"They say I must repent and be sorry for my sins," said he. "I have been trying very hard; but I can't think of any, except once that Igave Gog" (his Welsh pony) "such a beating because he would go where I didn't want him. But he's forgotten it long ago; and I gave him two feeds of corn after it, and so somehow I can't feel very sorry now. What shall I do?--But that's not what I mind most. It always seems to me it would be so much grander of God to say: 'Come along, never mind. I'll make you good. I can't wait till you are good; Ilove you so much.'"
His own words were too much for Harry, and he burst into tears at the thought of God being so kind. Euphra, instead of trying to comfort him, cried too. Thus they continued for some time, Harry with his head on her knees, and she kindly fondling it with her distressed hands. Harry was the first to recover; for his was the April time, when rain clears the heavens. All at once he sprung to his feet, and exclaimed:
"Only think, Euphra! What if, after all, I should find out that God is as kind as you are!"How Euphra's heart smote her!
"Dear Harry," answered she, "God must be a great deal kinder than Iam. I have not been kind to you at all."
"Don't say that, Euphra. I shall be quite content if God is as kind as you.""Oh, Harry! I hope God is like what I dreamed about my mother last night.""Tell me what you dreamed about her, dear Euphra.""I dreamed that I was a little child--"
"Were you a little girl when your mother died?""Oh, yes; such a tiny! But I can just remember her.""Tell me your dream, then."
"I dreamed that I was a little girl, out all alone on a wild mountain-moor, tripping and stumbling on my night-gown. And the wind was so cold! And, somehow or other, the wind was an enemy to me, and it followed and caught me, and whirled and tossed me about, and then ran away again. Then I hastened on, and the thorns went into my feet, and the stones cut them. And I heard the blood from them trickling down the hill-side as I walked.""Then they would be like the feet I saw in my dream last night.""Whose feet were they?"
"Jesus' feet."
"Tell me about it."
"You must finish yours first, please, Euphra."So Euphra went on:
"I got dreadfully lame. And the wind ran after me, and caught me again, and took me in his great blue ghostly arms, and shook me about, and then dropped me again to go on. But it was very hard to go on, and I couldn't stop; and there was no use in stopping, for the wind was everywhere in a moment. Then suddenly I saw before me a great cataract, all in white, falling flash from a precipice; and I thought with myself, 'I will go into the cataract, and it will beat my life out, and then the wind will not get me any more.' So Ihastened towards it, but the wind caught me many times before I got near it. At last I reached it, and threw myself down into the basin it had hollowed out of the rocks. But as I was falling, something caught me gently, and held me fast, and it was not the wind. Iopened my eyes, and behold! I was in my mother's arms, and she was clasping me to her breast; for what I had taken for a cataract falling into a gulf, was only my mother, with her white grave-clothes floating all about her, standing up in her grave, to look after me. 'It was time you came home, my darling,' she said, and stooped down into her grave with me in her arms. And oh! I was so happy; and her bosom was not cold, or her arms hard, and she carried me just like a baby. And when she stooped down, then a door opened somewhere in the grave, I could not find out where exactly--and in a moment after, we were sitting together in a summer grove, with the tree-tops steeped in sunshine, and waving about in a quiet loving wind--oh, how different from the one that chased me home!--and we underneath in the shadow of the trees. And then Isaid, 'Mother, I've hurt my feet.'"
"Did you call her mother when you were a little girl?" interposed Harry.
"No," answered Euphra. "I called her mamma, like other children; but in my dreams I always call her mother.""And what did she say?"
"She said--'Poor child!'--and held my feet to her bosom; and after that, when I looked at them, the bleeding was all gone, and I was not lame any more."Euphra, paused with a sigh.
"Oh, Harry! I do not like to be lame."
"What more?" said Harry, intent only on the dream.
"Oh! then I was so happy, that I woke up directly.""What a pity! But if it should come true?"
"How could it come true, dear Harry?"
"Why, this world is sometimes cold, and the road is hard--you know what I mean, Euphra.""Yes, I do."
"I wish I could dream dreams like that! How clever you must be!""But you dream dreams, too, Harry. Tell me yours.""Oh, no, I never dream dreams; the dreams dream me," answered Harry, with a smile.
Then he told his dream, to which Euphra listened with an interest uninjured by the grotesqueness of its fancy. Each interpreted the other's with reverence.
They ceased talking; and sat silent for a while. Then Harry, putting his arms round Euphra's neck, and his lips close to her ear, whispered:
"Perhaps God will say my darling to you some day, Euphra; just as your mother did in your dream."She was silent. Harry looked round into her face, and saw that the tears were flowing fast.
At that instant, a gentle knock came to the door. Euphra could not reply to it. It was repeated. After another moment's delay, the door opened, and Margaret walked in.
