登陆注册
4807800000210

第210章

'PROFESSOR QUEERSPECK explained that City gentlemen would run in trains, being handcuffed together to prevent confusion or unpleasantness. For instance, trains would start every morning at eight, nine, and ten o'clock, from Camden Town, Islington, Camberwell, Hackney, and various other places in which City gentlemen are accustomed to reside. It would be necessary to have a level, but he had provided for this difficulty by proposing that the best line that the circumstances would admit of, should be taken through the sewers which undermine the streets of the metropolis, and which, well lighted by jets from the gas pipes which run immediately above them, would form a pleasant and commodious arcade, especially in winter-time, when the inconvenient custom of carrying umbrellas, now so general, could be wholly dispensed with. In reply to another question, Professor Queerspeck stated that no substitute for the purposes to which these arcades were at present devoted had yet occurred to him, but that he hoped no fanciful objection on this head would be allowed to interfere with so great an undertaking.

'MR. JOBBA produced a forcing-machine on a novel plan, for bringing joint-stock railway shares prematurely to a premium. The instrument was in the form of an elegant gilt weather-glass, of most dazzling appearance, and was worked behind, by strings, after the manner of a pantomime trick, the strings being always pulled by the directors of the company to which the machine belonged. The quicksilver was so ingeniously placed, that when the acting directors held shares in their pockets, figures denoting very small expenses and very large returns appeared upon the glass; but the moment the directors parted with these pieces of paper, the estimate of needful expenditure suddenly increased itself to an immense extent, while the statements of certain profits became reduced in the same proportion. Mr. Jobba stated that the machine had been in constant requisition for some months past, and he had never once known it to fail.

'A Member expressed his opinion that it was extremely neat and pretty. He wished to know whether it was not liable to accidental derangement? Mr. Jobba said that the whole machine was undoubtedly liable to be blown up, but that was the only objection to it.

'PROFESSOR NOGO arrived from the anatomical section to exhibit a model of a safety fire-escape, which could be fixed at any time, in less than half an hour, and by means of which, the youngest or most infirm persons (successfully resisting the progress of the flames until it was quite ready) could be preserved if they merely balanced themselves for a few minutes on the sill of their bedroom window, and got into the escape without falling into the street.

The Professor stated that the number of boys who had been rescued in the daytime by this machine from houses which were not on fire, was almost incredible. Not a conflagration had occurred in the whole of London for many months past to which the escape had not been carried on the very next day, and put in action before a concourse of persons.

'THE PRESIDENT inquired whether there was not some difficulty in ascertaining which was the top of the machine, and which the bottom, in cases of pressing emergency.

'PROFESSOR NOGO explained that of course it could not be expected to act quite as well when there was a fire, as when there was not a fire; but in the former case he thought it would be of equal service whether the top were up or down.'

With the last section our correspondent concludes his most able and faithful Report, which will never cease to reflect credit upon him for his scientific attainments, and upon us for our enterprising spirit. It is needless to take a review of the subjects which have been discussed; of the mode in which they have been examined; of the great truths which they have elicited. They are now before the world, and we leave them to read, to consider, and to profit.

The place of meeting for next year has undergone discussion, and has at length been decided, regard being had to, and evidence being taken upon, the goodness of its wines, the supply of its markets, the hospitality of its inhabitants, and the quality of its hotels.

We hope at this next meeting our correspondent may again be present, and that we may be once more the means of placing his communications before the world. Until that period we have been prevailed upon to allow this number of our Miscellany to be retailed to the public, or wholesaled to the trade, without any advance upon our usual price.

We have only to add, that the committees are now broken up, and that Mudfog is once again restored to its accustomed tranquillity, - that Professors and Members have had balls, and SOIREES, and suppers, and great mutual complimentations, and have at length dispersed to their several homes, - whither all good wishes and joys attend them, until next year!

Signed BOZ.

FULL REPORT OF THE SECOND MEETING OF THE MUDFOG ASSOCIATION FOR THEADVANCEMENT OF EVERYTHING

同类推荐
  • 经络考

    经络考

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 周易参同契注

    周易参同契注

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 赞礼地藏菩萨忏愿仪

    赞礼地藏菩萨忏愿仪

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 大乘入道次

    大乘入道次

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 典论

    典论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 俗话倾谈

    俗话倾谈

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 仙道几度是清秋

    仙道几度是清秋

    六界不知什么时候有了一个排行榜――所有长得俊美的仙君榜上有名。朱鱼第一次见洛临,心里想的是:这个人长得真俊俏!然后商枝也沉迷在了月老的美貌里。后来灼华上神见证了许多人的爱恨情仇,自以为对感情之事钻研得颇深了……结果她还是栽了个跟头。而且是永远起不来的那种。【有甜有虐,可能会写番外】――――――――――――――――【正经的简介】&神仙的寿命漫长而寂寥,在浩浩岁月里,唯有清风明月与烈酒长歌做伴。神仙也好,凡人也罢,一场风花与雪月,几度寂寥与清秋。
  • 废立之谋

    废立之谋

    此人的历史可以追溯到上一个帝国崩溃的前夕。那时,朝政腐败,宦官专权,西北军阀董卓乘机带兵入京,废黜并杀害了年仅九岁的皇帝,立八岁的陈留王为帝。董卓一把大火把东汉的都城洛阳烧为平地,迁都长安。汉司徒王允用美人计,使貂蝉离间董卓和其养子吕布,吕布愤而诛杀董卓。董卓部将李、郭汜为董卓报仇,攻破长安,将王允和其全家杀害。在一个月黑风高的夜晚,两个少年攀越城墙,侥幸脱逃。他们是王允的两个侄子,其中一个名叫王凌。从那时到现在已经过去了五十年,当年逃命的少年已功成名就,王凌在新的帝国里位高爵显,成为朝廷重臣。
  • 恋恋如故有晴天

    恋恋如故有晴天

    夏以晴离开不过几个月,再回来一切都变了,青梅竹马的恋人突然背叛她、猜忌她、他们之间只剩下冷酷和陷害。她被遗弃、被绑架、陷于生死绝境……但她却绝不愿意放弃……江黎轩:“我记不得你了,但是我不介意再爱上你一次,你接受吗?”夏以晴:“我陪你在炼狱中摸索,你看不到光,就看着我的眼睛。”--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 唐诗之美:快意淋漓歌大唐

    唐诗之美:快意淋漓歌大唐

    在泱泱大唐诗歌的花海中,作者简墨撷取30位极具特色诗人,以每 人的一句不常见而又浓缩了诗人性情的诗句为题,以一首诗为窗,轻轻打开《中国文化之美·唐诗之美:快意淋漓歌大唐》,整个大唐朝绚烂的诗意天空映入我们眼帘。这片星野时空交错,那些闪耀着灵性与才情的诗人的一生 或片段如历史剧般一幕幕倾情上演闪烁、归寂,而他们的一吟一唱却闪烁着诗意的光辉,历千百年不落。
  • 冷面侦探

    冷面侦探

    同为刑警的女友去世,唐朝伤心辞职,成为了一名私家侦探,因老同学老同事顾城的邀请,参与破一宗学校女学生死亡案,结识了侦探狂热爱好者顾亦欢,于是,开始了破解一个个奇案的故事……
  • 萌爱:误惹豪门继承人

    萌爱:误惹豪门继承人

    他们结婚,只不过是为了离婚。两年之后,江以沫跟她的初恋颜宴尘在他们共同的大学同学的婚礼上偶然相遇,那天,她在吊灯砸到颜宴尘之前,推开了他,当着自己现任丈夫夏炎烈的面。仿佛是笼罩了宿命的悲音,她深爱着颜宴尘,可是颜宴尘早已经将她忘记,她依赖着夏炎烈才能生存,可夏炎烈却只想将她从他的生活中剔出去。她一个人空寂艰难,跌跌撞撞的行走,拥有的甜蜜过往已经彻底失去,想要的灿然未来,却被一场场山呼海啸的权谋,彻底穿透。而错失了的情爱,一瞬倾覆,从此,那些旧爱新欢,终究也不过是可望不可即的镜花水月。
  • 离魂(前世今生系列)

    离魂(前世今生系列)

    即便紫菀知道吴菊人会得肺结核离世,也执意要守着他;即便爱得再深再浓,到第十三个年头来临时,一样地阻拦不住。这份感情,说大很大,说小又小到连女儿也挤不下。看着看着不由得潸然泪下,要怎样深沉的爱情才能支撑一个人度过漫长岁月?谢谢蓝紫青灰带来让人落下泪来的惊艳之作。
  • 穿越好事近

    穿越好事近

    女主穿越的当夜,便成功地制造一起恶性谋杀案,将一位长相和她相似的太监秦熙砸死,女主乘夜色黑暗,四周僻静无人,毁尸灭迹。<br/>女主装模作样的做起兼职太监,与皇帝同二位侍卫大哥再三纠缠!此文是慢热文,读者请耐心!<br/>主角是欠扁的腹黑皇帝和少抽的小白女主。嬉笑怒骂,小白,温馨文!&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
  • Virginibus Puerisque

    Virginibus Puerisque

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。