I can say in my own favour that I was as a boy humane, but I owed this entirely to the instruction and example of my sisters.I doubt indeed whether humanity is a natural or innate quality.I was very fond of collecting eggs, but I never took more than a single egg out of a bird's nest, except on one single occasion, when I took all, not for their value, but from a sort of bravado.
I had a strong taste for angling, and would sit for any number of hours on the bank of a river or pond watching the float; when at Maer (The house of his uncle, Josiah Wedgwood.) I was told that I could kill the worms with salt and water, and from that day I never spitted a living worm, though at the expense probably of some loss of success.
Once as a very little boy whilst at the day school, or before that time, I acted cruelly, for I beat a puppy, I believe, simply from enjoying the sense of power; but the beating could not have been severe, for the puppy didnot howl, of which I feel sure, as the spot was near the house.This act lay heavily on my conscience, as is shown by my remembering the exact spot where the crime was committed.It probably lay all the heavier from my love of dogs being then, and for a long time afterwards, a passion.Dogs seemed to know this, for I was an adept in robbing their love from their masters.
I remember clearly only one other incident during this year whilst at Mr.Case's daily school,--namely, the burial of a dragoon soldier; and it is surprising how clearly I can still see the horse with the man's empty boots and carbine suspended to the saddle, and the firing over the grave.This scene deeply stirred whatever poetic fancy there was in me.
In the summer of 1818 I went to Dr.Butler's great school in Shrewsbury, and remained there for seven years still Midsummer 1825, when I was sixteen years old.I boarded at this school, so that I had the great advantage of living the life of a true schoolboy; but as the distance was hardly more than a mile to my home, I very often ran there in the longer intervals between the callings over and before locking up at night.This, I think, was in many ways advantageous to me by keeping up home affections and interests.I remember in the early part of my school life that I often had to run very quickly to be in time, and from being a fleet runner was generally successful; but when in doubt I prayed earnestly to God to help me, and I well remember that I attributed my success to the prayers and not to my quick running, and marvelled how generally I was aided.
I have heard my father and elder sister say that I had, as a very young boy, a strong taste for long solitary walks; but what I thought about I know not.I often became quite absorbed, and once, whilst returning to school on the summit of the old fortifications round Shrewsbury, which had been converted into a public foot-path with no parapet on one side, I walked off and fell to the ground, but the height was only seven or eight feet.Nevertheless the number of thoughts which passed through my mind during this very short, but sudden and wholly unexpected fall, was astonishing, and seem hardly compatible with what physiologists have, I believe, proved about each thought requiring quite an appreciable amountof time.
Nothing could have been worse for the development of my mind than Dr.Butler's school, as it was strictly classical, nothing else being taught, except a little ancient geography and history.The school as a means of education to me was simply a blank.During my whole life I have been singularly incapable of mastering any language.Especial attention was paid to verse-making, and this I could never do well.I had many friends, and got together a good collection of old verses, which by patching together, sometimes aided by other boys, I could work into any subject.Much attention was paid to learning by heart the lessons of the previous day; this I could effect with great facility, learning forty or fifty lines of Virgil or Homer, whilst I was in morning chapel; but this exercise was utterly useless, for every verse was forgotten in forty-eight hours.I was not idle, and with the exception of versification, generally worked conscientiously at my classics, not using cribs.The sole pleasure I ever received from such studies, was from some of the odes of Horace, which I admired greatly.
When I left the school I was for my age neither high nor low in it; and I believe that I was considered by all my masters and by my father as a very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard in intellect.To my deep mortification my father once said to me, "You care for nothing but shooting, dogs, and rat- catching, and you will be a disgrace to yourself and all your family." But my father, who was the kindest man I ever knew and whose memory I love with all my heart, must have been angry and somewhat unjust when he used such words.
