登陆注册
4700900000030

第30章

"Woloda, Woloda! The Iwins are just coming." I shouted on seeing from the window three boys in blue overcoats, and followed by a young tutor, advancing along the pavement opposite our house.

The Iwins were related to us, and of about the same age as ourselves. We had made their acquaintance soon after our arrival in Moscow. The second brother, Seriosha, had dark curly hair, a turned-up, strongly pronounced nose, very bright red lips (which, never being quite shut, showed a row of white teeth), beautiful dark-blue eyes, and an uncommonly bold expression of face. He never smiled but was either wholly serious or laughing a clear, merry, agreeable laugh. His striking good looks had captivated me from the first, and I felt an irresistible attraction towards him. Only to see him filled me with pleasure, and at one time my whole mental faculties used to be concentrated in the wish that I might do so. If three or four days passed without my seeing him I felt listless and ready to cry. Awake or asleep, I was forever dreaming of him. On going to bed I used to see him in my dreams, and when I had shut my eyes and called up a picture of him I hugged the vision as my choicest delight. So much store did I set upon this feeling for my friend that I never mentioned it to any one. Nevertheless, it must have annoyed him to see my admiring eyes constantly fixed upon him, or else he must have felt no reciprocal attraction, for he always preferred to play and talk with Woloda. Still, even with that I felt satisfied, and wished and asked for nothing better than to be ready at any time to make any sacrifice for him. Likewise, over and above the strange fascination which he exercised upon me, I always felt another sensation, namely, a dread of making him angry, of offending him, of displeasing him. Was this because his face bore such a haughty expression, or because I, despising my own exterior, over-rated the beautiful in others, or, lastly (and most probably), because it is a common sign of affection? At all events, I felt as much fear, of him as I did love. The first time that he spoke to me I was so overwhelmed with sudden happiness that I turned pale, then red, and could not utter a word. He had an ugly habit of blinking when considering anything seriously, as well as of twitching his nose and eyebrows. Consequently every one thought that this habit marred his face. Yet I thought it such a nice one that I involuntarily adopted it for myself, until, a few days after I had made his acquaintance, Grandmamma suddenly asked me whether my eyes were hurting me, since I was winking like an owl! Never a word of affection passed between us, yet he felt his power over me, and unconsciously but tyrannically, exercised it in all our childish intercourse. I used to long to tell him all that was in my heart, yet was too much afraid of him to be frank in any way, and, while submitting myself to his will, tried to appear merely careless and indifferent. Although at times his influence seemed irksome and intolerable, to throw it off was beyond my strength.

I often think with regret of that fresh, beautiful feeling of boundless, disinterested love which came to an end without having ever found self-expression or return. It is strange how, when a child, I always longed to be like grown-up people, and yet how I have often longed, since childhood's days, for those days to come back to me! Many times, in my relations with Seriosha, this wish to resemble grown-up people put a rude check upon the love that was waiting to expand, and made me repress it. Not only was I afraid of kissing him, or of taking his hand and saying how glad I was to see him, but I even dreaded calling him "Seriosha" and always said "Sergius" as every one else did in our house. Any expression of affection would have seemed like evidence of childishness, and any one who indulged in it, a baby. Not having yet passed through those bitter experiences which enforce upon older years circumspection and coldness, I deprived myself of the pure delight of a fresh, childish instinct for the absurd purpose of trying to resemble grown-up people.

I met the Iwins in the ante-room, welcomed them, and then ran to tell Grandmamma of their arrival with an expression as happy as though she were certain to be equally delighted. Then, never taking my eyes off Seriosha, I conducted the visitors to the drawing-room, and eagerly followed every movement of my favourite. When Grandmamma spoke to and fixed her penetrating glance upon him, I experienced that mingled sensation of pride and solicitude which an artist might feel when waiting for revered lips to pronounce a judgment upon his work.

With Grandmamma's permission, the Iwins' young tutor, Herr Frost, accompanied us into the little back garden, where he seated himself upon a bench, arranged his legs in a tasteful attitude, rested his brass-knobbed cane between them, lighted a cigar, and assumed the air of a man well-pleased with himself. He was a, German, but of a very different sort to our good Karl Ivanitch.

In the first place, he spoke both Russian and French correctly, though with a hard accent Indeed, he enjoyed--especially among the ladies--the reputation of being a very accomplished fellow. In the second place, he wore a reddish moustache, a large gold pin set with a ruby, a black satin tie, and a very fashionable suit.

Lastly, he was young, with a handsome, self-satisfied face and fine muscular legs. It was clear that he set the greatest store upon the latter, and thought them beyond compare, especially as regards the favour of the ladies. Consequently, whether sitting or standing, he always tried to exhibit them in the most favourable light. In short, he was a type of the young German-Russian whose main desire is to be thought perfectly gallant and gentlemanly.

同类推荐
  • SECRETS OF THE WOODS

    SECRETS OF THE WOODS

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 大方等无想经

    大方等无想经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 辩意长者子经

    辩意长者子经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 大方广佛华严经八十卷

    大方广佛华严经八十卷

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 勘处播州事情疏

    勘处播州事情疏

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 玉箓资度晚朝仪

    玉箓资度晚朝仪

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • X海贼团

    X海贼团

    据说,在航海之路上,分为了三大主要海域,只有走过了三大海域,才能去往新世之海,并开始踏上伟大航路。为此,D之一族哥尔·D·罗可多弗朗加入了大海贼时代的队伍中。传说中被称为哥尔·D·罗杰一切的“GoldTimes”现被放于大海的尽头“天涯之岛”,现今,大海贼时代的故事开始了!
  • 嫡仇

    嫡仇

    流景云说:“你只是我的一颗棋子,娶你只是为了灭你满门。”艳青青说:“景云他从未爱过你,是你自己没用,抓不住男人的心,景王妃的头衔你早就该让出来。”当一场阴谋终结,她亲眼所见楼家一百三十口,命丧断头台,血染红了她的眼,她才知道所谓的真情不过是算计她的假象!夫君和闺密原来早就苟且,心很痛,可是却无泪。她发誓所有欠她的统统都得加倍偿还。家恨血仇让她坚守信念,决不能白白死去,老天有眼,她绝处逢生!孤身一人远走他国,终于进入江湖第一大庄园,她只想苦练功夫好早日报仇。却不曾想,要提升内里,需将自己献给丑怪庄主……
  • 风易归之

    风易归之

    如果这个世界上有后悔药的话,云轻浅表示绝对绝对不会再一个人出门旅行。可惜,没有如果。
  • 赠你一场盛世繁华

    赠你一场盛世繁华

    我的未婚夫赵彦有了外遇,我跟踪外遇对象的哥哥贺子华。我高傲的甩了赵彦,又用肚子逼贺子华娶我。豪门婚姻里,充斥着刀光剑影的算计,贺子华的前女友屡次置我于不义,我的前男友又到处给我使绊子。贺子华说:“沈珂,你太让我失望了,我一直忍你,就是看在你肚子的份上,没想到你根本不能生育!”他还说:“你走吧,别再让我见到你。”我拿着离婚协议,净身出户。三年后,我支教归来,为了生计入职了一家广告公司。岂料他竟然是幕后BOSS!他逼问我那个和他一个模子刻出来的孩子,到底是谁的?我高傲的笑笑:“石头里蹦出来的!”他把我推到:“你倒是再蹦个我看看!”有种爱情,由恨起,因爱终,有种婚姻,路坎坷,终圆满。
  • 影后你马甲掉了

    影后你马甲掉了

    [已完结]猫族大祭司的女儿夜离音是猫族青年心中的女神,颜值妖力都是同龄翘楚。大祭司历劫之时,被暗害意外到了人界。夜离音想,她真的不是故意掉影帝大人浴缸的,只是听说他家的饼干好吃,所以她过来闻闻味道…被撩的某影帝声音沙哑:“小猫,你的尾巴能不能别乱动。”夜离音傲娇的仰头摇动着尾巴,哼,本喵大人是你可以命令的吗!于是,她光荣的让影帝大人成为她的铲屎官。粉丝发现,只转电影宣传片的男神,化身宠猫狂魔天天晒猫了,这只异瞳猫还漂亮至极,圈粉无数。后来影帝大人的粉丝越来越多,大多是为了猫而来。直到有一天影帝大人晒了跟新晋影后的结婚证,粉丝们后知后觉的发现,影后也有一双异瞳…【甜宠,身心干净1V1!】
  • 北极光

    北极光

    林澈从小就喜欢和爷爷玩耍,可是后来爷爷的身体越来越严重,连一向吵架的爸爸妈妈也开始和睦起来了,可是真的有那么平静吗,爷爷去世后,林澈终于知道了,爸爸妈妈和好是假,为了爷爷的产业才是真,爸爸妈妈在打闹之中失去了生命,林澈也进入了孤儿院,直到十三岁才去了舅舅家,林澈按照遗嘱背负了许多人都眼红的财产,阴谋越来越多,林澈遇到了一个叫韩子澈的人,还有林书翰,在无数的分分合合后,林澈身穿白色婚纱出现在了众人面前。
  • 密爱燃情,总裁的影子恋人

    密爱燃情,总裁的影子恋人

    他说:“我会一直爱你。”可他却娶了她的姐姐。他说:“你只能是我的。”便将她锁在身边。什么是爱?情深却已陌路,爱如潮水永不回……
  • 九剑录之剑歌

    九剑录之剑歌

    闯江湖,识红颜,报家仇,天人隔。葬剑归隐,常悲月。
  • 琦玉的二次元之旅

    琦玉的二次元之旅

    推荐无敌好文《我的修仙非日常》!周乞很方,摇身一变,他竟然穿越成了琦玉;这可不得了,要知道琦玉老师可是有着大敌的男人;穿越成琦玉,就能有琦玉这么强的天真想法实在是太犯规了;所以,这是一个穿越者穿越成了琦玉,却还在努力变强的故事。(箱庭——漆黑萝莉——从零开始的异世界——一拳超人——游戏人生剧场——某科学、海贼、骨王、一拳、龙珠等等在书友群讨论)