登陆注册
4132800000094

第94章 CHAPTER XII(6)

She moved her hand. "They might have kissed it, one of them, before they put it in. It never did any one any harm in all its little life. They might have kissed it, one of them."

Gregory felt that some one was sobbing in the room.

Late on in the evening, when the shutter was closed and the lamp lighted, and the rain-drops beat on the roof, he took the cloak from behind the door and went away with it. On his way back he called at the village post- office and brought back a letter. In the hall he stood reading the address. How could he fail to know whose hand had written it? Had he not long ago studied those characters on the torn fragments of paper in the old parlour? A burning pain was at Gregory's heart. If now, now at the last, one should come, should step in between! He carried the letter into the bedroom and gave it to her. "Bring me the lamp nearer," she said. When she had read it she asked for her desk.

Then Gregory sat down in the lamp-light on the other side of the curtain, and heard the pencil move on the paper. When he looked round the curtain she was lying on the pillow musing. The open letter lay at her side; she glanced at it with soft eyes. The man with the languid eyelids must have been strangely moved before his hand set down those words:

"Let me come back to you! My darling, let me put my hand round you, and guard you from all the world. As my wife they shall never touch you. I have learnt to love you more wisely, more tenderly, than of old; you shall have perfect freedom. Lyndall, grand little woman, for your own sake be my wife!

"Why did you send that money back to me? You are cruel to me; it is not rightly done."

She rolled the little red pencil softly between her fingers, and her face grew very soft. Yet:

"It cannot be," she wrote; "I thank you much for the love you have shown me; but I cannot listen. You will call me mad, foolish--the world would do so; but I know what I need and the kind of path I must walk in. I cannot marry you. I will always love you for the sake of what lay by me those three hours; but there it ends. I must know and see, I cannot be bound to one whom I love as I love you. I am not afraid of the world--I will fight the world. One day--perhaps it may be far off--I shall find what I have wanted all my life; something nobler, stronger than I, before which I can kneel down. You lose nothing by not having me now; I am a weak, selfish, erring woman. One day I shall find something to worship, and then I shall be--"

"Nurse," she said; "take my desk away; I am suddenly so sleepy; I will write more tomorrow." She turned her face to the pillow; it was the sudden drowsiness of great weakness. She had dropped asleep in a moment, and Gregory moved the desk softly, and then sat in the chair watching. Hour after hour passed, but he had no wish for rest, and sat on, hearing the rain cease, and the still night settle down everywhere. At a quarter-past twelve he rose, and took a last look at the bed where she lay sleeping so peacefully; then he turned to go to his couch. Before he had reached the door she had started up and was calling him back.

"You are sure you have put it up?" she said, with a look of blank terror at the window. "It will not fall open in the night, the shutter--you are sure?"

He comforted her. Yes, it was tightly fastened.

"Even if it is shut," she said, in a whisper, "you cannot keep it out! You feel it coming in at four o'clock, creeping, creeping, up, up; deadly cold!" She shuddered.

He thought she was wandering, and laid her little trembling body down among the blankets.

"I dreamed just now that it was not put up," she said, looking into his eyes; "and it crept right in and I was alone with it."

"What do you fear?" he asked, tenderly.

"The Grey Dawn," she said, glancing round at the window. "I was never afraid of anything, never, when I was a little child, but I have always been afraid of that. You will not let it come in to me?"

"No, no; I will stay with you," he continued.

But she was growing calmer. "No, you must go to bed. I only awoke with a start; you must be tired. I am childish, that is all;" but she shivered again.

He sat down beside her, after some time she said: "Will you not rub my feet?"

He knelt down at the foot of the bed and took the tiny foot in his hand; it was swollen and unsightly now, but as he touched it he bent down and covered it with kisses.

"It makes it better when you kiss it; thank you. What makes you all love me so?" Then dreamily she muttered to herself: "Not utterly bad, not quite bad--what makes them all love me so?"

Kneeling there, rubbing softly, with his cheek pressed against the little foot, Gregory dropped to sleep at last. How long he knelt there he could not tell; but when he started up awake she was not looking at him. The eyes were fixed on the far corner, gazing wide and intent, with an unearthly light.

He looked round fearfully. What did she see there? God's angels come to call her? Something fearful? He saw only the purple curtain with the shadows that fell from it. Softly he whispered, asking what she saw there.

And she said, in a voice strangely unlike her own: "I see the vision of a poor, weak soul striving after good. It was not cut short, and in the end it learnt, through tears and much pain, that holiness is an infinite compassion for others; that greatness is to take the common things of life and walk truly among them; that"--She moved her white hand and laid it on her forehead--"happiness is a great love and much serving. It was not cut short; and it loved what it had learnt--it loved--and--"

Was that all she saw in the corner?

Gregory told the landlady the next morning that she had been wandering all night. Yet, when he came in to give her her breakfast, she was sitting up against the pillows, looking as he had not seen her look before.

"Put it close to me," she said, "and when I have had breakfast I am going to dress."

She finished all he had brought her eagerly.

"I am sitting up quite by myself," she said. "Give me his meat;" and she fed the dog herself, cutting his food small for him. She moved to the side of the bed.

同类推荐
  • 佛说太子慕魄经

    佛说太子慕魄经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Of the Conduct of the Understanding

    Of the Conduct of the Understanding

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 太上中道妙法莲花经

    太上中道妙法莲花经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 佛说七佛经

    佛说七佛经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Fairy Tales

    Fairy Tales

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 鬼藏人(天黑莫上山,夜半鬼藏人)

    鬼藏人(天黑莫上山,夜半鬼藏人)

    (新书《憋宝人》已经上传)三十年前,一支神秘的勘探队在大兴安岭深处全军覆灭,只有谷爷爬回来,背上刻满了地图,手掌上刻着“三十年后……”;三十年后,谷爷的外孙小七,在北京过着皮货店掌柜的悠闲生活,突然间得知一位猎人死在大兴安岭林子里,临死前扒开桦树皮,咬断手指在树干上血书小七的名字……为查明真相,东家组队上山,却发现另有两支队伍也在暗暗行动。经历种种后,他们被莫名的力量引到阴山狼城。这座神秘的城池,不仅没有城门,里面还遍布着巨大的人骨坑,狼窟,巨大的狼形石雕,半空中悬挂着手腕粗的铁链子,风干的肉干。一个足以颠覆想象的宿命轮回抹平了时间的痕迹……
  • 雅声楚韵唱渔樵:李雅樵诞辰88周年纪念文集

    雅声楚韵唱渔樵:李雅樵诞辰88周年纪念文集

    本书是一部全面介绍和评点李雅樵先生表演艺术的著作,不仅有李雅樵先生传记和部分纪念性文章,也有其表演艺术、唱腔艺术和艺术心理分析文章,以及李雅樵先生代表剧目的评点文章等。
  • 童言有季

    童言有季

    讲述一个年少时期的暗恋,到后来开花结果,没有任何阻碍,最大的问题是他们自己的小甜蜜恋爱。
  • 重生的美丽人生

    重生的美丽人生

    《重生美食小甜妻》已经开坑,请收藏,投票,多多支持!!!重活一遍的周端端,没带特异功能,没有随身空间,全凭先知先觉,也要把白得更新时间:中午12:00,晚上19:00
  • 天下珍藏

    天下珍藏

    地球至今,已经有四十六亿年历史,而人类文明的起源,有文字、图画记载,只不过七八千年而已,只占人类史的百分之一。在这漫长的岁月中,一些神奇的东西,一些神秘的宝藏,一些或许存在又莫名消失的辉煌文明,在茫茫的时间长河掩埋下,只留下一鳞半爪,若隐若现。你所知道的,未必就是真相!总而言之,这是一个探索与冒险与收获的故事!天下藏珍,等你来发现……
  • Flying Machines

    Flying Machines

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 我的神奇手机牧场

    我的神奇手机牧场

    看,这里有只灵,他打架受伤了,看上去很可怜。这样下去他很快就会阴气散尽,魂飞魄散的……不如把他吃了吧。这只她报仇失败,怒气值更高了,还是把她吃了吧。这只他虽然死得很可怜,但是他经常欺负别的,这样下去会影响生态平衡的,只能吃啦。还有妖怪,妖怪跟灵不一样,它们可是有肉身的。这意味着它们富含丰富的蛋白质,当然是要吃的了。……江舟:你看我干嘛?又不是我要吃你。
  • 时间流逝了,她依然在这里

    时间流逝了,她依然在这里

    她才这个年纪,就担心养老的问题了。她忧患,是因为她自尊。记得多年前看过她的一篇随笔,写她散步的时候,看见一个体面的老人犹豫之后,终于向着路边食客的一桌剩菜走去。她说,我发誓,只要我活着,绝不让我和我的家人沦落到这等丧失尊严的地步。这种来自敏感的自尊和骨气,让我想起张爱玲,当张爱玲对胡兰成的爱已经濒临乞怜的地步,胡兰成说,她终于不能落到雾数,想要自卫了。敏感自尊的人最怕的,就是这种“雾数”,因此她们会走向决绝。
  • 甜心暖妻:高冷总裁宠上天

    甜心暖妻:高冷总裁宠上天

    自从遇到苏慕凉——这个披着高冷外衣的腹黑又逗比的大总裁,顾小苗的人生就没有正常过。“爱妻号”总裁每分每秒都在“关爱”这个可爱小秘书,奇招乱出,毫无底线,偶尔也搬起石头砸一砸自己的脚。不过,大总裁,你怎么关爱到人家床上来了!某男生扁扁嘴:老婆,为了你,为夫愿意为你霸占整个金融界和娱乐圈!顾小苗:别跟我卖萌,我不吃这套!总裁:你别穿上衣服就不认账!来,咱们再研究一下昨晚姿势的改进,多生几个宝宝……全文甜宠,走积极励志正能量路线。不虐,一萌到底!
  • 园笔乘

    园笔乘

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。