Potter, watched or purchased an item from Disney, or switched① your lights on? It's amazing how we enjoy these things, and so many other things on a daily basis, and yet they all started with a dream. A dream a person had for their life, and refused to give up on the dream, until their dream was fully realized.
If you have ever felt or feel like giving up, these three real life examples demonstrate the power one has in realizing their dreams, when they don't give up on them.
Thomas Edison, Inventor: Invented the phonograph②, motion picture camera, and the electric light bulb. Edison was quoted as saying it would take a matter of a few weeks to invent the light bulb. In reality, it would take him almost two years of 6,000 failed attempts, in his experiments of the different carbonized plant fibers, looking for a carbon filament for his light bulb. During one of his experiments, Edison's laboratory was destroyed by an explosion. It was at this time we would think it would be all over for Edison, as he did not have the capital to build a new laboratory③. It was his dear friend Henry Ford who heard about the explosion, who believed if anyone was going to find the answer it would be Edison. It was this faith, Ford had in Edison, he would loan Edison the money to build a new laboratory. Shortly, thereafter Edison would invent an entire lighting system rather than just a single light bulb.
Edison succeeded where others had failed. Edison chose to look at the big picture and created a lighting system including wiring, plugs, and connectors, to operate more than one light bulb at once. Thomas Edison's achievements include holding a world record of 1,093 patents for inventions.
His most famous quote: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Walt Disney, Disneyland: Walt Disney was raised on a farm near Marceline, Missouri; he became interested in drawing at only six years of age, selling his first sketches to neighbors when he was only seven years old. At 16 Disney was sent to France to drive an ambulance for Red Cross, the ambulance was covered stem to stern in Disney cartoons. It was at the age of 21, Walt had started to create "The Alice Comedies", half way through the production, he ran out of money, and went bankrupt. Walt had discussed his financial problems with his brother Roy, who suggested they pool all their resources together; in the process of pooling all their resources together, they obtained a loan for $500 to set up shop in their uncle's garage. Shortly after they received an order from New York and expanded. Walt's life-long dream was to create the "Happiest Place on Earth" which we now know as Disneyland. He had drawn up plans for his huge Disneyland fun park, and was turned down 302 times before he got financing for his dream: Disneyland. Today, due to his persistence, millions of people have shared in "the joy of Disney".
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Joanne Rowling was born and raised in England, Rowling started writing fantasy stories when she was 6 years old. Her first story, Rabbit, was filled with interesting characters such as a large bee called Miss Bee. Eventually, she graduated from school to become a bilingual secretary due her parents persisting she would make a great secretary.However, Rowling while working as a secretary found it difficult to remain attentive, and often would write ideas for stories, rather than taking company notes.
A few years later Rowling would marry and have a daughter. Unfortunately, her marriage ended in a sad divorce, where Rowling found herself unemployed and collecting welfare to survive. This caused Rowling to feel a great sense of failure and unworthiness, as a result she admits to suffering from major depression, to the point she even contemplated suicide. The only reason she did not commit suicide was due to her daughter, as she asked herself, "who will take care of her and how will this impact the rest of her life." What's amazing is Rowling in suffering such an array of difficult circumstances was able to somehow find the strength within, to go back to her childhood dream, and that was to write the Harry Potter story. In writing her first manuscript she would often go to the cafes to write, as the cafes kept her and her daughter warm during England's cold winter months. Rowling in completing her first manuscript had submitted her manuscript to a number of publishers. Her manuscript was turned down by many, who told her it would never sell due to a lack of demand for such a book. Despite, these rejections, Rowling refused to give up, she kept sending out her manuscript, and it was a smaller publishing house based in London that agreed to publish the first Harry Potter book.
Her writings in the summer of 2000, had reportedly earned over $400 million for her first three Harry Potter books, which have been printed in 35 languages and sold over 30 million copies. She is now known as the most successful writer in the world with the most sales, in the shortest amount of time.
Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.
你还记得你上次看《哈利·波特》的广告、书籍或电影，看到或买下迪士尼商品，打开电灯是什么时候吗？真是令人惊讶，我们会这么喜欢这些事，喜欢其他很多每天都会发生的事，然而，这一切都始于一个梦想。一个人为了生活而追求的梦想，一个不愿放弃直到实现的梦想。
如果你曾经想过或现在想要放弃，那么以下三个真实的生活事例将会向你展示：当人们在实现梦想的过程中时不言放弃，他们将会拥有多大的能量。
托马斯·爱迪生，伟大的发明家。他发明了留声机、电影摄影机和电灯泡。爱迪生原本以为只要花几个星期就可以发明出电灯泡，但事实上，这花了他将近两年的时间。在对不同的碳化植物纤维进行试验，为电灯泡寻找碳灯丝的过程中，他经历了6,000次的失败。在一次实验中，爱迪生的实验室被炸毁了。此时我们本以为一切都结束了，因为他没有资金新建一间实验室。爱迪生的好朋友亨利·福特听说了这次爆炸。他相信，如果有人找得到这个答案，那么这个人一定是爱迪生。这是福特对爱迪生的信念。他借钱给爱迪生新建实验室。不久之后，爱迪生不只是发明了电灯泡，还发明了整个照明系统。
爱迪生在别人失败的地方成功了。爱迪生看着大图纸，决定建立一个包含线路、插头和连接器的照明系统，这样多个电灯泡就可以同时工作。托马斯·爱迪生的成就包括拥有1,093项发明专利的世界纪录。
他有一句至理名言：“我并未失败。我只是发现了一万种行不通的办法。”
华特·迪士尼，迪士尼乐园的创建者。华特·迪士尼是在密苏里马赛林附近的农场长大的。在他才6岁的时候，他就开始对画画感兴趣。7岁时，他把自己的第一幅素描卖给了他的邻居。16岁时，他被送到法国为红十字会开救护车，那辆救护车整个车身都画着迪士尼的卡通画。21岁时，华特开始创作《爱丽丝在卡通国》，但是，创作进行一半的时候，他用光了钱，破产了。华特和他的哥哥罗伊一起商讨他的资金问题，罗伊建议把他们俩的所有资金合并在一起。在合并资金的同时，他们用得到的500美金贷款在叔叔的车库开了家店。不久后，他们就接到了来自纽约的订单，公司也进行了扩张。华特一生的梦想就是创建“地球上最快乐的地方”，也就是我们现在知道的迪士尼乐园。他为庞大的迪士尼游乐园草拟了很多计划，但在为他的梦想筹集到资金前，他被拒绝了302次。今天，幸亏他从未放弃的坚持，才使得数百万人得以分享“迪士尼的快乐”。
J.K.罗琳，《哈利·波特》的作者，在英国出生长大。6岁时，她就开始写虚幻故事。她的处女作《兔子》中充满了各种有趣的角色，比如有只叫Miss Bee的大蜜蜂。最终，她从学校毕业后成为了一名双语秘书，因为她的父母坚持认为她可以做很棒的文书。然而，在任秘书工作期间，罗琳发现自己很难集中注意力，她经常创作故事，而不是记公司笔记。
几年后，罗琳结了婚，有了女儿。不幸的是，她的婚姻以悲剧的离婚收场。那时，处于失业状态的罗琳靠救济金生活。这使得罗琳感到极大的失败感和无价值感，结果陷入了极度的沮丧抑郁之中，她甚至一度想过自杀。让她放弃这一念头的唯一原因，就是她的女儿。因为她问自己：“谁来照顾她？这对她的人生会有什么影响？”令人吃惊的是，处于如此困境下的罗琳，居然可以找到内心里的力量，去重新追寻她的童年梦想，那就是去写《哈利·波特》。在她创作第一部的时候，她经常去咖啡馆，因为在英国寒冷的冬日里，咖啡馆可以为她和女儿提供温暖。完成第一部后，罗琳将她的作品递交给很多出版商，但都被拒绝了。很多出版商告诉她，她的书永远卖不出去，因为市场缺少对这种书的需求。然而，尽管遭受拒绝，罗琳仍不放弃，她继续把她的作品寄出去。最终，伦敦的一家较小的出版社同意出版《哈利·波特》第一部。
据报道，2000年夏，她的前三部《哈利·波特》赚了4亿多美元，被翻译成35种语言出版，出售了3,000多万本。现在，她被认为是世界上最成功的作家——在最短的时间内创造出最好的销售量。
继续前行，也许就在你没有指望的时候，你会无意之间发现机遇。我还从没听过，有谁坐着就能够发现机遇。
注释
① switch v. 转换；用鞭子等抽打
② phonograph n. 留声机；电唱机
③ laboratory n. 实验室，研究室
Attitude Management 管理你的态度
Umar Saleh
Everyone wants to be popular and prestigious①among people around him. All the time people try to impress others without good reasons and impose their material thoughts upon them. Most of people perform certain acts just for the sake of being noticed by others and winning their praise all the way. They try to wear different clothes and adopt modern fashions which they think make them look impressive. Apparently they get an abrupt attention but it remains a fake attitude to be admired for a long time.
What is your real worth? It will be revealed by others when you are not present. People remain observing us all the time and we cannot deny this factor yet we are also afraid being witnessed continuously. This feeling keeps us uncomfortable and we are not relaxed or at ease all the time, which is quite natural.
If we want to manage our attitude we should change from within, we have to work on our attitude. We have to behave and take actions according to our inner motives, thinking and ego. One must be strong enough to mould his or her attitude according to situations and tough times.
It is a challenging job to be performed with inner decision and if somebody tries to handle tough situations by maintaining good gestures he or she must be appreciated and recognized within the people or if somebody fails to do so, he or she may become the laughing stock for others.
If somebody behaves in a strong manner with a positive thinking no doubt he or she will earn the respect from the other people and they will start admiring and giving value as a high profile personality. The popularity may come to uplift② that person in the eyes of fellow beings. This will be quite satisfying and honorable too.
So it is the attitude which becomes so important rather than adopting the latest fashion and doing certain things which can bring a change in a positive manner. Superficial activities have a very timely and temporary③effect rather good and positive attitude really makes you distinguished all the way.
每个人都希望自己在身边的人群中受欢迎和有声望。人们总是试着影响别人，但又没有好的理由，还要把自己的想法强加给别人。大多数人为了引起别人的注意以及一直得到别人的称赞，会刻意表现出某些行为。他们试着穿不同的衣服，佩戴现代时尚的东西，他们认为这样会让自己看起来令人印象深刻。显然，他们会获得暂时的注意，但是对于想要长期受人赞赏来说，这种态度显然是错误的。
你的真正价值是什么？这会在你不在场的时候被别人透露出来。人们一直在观察着我们，然而不可否认，我们也害怕被一直不断地注视着。这感觉让我们不舒服，我们也不放松，至少不是每时每刻都轻松，这是很自然的事。
如果我们想要管理自己的态度，我们应该从内心做起，我们必须致力于自身的态度。我们必须根据内在动机、思想和自我意识来表现并采取行动。人们必须足够强大，才能在艰难的时期和境况下形成自己的态度。
根据内在决定来表现自己是件挑战的事，如果有人试着保持良好的姿态度过困境，那么他一定会得到人们的赞赏和认可。但如果没有做到这样，他可能会成为别人的笑柄。
如果人的行为方式带有强烈的积极想法，毫无疑问，他会获得别人的尊重，别人也会开始以一个高姿态来赞美他并赋予他价值。名气会提升这个人在同伴眼中的形象地位。这也会令人感到满足和光荣。
因此，重要的是态度，而不是穿戴最新的流行时尚，或是做一些引人注意的事，来达到一种积极的改变。表面行为有的只是及时而短暂的效应，良好且积极的态度才能真正地始终让你成为杰出的人。
注释
① prestigious a. 有名望的；有声望的
② uplift v. 提高；抬起
③ temporary a. 暂时的，临时的
Take the Box off Your Head 冲破束缚
Margaret R
When I began my journey towards the understanding of Third Q, my life was not worth much. My expectations and my achievements were severely① limited. My thinking was boxed in, and I suspect that yours is, too.
My comfortable existence in some ways reflects the way many of us live our lives. We feel safe in our own little worlds. We are afraid of stepping outside our boundaries. Even though an amazing world of joy and success awaits us on the other side, we are often unwilling to break free of our self-created boundaries.
It's as if each of us lives our life in a box. However, none of our boxes are the same. Some are larger, some are smaller; some have thicker walls, and some have thinner walls. And interestingly, it seems that people with the most wants, needs, and desires tend to live in tiny boxes that tend not to grow through the years. But limitations are not reserved for those who are poor or unhappy. Even millionaires② live in a box. Theirs may be larger, but their boxes are no less limiting. In fact, Max, my mentor, told me once that the same mind it took for him to become a millionaire was not the same one that he needed to become a billionaire. He needed to break out of his millionaire box.
This discussion of mental boxes is more than just a metaphor. The constraints we create in our heads are as real as the walls of a cardboard box; not only do they keep us contained, but they also keep us from seeing what's outside. Fortunately, unlike a cardboard box, the walls we create in our minds are flexible. And as a consequence the more knowledge and openness we bring into our box, the more we can expand the box and thin its walls. Truly enlightened③ people have large boxes with ultra-thin walls like a balloon, and some, like the Dalai Lama, actually shatter the boundaries of their boxes. Once you realize this truth, you can endeavor to gain the skills necessary to grow your box and, in turn, expand your reality.
As an exercise, cover your head with a box. Leave it there for at least five minutes. Think about the limits of your experience inside the box. What can you see? What are you missing?
Now, take the box from your head. What do you experience? A sense of freedom? Joy? An appreciation of the world around you?
Close your eyes and reflect on your thoughts. Do you find that certain factors are limiting those thoughts? Try to fill your mind with thoughts that are free of the bias of others, thoughts that serve you, thoughts that empower you, thoughts that expand you.
在我才刚开始领会“自我发现”的意义时，我感到人生并没有很大的价值。我的期望和成就受到了严重的限制。我的思维被定势，而且我猜想，你也一样。
我安逸的生活在某些方面反应了我们很多人的生活方式。我们在自己的小世界里拥有安全感。我们害怕迈出自己的边界。即使外面有快乐和成功的神奇世界在等着我们，我们也常常不愿意挣脱自己设立的边界的束缚。
这就好像我们每个人都生活在盒子里一样。然而，我们每个人的盒子都不同。有些人的大一些，有些人的则小些；有些人的有较厚的纸壁，而有些人的纸壁较薄。有趣的是，似乎那些有强烈欲望、需求和心愿的人，往往倾向于住在几年都不会变大的小盒子里。然而，边界不是为穷人或不幸的人设立的，即使是百万富翁也住在盒子里。只是他们的盒子可能更大些，但他们的盒子同样有界限。我的导师马克斯曾经告诉我，实际上对他来说，想要成为一个百万富翁，与想成为亿万富翁的思维是不一样的。他需要逃脱百万富翁的盒子。
精神盒子的说法不只是个比喻。我们在自己脑中创建的约束和纸盒的纸壁一样真实；它们不仅束缚我们，而且阻拦我们观看外面的世界。幸运的是，和纸盒不一样的是，我们脑中建立的纸壁是灵活可变的。所以，我们将更多的知识和开阔的眼界带入盒子，这样我们就能更大程度地扩大我们的盒子，削薄我们的纸壁。确实，开明的人有更大的盒子，这些盒子的纸壁非常薄，就像气球，又有点像是达赖喇嘛，他们最终会打破盒子的界限。你一旦意识到这个事实，就可以努力获得必要的技能去扩大盒子，反过来，这又会作用于你的现实生活。
做个练习。用一个盒子盖住你的头，然后在里面至少待5分钟。想想你在盒子里这种被限制的感受。你能看到什么？你又会错过什么？
现在，将盒子从头上拿掉。你感受到了什么？自由感？快乐？对你周围世界的欣赏？
闭上眼睛思考一番。你找到限制你想法的具体原因了吗？不要管别人的偏见，用自己的想法填充你的头脑，而这些想法是对你有用的，能激励你，会发展你。
注释
① severely ad. 严重地；严格地；严厉地
② millionaire n. 百万富翁；大富豪
③ enlighten v. 启发，启蒙；教导，开导；照耀
Are You Afraid of Accepting More Good? 你害怕接受更多的美好吗？
Linda-Ann Stewart
Many years ago, I participated in an exercise at a workshop to show us how at ease we were with allowing good into our lives. As I imagined a little extra good flowing in, I was fine. But when I visualized a lot more good, I started to get anxious, even scared.
The exercise continued, expanding the amount of good I would let in. When I got past that first barrier, I was once again comfortable with the concept of letting more good into my life. It was an interesting exercise for me, showing that, for some reason, I was fearful of allowing more Universal good flow into me.
Why would anyone be afraid of more good? Imagine heaven smiling down upon you, living in grace, everything falling into place in your life. Why would that create anxiety? Isn't that exactly what you want?
Since the time of the exercise, I've discovered that many people share the fear I experienced. It comes in various shapes and forms, and from multiple causes. And it's one reason you unconsciously block your desires. Because of past experiences, you don't know what catastrophe① will happen if you actually achieve what you say you want in life.
Over the years, I've identified a few reasons for that concern:
Fear of a backlash. If you receive more good, you fear that somehow it will be taken away. It's almost a superstition② that one hand will give the good, and another hand will take it away. Sometimes, this comes from childhood. You might have received something you really wanted, but then had a cherished toy taken from you because your parent decided that you'd outgrown it.
Have to give it away. I've known several people who deliberately kept their income at a low level so they wouldn't have to give their extra money to indigent relatives. They couldn't say "No" to the relatives, and save the extra for a rainy day in their own life. From a young age, they were trained that they had to give all their extra toys and cherished possessions to their siblings or cousins. They were the "Cinderella" of the family, and haven't realized that things can be different now.
Fear of punishment. Somehow, you fear that more good will bring some punishment upon you. Some force will come down and make you pay for having something great happen. You're receiving more good than you deserve and should be flogged for it. The only thing that punishes you is your old programming. You deserve all the good you receive.
This is one of the issues I discovered I had. I once had a childhood friend who would put me down whenever I had something nice happen in my life. She once told me that she wanted to make sure I didn't exaggerate my importance. So I stopped telling her of any positives that occurred.
To begin to overcome this irrational fear that more good is scary, examine what happened when you were a child. When you got some toy or reward that others didn't get, how did you feel? What happened? Did you get beat up, was it taken away, were you emotionally abandoned, resented or attacked? Maybe you always had to share, and when you got the toy back, it was damaged or destroyed.
Whatever happened to you, it set up a pattern in your subconscious to expect this type of reaction every time you received something good in your life. And it probably continues to this day. To begin to combat that programming, remind yourself that you're the grownup now, and you have the power to say "Yes" or "No" or"Take a hike". And that you have the strength, ability, knowledge and resources to take care of your own inner self and worth.
I still practice the workshop exercise occasionally. It gives me feedback as to where I might be blocking myself, and to expand my acceptance of more good. When I feel the fear, I talk to it, letting it know that it doesn't have to protect me anymore. You can do the same thing, and allow yourself to open your mind to receive more good every day.
很多年前，我参加了一个研讨会的测试，想要测验在我们同意接受美好事物进入我们的生活后，我们到底有多舒适。当我想象一些美好事物涌进我脑子的时候，我感觉很不错。但是，当我想象更多的美好时，我开始变得焦躁，甚至是害怕。
这个测试继续进行，它扩大了我允许进入的美好事物的范围。在我跨过第一道障碍后，我又开始对让更多美好事物进入我的生活的想法感到舒服自在。对我来说，这是个有趣的测试，它表明因为某些原因我害怕让更多的美好事物进入我的生活。
为什么会有人害怕接受更多的美好事物呢？想象一下，上帝对你微笑，生活十分安逸，一切都有条不紊地进行着，但为什么这样也会让人感到不安和焦虑呢？这不就是你真正想要的吗？
自从那次测试之后，我发现很多人都和我一样害怕。这种害怕源于不同的原因，以不同的形式表现出来。这是不知不觉阻碍你追求梦想的原因之一。基于过去的经验，当你确实得到了生活中自己想要的东西时，你不知道会发生什么大灾难。
多年以来，我发现了产生这种想法的几个原因：
害怕倒退。如果你得到了更多好的事物，你害怕它会莫名地被拿走。在迷信中有这种说法，得到好东西的同时，你也会失去它。有时，这种害怕是源于童年经历。你可能得到了一样你真的很想要的东西，但是随后你就会被拿走另一个心爱的玩具，因为你的父母认为你已经长大了，不再需要它了。
不得不放弃。我认识几个人，他们故意让自己的收入保持在低水平上，因为这样他们就不用将自己多余的钱给他们的穷亲戚了。他们不用对那些亲戚说“不”，并且还能将这些额外的钱留给自己以备不时之需。从小他们就被教育，必须要把自己多余的玩具和心爱的东西给他们的兄弟姐妹。他们就是家里的“灰姑娘”，但是他们没意识到事情现在已经不同了。
害怕惩罚。不知为什么，你害怕得到更多的美好事物会给你带来一些惩罚。某些不好的事情会发生，让你付出很大的代价。你不认为你理应得到这么多美好，所以你应该受到惩罚。惩罚你的唯一东西是你以前的想法。你值得获得那些好的事物。
我发现这也是我存在的一个问题。曾经，我有个童年伙伴，每当我有什么好事时，她总是羞辱贬低我。一次，她告诉我说，她是想确定我没有在夸大自己的重要性。所以，后来我再遇到好事时，就不会再告诉她了。
为了克服对接受更多美好事物的非理性恐惧，首先你要回顾小时候所发生的事。当你得到别人没有得到的玩具或奖励时，你的感觉是什么？又发生了什么事？你被攻击了，东西被拿走了，又或者你被孤立讨厌了？也许你不得不去和别人分享，而且当你把玩具要回来的时候，它已经被毁坏了。
无论你身上发生过什么事，它总会在你的潜意识里建立一种模式，而且，每当你在人生中获得什么美好事物时，你就会有这种反应。并且，这种反应一直持续到现在。所以，开始与这种潜意识的想法抗争，提醒你自己现在已经长大了，而且你有权利说“是”或者“不是”，又或者说“哪凉快哪呆着去”。你有力量、能力、知识和资源，去顺从内心的自己和自我价值。
我仍然时不时地参加研讨会的测试。因为它会给予我反馈，告诉我在哪里限制了自己，应如何扩大自己的脑容量去接受更多的美好事物。当我感到害怕时，我会和大脑进行交谈，让它知道它不再需要保护我了。你也可以这么去做，允许自己打开大脑，每天接受更多的美好。
注释
① catastrophe n. 大灾难；大祸；惨败
② superstition n. 迷信
Making More of Your Life 创造更好的生活
Keith Barrett
When you think about your life and your achievements, you may have some feelings that are associated with doubts, or with regret. It's easy to feel like you haven't achieved all that you can, or that life should be so much better. Indeed, you may discover that you spend time looking at others with a sense of jealousy.
Your own feelings may reflect realistic issues about the progression① of your career, or the state of the relationships that you are involved in. What does become clear is that you may need to make some changes in order to find the levels of success that you crave.
Before doing so, there may also be value associated with working out what it is that you are really trying to achieve. Do you have aims that are realistic? Although it's no bad thing to set the bar at a high level, this may not be the most appropriate approach in all circumstances. You need to give some consideration② to the levels that you will be able to reach.
It's often the case in life that you will be trying to put yourself in the best possible position to be able to take advantage of the possibilities that are out there. If you're really going to meet your ambitions, then you'll need to give yourself the best possible chance.
It can also be incredibly dangerous to spend too much time thinking about how others perceive you. This is not to say, of course, that this is not a natural approach to the problem. It can become easy to get drawn in to spending endless hours pondering the thoughts of others. Ultimately, this can actually have a negative impact on your own happiness levels.
Would it be nice to think that other people's opinions shouldn't matter to you at all? Although this may be something that seems pretty appealing, you do need to think about whether you will ever put yourself in that position. The problem here is often one that seems to centre on individual perceptions③.
You may well perceive that others look at you and consider your actions in detail. But is this really the case? It's more likely that you are building up this picture, due to your own awareness of the things that you say and do. Ultimately, you may be the person who emerges as being your greatest critic.
Most of us will tend to find that it's easier to identify personal problems than success stories. Sometimes, however, you do need to make the time to pat yourself on the back. It's nice to be positive and to appreciate your own efforts. Such a course of action can really allow yourself to blossom in full.
Think about whether a positive approach could allow you to develop and to flourish.
当你思考自己的生活和成就时，你也许会感到疑惑或后悔。人们很容易感觉自己没有得到所有自己想要的，或者认为生活可以更美好。事实上，你也许会发现自己带着种嫉妒感在花时间观察别人。
你的感觉也许反应了你在事业或者感情中的现实问题。然而，清楚的是，你也许需要做些改变来确定你所希望获得成功的程度。
在做这些之前，你需要知道你真正想要得到的是什么。你有实际意义的目标吗？虽然把目标定得高并不是件坏事，但这并非在所有的情况下都是最合适的方法。你需要考虑你能达到的水平。
在生活中经常会出现这种情况：你会努力把自己放在一个尽可能最好的位置，进而利用周边所有的可能性。如果你确实想要达到目标，那么你需要给自己尽可能最好的机会。
花太多的时间思考别人怎么看待你，这也会非常危险。当然，这并不意味着这不是正常的现象。但是，这会很容易让人陷入花无止境的时间考虑别人的想法的深渊。最终，这确实会对你自己的幸福感产生负面影响。
那么，认为别人的意见对你一点也不重要的想法好吗？虽然这看起来似乎很好，但是你确实需要思考你是否会让自己陷入那样的境地。问题是，这样就似乎太以自我为中心了。
你很可能感觉别人正在看你，并仔细地考量着你的行为。但是，情况真的是这样吗？这很可能是根据你言行的意识而自己构建的画面。最终，你也许会成为自己最大的批评家。
大多数人常常会发现比起成功来说，我们更容易鉴别出自己的问题。然而，有时我们确实需要花点时间拍拍自己的背，安慰安慰自己。积极乐观，欣赏自己付出的努力，这是件好事。这样的做法确实可以让你开花结果并大获丰收。
想一想，是否存在积极的方法，可以让你不断发展并达到成功。
注释
① progression n. 前进；连续
② consideration n. 考虑；原因；关心；报酬
③ perception n. 知觉；看法；洞察力
Learning the Virtue of Being Patient 如何培养工作中的耐心
Amy Twain
Patience is a virtue, as they say, but many of us(myself included—sometimes) struggle with being patient—or should I say, the lack of it. And some negative things follow when you lack patience. Like say, when a certain person really pisses you off, or even the thought of a particular situation about something, then you feel bad, or you can't focus your attention to what you're doing or what you are about to do. Not to mention that you tend to compromise① your relationships with people—just because you lack the value of being patient.
Okay, just like with anything, it may take time to be patient—perhaps that's why it's quite a rare virtue. Especially in these times of almost all things instant—IM, chats, text messaging, instant noodles, instant coffee, the works.
For instance, let's say you're a newbie and you got your very first job ever—in an office. Obviously, you have no idea what it feels like working with a bunch of professionals in this kind of working environment. At first, it can be quite new to you how to jibe along with your colleagues, not to mention learning new things like your tasks or projects which needs to master. If you are not patient enough, you can get easily frustrated if you don't master it fast enough or you make some mistakes along the way. However, over time, you can get the hang of things and it does take time to master a certain task.
As for making mistakes, it will also help you learn to be more patient if you ask questions or clarifications②from your supervisor or your workmates about your work.
So that any errors you have or confusion, it will already be rectified or corrected early on before you have many errors, or else, it will delay the productivity of your organization, or you won't give a hard time for your office mates (especially if your work involves stages wherein various tasks are via stages, and handled by different staff).
At times, it can be quite disturbing not to mention uncomfortable if you argues with someone at work. Don't think that you can simply be overruled③ just because that employee has already been there with the company longer and you're just a newbie.
Nevertheless, over time with experience, hopefully you'll get to learn how to draft your arguments, so that you can present your case or opinions objectively and briefly. Bear in mind that certain corporate settings can indeed be aggressive or can even be cutthroat. The more exposed and patient you will be, the better you will be in trying to cope with that kind of environment. It's comforting to realize that the things you learn through experience will eventually help you to give the patience you need even in the day to day dealings with others, which can be crucial also.
俗话说，耐心是种美德，但是我们很多人时常（有时也包括我自己）与耐心斗争——或者说我们缺乏耐心。如果你缺乏耐心，就会出现一些负面影响。比如，当某人或者某些事确实惹怒了你，你就会感觉很不好，或者你不能集中注意力做你正在做或将要去做的事。不要说你不想破坏与别人的关系，这只是因为你缺乏耐心。
当然，像做任何其他事一样，变得有耐心也需要花时间——也许这就是为什么耐心是如此少有的美德的原因吧，尤其是当几乎所有的事情都很紧迫的时候——即时通讯、聊天、发信息、速食面、速溶咖啡和工作。
例如，假定你是个职场新手，你得到了人生中的第一份工作——在一个办公室里。很显然，你对自己在这样的工作环境中、与一群专业人员一起工作是什么感觉是毫无概念的。首先，你没有经验，不知如何与你的同事一起说笑，更不用说学习你需要掌握的工作和项目之类的新事物。如果你没有足够的耐心的话，而你又没有很快掌握与同事的相处之道，或者在这过程中你犯了些错误，你就会很容易感到沮丧。然而，随着时间的推移，你会得知这些事的窍门，掌握一件事确实需要时间。
至于犯错误，如果你向你的主管或者同事询问关于你工作的问题事宜，这也会促使你变得更有耐心。
所以，在你犯很多错误前，你有的所有错误或困惑都会在早期被矫正或改正，否则，这会耽误你组织的生产力，或者你也不会因此给你的同事带来很多麻烦（尤其当你的工作涉及到分工合作时，各种工作都会被你不同的同事接手）。
有时，在你和同事争吵时，你不能提到自己不愉快，这确实是件憋屈的事。但不要仅仅因为别人在公司待的时间比你长，而你只是个新手，就认为你要被控制和欺负。
然而，随着时间的流逝，你的经验不断增加，你就很有希望学习到如何组织你的论点，从而客观简洁地呈现你的工作或观点。请记住，公司设置确实充满着争抢好斗，或者说残酷。你越有耐心，你就会在这种环境中把事物处理得越好。令人欣慰的是，即使你每天都是在与别人打交道、处理人际关系中度过的，你从中学到的经验最终也会帮助你培养你需要的耐心，这点同样很重要。
注释
① compromise v. 妥协；让步
② clarification n. 澄清，说明；净化
③ overrule v. 否决；统治；对……施加影响
What Confident People Do—They Make Things Happen 自信的人在做什么——付诸实践
Amy Twain
In life, there are no guarantees. And confident people surely know this that's why they constantly try and make attempts come what may. Sure there are times which they fail or they may fall short of everyone's expectations, but that's not going to deter them from trying all over again and pursue what they want. In fact, it will all the more challenge them as confident people thrive on challenges and make them even more resilient.
Most of us, we know what we want but are hindered by our imagined fear of the unknown, waiting for permission①, waiting for the right time.
"When I lose weight, I'll buy that dress", "Only when I'm ready", "Not until I got enough practice","Not until I have enough time". Excuses, excuses. Never ending excuses.
Confident people never wait for that perfect timing, not even for perfection. For them, every day is a day worth trying, worth perfecting an art, a skill, a technique to practice. Not next month, not when the time is right. Confident people never wait for a fantasy to happen. For all we do is dream and wait, isn't it all a fantasy? But how about making this day a reality? Stop dreaming and start making it happen!
What if at all you're only wasting your time? Why not just spend time attempting and failing than never to have tried at all? At least your efforts are never wasted by worrying but still not doing anything at all.
If you attempted, at least you'll know what works and not. Even if you failed, you'll congratulate yourself for at least making an effort in jumping and taking that plunge②—sink or swim!
在生活中，我们不能保证任何事，自信的人清楚地了解这一点。这也就是为什么他们不管怎样都要不断地尝试和努力。当然，他们有时候会失败，或者不能达到别人的期望，然而这不会阻止他们再次尝试去追求他们想要的。事实上，这对他们是更大的挑战，对于自信的人，他们会在挑战中成长，并且让自己的适应性变得更强。
对于我们绝大多数人来说，我们虽然都清楚自己想要什么，但是都会被我们想象中的未知恐惧所阻碍，只会去等待别人的许可，等待恰当的时机。
“我减肥后再买这条裙子”，“当我准备好了再说”，“等我做了足够的练习以后”，“在我有足够的时间后”。借口，借口，无穷无尽的借口。
自信的人永远不会只是傻傻地等待好时机出现，不会等到一切都完美了再说。对于他们来说，每天都值得尝试，值得改善实践的艺术、技能和技巧。不会等到下个月，或者对的时间。自信的人永远不会等天上自动掉馅饼。而我们做的却只是做梦和等待，这些难道不都是空想吗？可以马上行动起来吗？从今天开始，停止做梦，付诸实践吧！
如果你只是在浪费你的时间会怎么样？为什么不花时间尝试？即便失败也好过不曾行动。至少你的努力不会白费，你不会再空坐在那里瞎操心。
如果你努力了，至少你能知道什么行得通，什么行不通。即使失败了，你也会祝贺自己至少努力地跃起跳入水里，下水之后——要么下沉，要么游动！
注释
① permission n. 允许；许可
② plunge v. 投入；陷入；跳入
