登陆注册
4810500000042

第42章

The basis of good manners is self-reliance. Necessity is the law of all who are not self-possessed. Those who are not self-possessed, obtrude, and pain us. Some men appear to feel that they belong to a Pariah caste. They fear to offend, they bend and apologize, and walk through life with a timid step. As we sometimes dream that we are in a well-dressed company without any coat, so Godfrey acts ever as if he suffered from some mortifying circumstance. The hero should find himself at home, wherever he is:

should impart comfort by his own security and good-nature to all beholders. The hero is suffered to be himself. A person of strong mind comes to perceive that for him an immunity is secured so long as he renders to society that service which is native and proper to him, -- an immunity from all the observances, yea, and duties, which society so tyrannically imposes on the rank and file of its members.

"Euripides," says Aspasia, "has not the fine manners of Sophocles;but," -- she adds good-humoredly, "the movers and masters of our souls have surely a right to throw out their limbs as carelessly as they please, on the world that belongs to them, and before the creatures they have animated." (*)(*) Landor: _Pericles and Aspasia_.

Manners require time, as nothing is more vulgar than haste.

Friendship should be surrounded with ceremonies and respects, and not crushed into corners. Friendship requires more time than poor busy men can usually command. Here comes to me Roland, with a delicacy of sentiment leading and inwrapping him like a divine cloud or holy ghost. 'Tis a great destitution to both that this should not be entertained with large leisures, but contrariwise should be balked by importunate affairs.

But through this lustrous varnish, the reality is ever shining.

'Tis hard to keep the _what_ from breaking through this pretty painting of the _how_. The core will come to the surface. Strong will and keen perception overpower old manners, and create new; and the thought of the present moment has a greater value than all the past. In persons of character, we do not remark manners, because of their instantaneousness. We are surprised by the thing done, out of all power to watch the way of it. Yet nothing is more charming than to recognize the great style which runs through the actions of such.

People masquerade before us in their fortunes, titles, offices, and connections, as academic or civil presidents, or senators, or professors, or great lawyers, and impose on the frivolous, and a good deal on each other, by these fames. At least, it is a point of prudent good manners to treat these reputations tenderly, as if they were merited. But the sad realist knows these fellows at a glance, and they know him; as when in Paris the chief of the police enters a ballroom, so many diamonded pretenders shrink and make themselves as inconspicuous as they can, or give him a supplicating look as they pass. "I had received," said a sibyl, "I had received at birth the fatal gift of penetration:" -- and these Cassandras are always born.

Manners impress as they indicate real power. A man who is sure of his point, carries a broad and contented expression, which everybody reads. And you cannot rightly train one to an air and manner, except by making him the kind of man of whom that manner is the natural expression. Nature forever puts a premium on reality.

What is done for effect, is seen to be done for effect; what is done for love, is felt to be done for love. A man inspires affection and honor, because he was not lying in wait for these. The things of a man for which we visit him, were done in the dark and the cold. Alittle integrity is better than any career. So deep are the sources of this surface-action, that even the size of your companion seems to vary with his freedom of thought. Not only is he larger, when at ease, and his thoughts generous, but everything around him becomes variable with expression. No carpenter's rule, no rod and chain, will measure the dimensions of any house or house-lot: go into the house: if the proprietor is constrained and deferring, 'tis of no importance how large his house, how beautiful his grounds, -- you quickly come to the end of all: but if the man is self-possessed, happy, and at home, his house is deep-founded, indefinitely large and interesting, the roof and dome buoyant as the sky. Under the humblest roof, the commonest person in plain clothes sits there massive, cheerful, yet formidable like the Egyptian colossi.

Neither Aristotle, nor Leibnitz, nor Junius, nor Champollion has set down the grammar-rules of this dialect, older than Sanscrit;but they who cannot yet read English, can read this. Men take each other's measure, when they meet for the first time, -- and every time they meet. How do they get this rapid knowledge, even before they speak, of each other's power and dispositions? One would say, that the persuasion of their speech is not in what they say, -- or, that men do not convince by their argument, -- but by their personality, by who they are, and what they said and did heretofore. A man already strong is listened to, and everything he says is applauded.

Another opposes him with sound argument, but the argument is scouted, until by and by it gets into the mind of some weighty person; then it begins to tell on the community.

同类推荐
  • 玉箓生神资度转经仪

    玉箓生神资度转经仪

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 根本说一切有部尼陀那

    根本说一切有部尼陀那

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 白石道人歌曲疏证

    白石道人歌曲疏证

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 春雨

    春雨

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 岘泉集

    岘泉集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 万剑神尊

    万剑神尊

    一个性命堪忧,生活在底层的家族少年,被卷入一场筹谋千年的迷局,是破?是立?万剑之下,且看一代神尊崛起!
  • 梦回大明十二年

    梦回大明十二年

    一个是大明王朝的孤傲王爷,有着一腔抱负,却始终活在烟鬼父亲的阴影中。一个是都市生活中白领剩女,终日忙碌在相亲途中,有朝一日穿回大明,却成为了宫女中最低等的都人。一个是郁郁不得志的年轻书生,从来命运不曾垂青于他,那便安心的在书斋中过这一世么?是什么际遇让他们的命运交汇在一起。一起梦回这大明十二年……
  • 纯事录

    纯事录

    一段高中时代的经典录制,白纯平凡不平淡的故事开始了。小说内容主要包括主角白纯从高一到高三的经历,尽量描摹现实不虚构,不脱离实际。此书为刍见木早期作品,是一部青春日常系小说,语言风格轻松幽默,新人新作希望大家多多支持。
  • 三国一点儿也不靠谱

    三国一点儿也不靠谱

    刘备为什么要三顾茅庐?关羽为什么要千里走单骑?曹操为什么只承认他和刘备是英雄?《隆中对》到底是什么意思?赵云为何不讨刘备喜欢?诸葛亮为什么不断对曹魏用兵?为什么天下合久必分?为什么分久又必合?为什么…… 在中国,《三国演义》使三国人物形象深入人心。 然而,历史果真如此吗?翻阅雾满拦江的这本《三国一点儿也不靠谱》,你会发现,你所知道的三国简直是一点儿也不靠谱!
  • 魔物回收计划

    魔物回收计划

    魔物图鉴封印失衡,各类魔物重出于世。人间,又要深陷水深火热之中?嗯……大概不会……
  • 别让不懂幽默害了你

    别让不懂幽默害了你

    幽默不是一种心情,而是一种看待世界的方式。脑瓜子里的智慧风波;嘴皮子上的幽默点拨;你可以不是幽默达人,但别一开口就遭人记恨。曹宁编著的《别让不懂幽默害了你》通过大量贴近生活的事例和精炼的要点,阐述幽默在生活中的作用、幽默的基本方法和技巧、与不同的人打交道时如何幽默、为了达到不同目的如何幽默、在日常生活中不同场合的幽默、谈判和外交场合中如何幽默、如何拿自己开玩笑和世界各国幽默大观等方面。《别让不懂幽默害了你》让你在任何场合开口就能抓住重点,直插心窝的幽默艺术,有影响力的人早就偷偷在用了,你还等什么?
  • 百案法律导航

    百案法律导航

    当您的合法权益受到侵犯,您是沉默不言还是拿起法律武器保护自己?我们应在什么情况下运用法律、怎样利用法律武器来保护自己?由宁夏贺兰县人民检察长董克仁同志所编著的《百案法律导航》一书,选择老百姓面临困惑最多的吃、穿、住、行、婚、债、医、劳八个方面一百多个法律案例,从案例重现、法律分析和法律链接三个角度对每个案例进行剖析。
  • 佛说大方广善巧方便经

    佛说大方广善巧方便经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 美国期刊理论研究

    美国期刊理论研究

    本书共分五部分。“基础理论略述”讲述人们对于期刊的理解。“研究方法述评”综述了美国期刊研究的成果、趋势、存在的问题及未来研究努力的方向。“论文选萃”汇编并评注了十篇美国专家、学者发表的论文,内容涵盖读者群体的构建、期刊的影响、广告、女性杂志等。“名家演讲”编译了美国期刊业内部分权威人士的重要讲话,便于读者准确了解美国期刊业的发展动态及趋势。“名刊精粹”解读美国名刊的成功之道。中国与美国的社会制度不同,期刊的定位和性质存在较大差异,但这不妨碍我们在坚持社会主义办刊方向的前提下,尽可能地学习、借鉴和吸纳先进的理念和成功的做法,以促进我国期刊产业的发展。
  • 有你的未来才很甜

    有你的未来才很甜

    婚后,颜暖发现,陆遇白对她是真好,悉知她好朋友的小日子,对她可谓是千依百顺,颜暖后知后觉才发现是上了贼船。颜暖:“陆遇白,去洗碗。”男人沉默片刻,乖乖的端着碗进了厨房。下一秒,厨房里传来“哐啷”的声响。颜暖:“陆遇白,你是有多笨?连个碗都抓不住?”陆遇白:“……”颜暖:“卧槽!你是倒了多久洗洁精?”陆遇白:“不许说脏话!”(这是一篇青梅竹马文,双洁,双暗恋。)