Here, meanwhile, my good mother kept me company; and what should we read of one day but the marriage of Mrs.Hoggarty and the Rev.Grimes Wapshot! My mother, who never loved Mrs.H., now said that she should repent all her life having allowed me to spend so much of my time with that odious ungrateful woman; and added that she and I too were justly punished for worshipping the mammon of unrighteousness and forgetting our natural feelings for the sake of my aunt's paltry lucre."Well, Amen!" said I."This is the end of all our fine schemes! My aunt's money and my aunt's diamond were the causes of my ruin, and now they are clear gone, thank Heaven! and I hope the old lady will be happy; and I must say I don't envy the Rev.Grimes Wapshot." So we put Mrs.Hoggarty out of our thoughts, and made ourselves as comfortable as might be.
Rich and great people are slower in making Christians of their children than we poor ones, and little Lord Poynings was not christened until the month of June.A duke was one godfather, and Mr.Edmund Preston, the State Secretary, another; and that kind Lady Jane Preston, whom I have before spoken of, was the godmother to her nephew.She had not long been made acquainted with my wife's history; and both she and her sister loved her heartily and were very kind to her.Indeed, there was not a single soul in the house, high or low, but was fond of that good sweet creature; and the very footmen were as ready to serve her as they were their own mistress.
"I tell you what, sir," says one of them."You see, Tit my boy, I'm a connyshure, and up to snough; and if ever I see a lady in my life, Mrs.Titmarsh is one.I can't be fimiliar with her--I've tried--""Have you, sir?" said I.
"Don't look so indignant! I can't, I say, be fimiliar with her as I am with you.There's a somethink in her, a jenny-squaw, that haws me, sir! and even my Lord's own man, that 'as 'ad as much success as any gentleman in Europe--he says that, cuss him--""Mr.Charles," says I, "tell my Lord's own man that, if he wants to keep his place and his whole skin, he will never address a single word to that lady but such as a servant should utter in the presence of his mistress; and take notice that I am a gentleman, though a poor one, and will murder the first man who does her wrong!"Mr.Charles only said "Gammin!" to this: but psha! in bragging about my own spirit, I forgot to say what great good fortune my dear wife's conduct procured for me.
On the christening-day, Mr.Preston offered her first a five, and then a twenty-pound note; but she declined either; but she did not decline a present that the two ladies made her together, and this was no other than MY RELEASE FROM THE FLEET.Lord Tiptoff's lawyer paid every one of the bills against me, and that happy christening- day made me a free man.Ah! who shall tell the pleasure of that day, or the merry dinner we had in Mary's room at Lord Tiptoff's house, when my Lord and my Lady came upstairs to shake hands with me!
"I have been speaking to Mr.Preston," says my Lord, "the gentleman with whom you had the memorable quarrel, and he has forgiven it, although he was in the wrong, and promises to do something for you.We are going down, meanwhile, to his house at Richmond; and be sure, Mr.Titmarsh, I will not fail to keep you in his mind.""MRS.Titmarsh will do that," says my Lady; "for Edmund is woefully smitten with her!" And Mary blushed, and I laughed, and we were all very happy: and sure enough there came from Richmond a letter to me, stating that I was appointed fourth clerk in the Tape and Sealing-wax Office, with a salary of 80L.per annum.
Here perhaps my story ought to stop; for I was happy at last, and have never since, thank Heaven! known want: but Gus insists that I should add how I gave up the place in the Tape and Sealing-wax Office, and forwhat reason.That excellent Lady Jane Preston is long gone, and so is Mr.P- off in an apoplexy, and there is no harm now in telling the story.
The fact was, that Mr.Preston had fallen in love with Mary in a much more serious way than any of us imagined; for I do believe he invited his brother-in-law to Richmond for no other purpose than to pay court to his son's nurse.And one day, as I was coming post- haste to thank him for the place he had procured for me, being directed by Mr.Charles to the "scrubbery," as he called it, which led down to the river--there, sure enough, I found Mr.Preston, on his knees too, on the gravel-walk, and before him Mary, holding the little lord.
"Dearest creature!" says Mr.Preston, "do but listen to me, and I'll make your husband consul at Timbuctoo! He shall never know of it, I tell you: he CAN never know of it.I pledge you my word as a Cabinet Minister! Oh, don't look at me in that arch way: by heavens, your eyes kill me!"Mary, when she saw me, burst out laughing, and ran down the lawn; my Lord making a huge crowing, too, and holding out his little fat hands.Mr.Preston, who was a heavy man, was slowly getting up, when, catching a sight of me looking as fierce as the crater of Mount Etna,--he gave a start back and lost his footing, and rolled over and over, walloping into the water at the garden's edge.It was not deep, and he came bubbling and snorting out again in as much fright as fury.
"You d-d ungrateful villain!" says he, "what do you stand there laughing for?""I'm waiting your orders for Timbuctoo, sir," says I, and laughed fit to die; and so did my Lord Tiptoff and his party, who joined us on the lawn: and Jeames the footman came forward and helped Mr.Preston out of the water.
"Oh, you old sinner!" says my Lord, as his brother-in-law came up the slope."Will that heart of yours be always so susceptible, you romantic, apoplectic, immoral man?"Mr.Preston went away, looking blue with rage, and ill-treated his wife for a whole month afterwards.
