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第178章

Das Denken ist nur ein Traum des F黨lens, ein erstorbenes F黨len, ein blass-graues, schwaches Leben.

Thinking is only a dream of feeling; a dead feeling; a pale-grey, feeble life.

NOVALIS.--Die Lehrlinge zu Sais.

For where's no courage, there's no ruth nor mone.

Faerie Queene: vi. 7, 18.

One morning, as soon as she waked, Euphra said:

"Have I been still all the night, Margaret?"

"Quite still. Why do you ask?"

"Because I have had such a strange and vivid dream, that I feel as if I must have been to the place. It was a foolish question, though; because, of course, you would not have let me go.""I hope it did not trouble you much."

"No, not much; for though I was with the count, I did not seem to be there in the body at all, only somehow near him, and seeing him. Ican recall the place perfectly."

"Do you think it really was the place he was in at the time?""I should not wonder. But now I feel so free, so far beyond him and all his power, that I don't mind where or when I see him. He cannot hurt me now.""Could you describe the place to Mr. Sutherland? It might help him to find the count.""That's a good idea. Will you send for him?""Yes, certainly. May I tell him for what?"

"By all means."

Margaret wrote to Hugh at once, and sent the note by hand. He was at home when it arrived. He hurriedly answered it, and went to find Falconer. To his delight he was at home--not out of bed, in fact.

"Read that."

"Who is it from?"

"Miss Cameron's maid."

"It does not look like a maid's production."

"It is though. Will you come with me? You know London ten thousand times better than I do. I don't think we ought to lose a chance.""Certainly not. I will go with you. But perhaps she will not see me.""Oh! yes, she will, when I have told her about you.""It will be rather a trial to see a stranger.""A man cannot be a stranger with you ten minutes, if he only looks at you;--still less a woman."Falconer looked pleased, and smiled.

"I am glad you think so. Let us go."

When they arrived, Margaret came to them. Hugh told her that Falconer was his best friend, and one who knew London perhaps better than any other man in it. Margaret looked at him full in the face for a moment. Falconer smiled at the intensity of her still gaze.

Margaret returned the smile, and said:

"I will ask Miss Cameron to see yet."

"Thank you," was all Falconer's reply; but the tone was more than speech.

After a little while, they were shown up to Euphra's room. She had wanted to sit up, but Margaret would not let her; so she was lying on her couch. When Falconer was presented to her, he took her hand, and held it for a moment. A kind of indescribable beam broke over his face, as if his spirit smiled and the smile shone through without moving one of his features as it passed. The tears stood in his eyes. To understand all this look, one would need to know his history as I do. He laid her hand gently on her bosom, and said:

"God bless you!"

Euphra felt that God did bless her in the very words. She had been looking at Falconer all the time. It was only fifteen seconds or so; but the outcome of a life was crowded into Falconer's side of it; and the confidence of Euphra rose to meet the faithfulness of a man of God.--What words those are!--A man of God! Have I not written a revelation? Yes--to him who can read it--yes.

"I know enough of your story, Miss Cameron," he said, "to understand without any preface what you choose to tell me."Euphra began at once:

"I dreamed last night that I found myself outside the street door.

I did not know where I was going; but my feet seemed to know. They carried me, round two or three corners, into a wide, long street, which I think was Oxford-street. They carried me on into London, far beyond any quarter I knew. All I can tell further is, that Iturned to the left beside a church, on the steeple of which stood what I took for a wandering ghost just lighted there;--only I ought to tell you, that frequently in my dreams--always in my peculiar dreams--the more material and solid and ordinary things are, the more thin and ghostly they appear to me. Then I went on and on, turning left and right too many times for me to remember, till at last I came to a little, old-fashioned court, with two or three trees in it. I had to go up a few steps to enter it. I was not afraid, because I knew I was dreaming, and that my body was not there. It is a great relief to feel that sometimes; for it is often very much in the way. I opened a door, upon which the moon shone very bright, and walked up two flights of stairs into a back room.

And there I found him, doing something at a table by candlelight.

He had a sheet of paper before him; but what he was doing with it, I could not see. I tried hard; but it was of no use. The dream suddenly faded, and I awoke, and found Margaret.--Then I knew I was safe," she added, with a loving glance at her maid.

Falconer rose.

"I know the place you mean perfectly," he said. "It is too peculiar to be mistaken. Last night, let me see, how did the moon shine?--Yes. I shall be able to tell the very door, I think, or almost.""How kind of you not to laugh at me!"

"I might make a fool of myself if I laughed at any one. So Igenerally avoid it. We may as well get the good out of what we do not understand--or at least try if there be any in it. Will you come, Sutherland?"Hugh rose, and took his leave with Falconer.

"How pleased she seemed with you, Falconer!" said he, as they left the house.

"Yes, she touched me."

"Won't you go and see her again?"

"No; there is no need, except she sends for me.""It would please her--comfort her, I am sure.""She has got one of God's angels beside her, Sutherland. She doesn't want me.""What do you mean?"

"I mean that maid of hers."

A pang--of jealousy, was it?--shot through Hugh's heart. How could he see--what right had he to see anything in Margaret?

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