"Sir," said Mr.Perkins, "you have known for some time past the nature of my political opinions, and the intimacy which I have had the honour to form with one--with some of the leading members of the Liberal party." (A grin from Mr.Crampton.) "When first, by your kindness, I was promised the clerkship in the Tape and Sealing-Wax Office, my opinions were not formed as they are now; and having taken the advice of the gentlemen with whom I act,"--(an enormous grin)--"the advice, I say, of the gentlemen with whom I act, and the counsel likewise of my own conscience, I am compelled, with the deepest grief, to say, my dear uncle, that I--I--""That you--what, sir?" exclaimed little Mr.Crampton, bouncing off his chair."You don't mean to say that you are such a fool as to decline the place?""I do decline the place," said Perkins, whose blood rose at the word "fool." "As a man of honour, I cannot take it.""Not take it! and how are you to live? On the rent of that house of yours? For, by gad, sir, if you give up the clerkship, I never will give you a shilling.""It cannot be helped," said Mr.Perkins, looking as much like a martyr as he possibly could, and thinking himself a very fine fellow."I have talents, sir, which I hope to cultivate; and am member of a profession by which a man may hope to rise to the very highest offices of the State.""Profession, talents, offices of the State! Are you mad, John Perkins, that you come to me with such insufferable twaddle as this?
Why, do you think if you HAD been capable of rising at the bar, Iwould have taken so much trouble about getting you a place? No, sir; you are too fond of pleasure, and bed, and tea-parties, and small-talk, and reading novels, and playing the flute, and writing sonnets.You would no more rise at the bar than my messenger, sir.
It was because I knew your disposition--that hopeless, careless, irresolute good-humour of yours--that I had determined to keep you out of danger, by placing you in a snug shelter, where the storms of the world would not come near you.You must have principles forsooth! and you must marry Miss Gorgon, of course: and by the time you have gone ten circuits, and had six children, you will have eaten up every shilling of your wife's fortune, and be as briefless as you are now.Who the deuce has put all this nonsense into your head? I think I know."Mr.Perkins's ears tingled as these hard words saluted them; and he scarcely knew whether he ought to knock his uncle down, or fall at his feet and say, "Uncle, I have been a, fool, and I know it." The fact is, that in his interview with Miss Gorgon and her aunt in the morning, when he came to tell them of the resolution he had formed to give up the place, both the ladies and John himself had agreed, with a thousand rapturous tears and exclamations, that he was one of the noblest young men that ever lived, had acted as became himself, and might with perfect propriety give up the place, his talents being so prodigious that no power on earth could hinder him from being Lord Chancellor.Indeed, John and Lucy had always thought the clerkship quite beneath him, and were not a little glad, perhaps, at finding a pretext for decently refusing it.But as Perkins was a young gentleman whose candour was such that he was always swayed by the opinions of the last speaker, he did begin to feel now the truth of his uncle's statements, however disagreeable they might be.
Mr.Crampton continued:--
"I think I know the cause of your patriotism.Has not William Pitt Scully, Esquire, had something to do with it?"Mr.Perkins COULD not turn any redder than he was, but confessed with deep humiliation that "he HAD consulted Mr.Scully among other friends."Mr.Crampton smiled--drew a letter from a heap before him, and tearing off the signature, handed over the document to his nephew.
It contained the following paragraphs:--
"Hawksby has sounded Scully: we can have him any day we want him.
He talks very big at present, and says he would not take anything under a...This is absurd.He has a Yorkshire nephew coming up to town, and wants a place for him.There is one vacant in the Tape Office, he says: have you not a promise of it?""I can't--I can't believe it," said John; "this, sir, is some weak invention of the enemy.Scully is the most honourable man breathing.""Mr.Scully is a gentleman in a very fair way to make a fortune,"answered Mr.Crampton."Look you, John--it is just as well for your sake that I should give you the news a few weeks before the papers, for I don't want you to be ruined, if I can help it, as I don't wish to have you on my hands.We know all the particulars of Scully's history.He was a Tory attorney at Oldborough; he was jilted by the present Lady Gorgon, turned Radical, and fought Sir George in his own borough.Sir George would have had the peerage he is dying for, had he not lost that second seat (by-the-by, my Lady will be here in five minutes), and Scully is now quite firm there.Well, my dear lad, we have bought your incorruptible Scully.Look here,"--and Mr.Crampton produced three Morning Posts.
"'THE HONOURABLE HENRY HAWKSBY'S DINNER-PARTY.--Lord So-and-So--Duke of So-and-So--W.Pitt Scully, Esq.M.P.'
"Hawksby is our neutral, our dinner-giver.
"'LADY DIANA DOLDRUM'S ROUT.--W.Pitt Scully, Esq,' again.
"'THE EARL OF MANTRAP'S GRAND DINNER.'--A Duke--four Lords--'Mr.Scully, and Sir George Gorgon.'"
"Well, but I don't see how you have bought him; look at his votes.""My dear John," said Mr.Crampton, jingling his watch-seals very complacently, "I am letting you into fearful secrets.The great common end of party is to buy your opponents--the great statesman buys them for nothing."Here the attendant genius of Mr.Crampton made his appearance, and whispered something, to which the little gentleman said, "Show her Ladyship in,"--when the attendant disappeared.
"John," said Mr.Crampton, with a very queer smile, "you can't stay in this room while Lady Gorgon is with me; but there is a little clerk's room behind the screen there, where you can wait until Icall you."
John retired, and as he closed the door of communication, strange to say, little Mr.Crampton sprang up and said, "Confound the young ninny, he has shut the door!"Mr.Crampton then, remembering that he wanted a map in the next room, sprang into it, left the door half open in coming out, and was in time to receive Her Ladyship with smiling face as she, ushered by Mr.Strongitharm, majestically sailed in.
