登陆注册
4710100000061

第61章

Certain persons have reproached the Author for knowing no more about the language of the olden times than hares do of telling stories.

Formerly these people would have been vilified, called cannibals, churls, and sycophants, and Gomorrah would have been hinted at as their natal place. But the Author consents to spare them the flowery epithets of ancient criticism; he contents himself with wishing not to be in their skin, for he would be disgusted with himself, and esteem himself the vilest of scribblers thus to calumniate a poor little book which is not in the style of any spoil-paper of these times. Ah! ill-natured wretches! you should save your breath to cool your own porridge! The Author consoles himself for his want of success in not pleasing everyone by remembering that an old Tourainian, of eternal memory, had put up with such contumely, that losing all patience, he declared in one of his prologues, that he would never more put pen to paper. Another age, but the same manners. Nothing changes, neither God above nor men below. Thereupon of the Author continues his task with a light heart, relying upon the future to reward his heavy labours.

And certes, it is a hard task to invent A HUNDRED DROLL TALES, since not only have ruffians and envious men opened fire upon him, but his friends have imitated their example, and come to him saying "Are you mad? Do you think it is possible? No man ever had in the depths of his imagination a hundred such tales. Change the hyperbolic title of your budget. You will never finish it." These people are neither misanthropes nor cannibals; whether they are ruffians I know not; but for certain they are kind, good-natured friends; friends who have the courage to tell you disagreeable things all your life along, who are rough and sharp as currycombs, under the pretence that they are yours to command, in all the mishaps of life, and in the hour of extreme unction, all their worth will be known. If such people would only keep these sad kindnesses; but they will not. When their terrors are proved to have been idle, they exclaimed triumphantly, "Ha! ha! I knew it. I always said so."

In order not to discourage fine sentiments, intolerable though they be, the Author leaves to his friends his old shoes, and in order to make their minds easy, assures them that he has, legally protected and exempt from seizure, seventy droll stories, in that reservoir of nature, his brain. By the gods! they are precious yarns, well rigged out with phrases, carefully furnished with catastrophes, amply clothed with original humour, rich in diurnal and nocturnal effects, nor lacking that plot which the human race has woven each minute, each hour, each week, month, and year of the great ecclesiastical computation, commenced at a time when the sun could scarcely see, and the moon waited to be shown her way. These seventy subjects, which he gives you leave to call bad subjects, full of tricks and impudence, lust, lies, jokes, jests, and ribaldry, joined to the two portions here given, are, by the prophet! a small instalment on the aforesaid hundred.

同类推荐
  • 华严经文义记

    华严经文义记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 圣女祠

    圣女祠

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 宋景文公笔记

    宋景文公笔记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 钦定满洲源流考

    钦定满洲源流考

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 鲁府禁方

    鲁府禁方

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 你是我浮生不变的暖阳

    你是我浮生不变的暖阳

    两岸文学PK大赛总以为真正的喜欢就是不拥有,默默地付出,为了让他幸福什么都可以做。甚至连有一天,他能发现身边有一个人一直陪伴而心生感激都不奢望。因为总是怕自己给不了最好的,也总害怕自己的喜欢对他有所束缚。守候太久也不知疲倦,认为喜欢着就是幸福。看着他身边的女孩子一个又一个的出现,看着他沉浸在假幸福和真幸福里,她就真的只能旁观吗?这样默默付出的真心能不能够被正视?面对帅气多金的追求者,自己又能不能去追求另一种幸福?很多时候,爱真的比死更冷。
  • 外科方外奇方

    外科方外奇方

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 我的还是我的

    我的还是我的

    玩玩游戏,无所事事,三心二意,像个废物一样的我已不配
  • 神医魔妃

    神医魔妃

    紫云熙,绝色之姿,拥有绝世医术,因被好友背叛,一时伤心过度,穿越架空世界。第一次见面,她六岁,他十岁,她笑说:“少年,等我长发齐腰,你娶我可好?”第二次见面,她十六岁,他二十岁,她笑说:“美男,治好你眼睛,你娶我可好?”然而,奉旨成婚,她却成了别人的云贵妃。【情节虚构,请勿模仿】
  • 旧朝昔梦梦昔人

    旧朝昔梦梦昔人

    “梦昔,别闹!我们能遇两世实属不易。这天下人再也没有我们这般缘分的了。”“缘分?两世?这个时候了,你还要自欺?还要欺我?”“别这样……我是真心爱你。”“对!你真心,就是因着你的真心,我从此触不到这天下冷暖,尝不出这世间酸甜,杀人无数,无知无觉……”
  • 末世之重生为王

    末世之重生为王

    丧尸咆哮于城市之中,变异兽占据野外。但末世之中,最危险的还是人!且看一个少年如何在末世中成长,建立一个属于自己的理想家园。
  • An Unprotected Female at the Pyramids

    An Unprotected Female at the Pyramids

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 佛说济诸方等学经

    佛说济诸方等学经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 他们这样说:中外著名教育家格言选

    他们这样说:中外著名教育家格言选

    本书所汇集的教育格言是从古今中外教育家中选取的100位教育家教育智慧的结晶,摘选了反映他们对教育问题的智慧感悟的格言700余则。这也是他们教育人生的心声——构筑成了反映其智慧结晶和人生心声的教育格言。
  • 我和我的九尾狐大人

    我和我的九尾狐大人

    一个不小心在研究过程中就发生了爆炸,还很狗血的穿了个越,这也就算了,这小胳膊小短腿的婴儿模样是什么鬼,是在逗我?被这一群动物围观又是个什么情况啊……