登陆注册
5143400000003

第3章

[Philosophy and the Daemon]

Philosophy, it has been said, is the art of bearing other people's troubles.The truest philosopher I ever heard of was a woman.She was brought into the London Hospital suffering from a poisoned leg.

The house surgeon made a hurried examination.He was a man of blunt speech.

"It will have to come off," he told her.

"What, not all of it?"

"The whole of it, I am sorry to say," growled the house surgeon.

"Nothing else for it?"

"No other chance for you whatever," explained the house surgeon.

"Ah, well, thank Gawd it's not my 'ead," observed the lady.

The poor have a great advantage over us better-off folk.Providence provides them with many opportunities for the practice of philosophy.

I was present at a "high tea" given last winter by charitable folk to a party of char-women.After the tables were cleared we sought to amuse them.One young lady, who was proud of herself as a palmist, set out to study their "lines." At sight of the first toil-worn hand she took hold of her sympathetic face grew sad.

"There is a great trouble coming to you," she informed the ancient dame.

The placid-featured dame looked up and smiled:

"What, only one, my dear?"

"Yes, only one," asserted the kind fortune-teller, much pleased, "after that all goes smoothly.""Ah," murmured the old dame, quite cheerfully, "we was all of us a short-lived family."Our skins harden to the blows of Fate.I was lunching one Wednesday with a friend in the country.His son and heir, aged twelve, entered and took his seat at the table.

"Well," said his father, "and how did we get on at school today?""Oh, all right," answered the youngster, settling himself down to his dinner with evident appetite.

"Nobody caned?" demanded his father, with--as I noticed--a sly twinkle in his eye.

"No," replied young hopeful, after reflection; "no, I don't think so," adding as an afterthought, as he tucked into beef and potatoes, "'cepting, o' course, me."[When the Daemon will not work]

It is a simple science, philosophy.The idea is that it never matters what happens to you provided you don't mind it.The weak point in the argument is that nine times out of ten you can't help minding it.

"No misfortune can harm me," says Marcus Aurelius, "without the consent of the daemon within me."The trouble is our daemon cannot always be relied upon.So often he does not seem up to his work.

"You've been a naughty boy, and I'm going to whip you," said nurse to a four-year-old criminal.

"You tant," retorted the young ruffian, gripping with both hands the chair that he was occupying, "I'se sittin' on it."His daemon was, no doubt, resolved that misfortune, as personified by nurse, should not hurt him.The misfortune, alas! proved stronger than the daemon, and misfortune, he found did hurt him.

The toothache cannot hurt us so long as the daemon within us (that is to say, our will power) holds on to the chair and says it can't.

But, sooner or later, the daemon lets go, and then we howl.One sees the idea: in theory it is excellent.One makes believe.Your bank has suddenly stopped payment.You say to yourself.

"This does not really matter."

Your butcher and your baker say it does, and insist on making a row in the passage.

You fill yourself up with gooseberry wine.You tell yourself it is seasoned champagne.Your liver next morning says it is not.

The daemon within us means well, but forgets it is not the only thing there.A man I knew was an enthusiast on vegetarianism.He argued that if the poor would adopt a vegetarian diet the problem of existence would be simpler for them, and maybe he was right.So one day he assembled some twenty poor lads for the purpose of introducing to them a vegetarian lunch.He begged them to believe that lentil beans were steaks, that cauliflowers were chops.As a third course he placed before them a mixture of carrots and savoury herbs, and urged them to imagine they were eating saveloys.

"Now, you all like saveloys," he said, addressing them, "and the palate is but the creature of the imagination.Say to yourselves, 'Iam eating saveloys,' and for all practical purposes these things will be saveloys."Some of the lads professed to have done it, but one disappointed-looking youth confessed to failure.

"But how can you be sure it was not a saveloy?" the host persisted.

"Because," explained the boy, "I haven't got the stomach-ache."It appeared that saveloys, although a dish of which he was fond, invariably and immediately disagreed with him.If only we were all daemon and nothing else philosophy would be easier.Unfortunately, there is more of us.

Another argument much approved by philosophy is that nothing matters, because a hundred years hence, say, at the outside, we shall be dead.

同类推荐
  • 竹书孔子诗论

    竹书孔子诗论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 三个火枪手

    三个火枪手

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 台湾诗钞

    台湾诗钞

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 佛果击节录

    佛果击节录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 皇朝经世文编_2

    皇朝经世文编_2

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 父母应该为孩子做的50件事

    父母应该为孩子做的50件事

    有愈来愈多的教育家都说:“父母不应该为孩子做太多的事情了,因为溺爱,会害了孩子。”可是我们为什么还要列举出“父母一定要为孩子做的50件事情呢”?答案很简单,就是因为不想溺爱孩子,所以有些事情才不得不做。我们不为孩子包办任何事情,但是我们要教给孩子自己处理事情的能力;我们不想主宰孩子的人生,但是要让孩子学会自己判断、自己选择;我们要给孩子智慧的头脑、美丽的心灵和健全的人格,难道这些事情父母不需要去做吗?
  • 雾都孤儿

    雾都孤儿

    《雾都孤儿》是英国作家狄更斯于1838年出版的写实小说。以雾都伦敦为背景,讲述了一个孤儿悲惨的身世及遭遇,主人公奥立弗在孤儿院长大,经历学徒生涯,艰苦逃难,误入贼窝,又被迫与狠毒的凶徒为伍,历尽无数辛酸,最后在善良人的帮助下,查明身世并获得了幸福。如同狄更斯的其他小说,本书揭露许多当时的社会问题,如救济院、童工以及帮派吸收青少年参与犯罪等。
  • 末世之系统是只喵

    末世之系统是只喵

    黑猫舔舔爪子,喵:“末世系统已重启,欢迎进入毁灭进行时!”
  • 性情集

    性情集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 历史不忍细看大全集

    历史不忍细看大全集

    闯入历史尘封千年的禁地,窥探谁都不曾告诉过你的秘闻轶事!你知道康熙登基原来还仰仗一位德国人吗?你知道皇子们每日的生活有多苦吗?你知道中国历史上最响的一个马屁是谁拍的吗?你知道皇帝吃饭要有多少讲究吗?你知道秦桧与岳飞之间到底是何关系吗?
  • 快穿:拯救炮灰计划

    快穿:拯救炮灰计划

    顾暮幽,一对中二父母取的中二名字。活到了二十五岁,人生毫无意义。她遇见了一只猫,猫说可以让她回到过去重来一次。她点头答应后……顾暮幽:肥猫,你为什么不告诉我任务里的人都是一群奇葩!肥猫:林子大了啥鸟都有,这不是很正常的嘛~被忽悠去地府帮话痨孟婆做助手,上有傲娇幽冥之王,下有神经兮兮牛头马面,顾暮幽表示自己需要吃药了……(女主金手指逐渐加粗,没有男主没有男主!拆cp!搞事情!就是女主的第一目标,哦耶~)
  • 培养你的完美女孩

    培养你的完美女孩

    本书通过众多的教育事例,向渴望将女儿培养成为完美女孩的父母们全面介绍了教育策略、培养方法,并针对女孩独特的个性特征、心理特征、性别特征、成长过程提出了切实可行的教育建议和指导。《培养你的完美女孩》中数十种教育技巧和培养方法的提供让父母们对女儿的培养水到渠成,帮助父母们将女儿培养成为真正意义上的完美女孩。
  • 剧话

    剧话

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 奇门宝鉴御定

    奇门宝鉴御定

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 师姐是个王爷

    师姐是个王爷

    杜若从未想过,在生死攸关时,脑海里只剩下“饿”一个字。好饿好饿,杜若真的好饿。而厨房里氤氲的热气轻轻笼罩着杜若,温热的蒸汽熏的脸变得酡红。香汗从额头滑落鼻尖。心中无力吐槽:想她堂堂第一杀手,竟因为贫血一朝穿越来异世,还变成被赶出家门的养女!现在,只能到这无怨峰来混混日子了……上一世忙活了一辈子,这一世只想安安稳稳度过了。抱住金大腿师姐,做做菜,时而练练武,佛系并庸庸碌碌地过完一辈子,顺便再做一朵盛世白莲花,人生完美了!瞧见大腿师姐总是暗晦地看着她,杜若更是溜须拍马,义不容辞!第二日,无怨峰众人皆知:逍遥院谪仙般的长师姐,竟想找个道侣?众人皆惊讶。杜若却表示后怕,她的师姐不知何时变成了一个温润如玉的少年,一把拎住她的衣领,邪魅笑道:“师妹,别跑,不是说要‘永不分离’的吗?”