登陆注册
5167500000040

第40章

"You're right--of course," she said unsteadily."Only I--I thought maybe I could fight it out myself.But you'll have to know it--there's a taint upon me."I caught in Drake's swift glance the echo of my own thrill of apprehension for her sanity.

"Yes," she said, now quietly."Some new and alien thing within my heart, my brain, my soul.It came to me from Norhala when we rode the flying block, and--he--sealed upon me when I was in--his"--again she crimsoned, "embrace."And as we gazed at her, incredulously:

"A thing that urges me to forget you two--and Martin --and all the world I've known.That tries to pull me from you--from all--to drift untroubled in some vast calm filled with an ordered ecstasy of peace.And whose calling I want, God help me, oh, so desperately to heed!

"It whispered to me first," she said, "from Norhala--when she put her arm around me.It whispered and then seemed to float from her and cover me like--like a veil, and from head to foot.It was a quietness and peace that held within it a happiness at one and the same time utterly tranquil and utterly free.

"I seemed to be at the doorway to unknown ecstasies --and the life I had known only a dream--and you, all of you--even Martin, dreams within a dream.You weren't --real--and you did not--matter.""Hypnotism," muttered Drake, as she paused.

"No." She shook her head."No--more than that.The wonder of it grew--and grew.I thrilled with it.I remember nothing of that ride, saw nothing--except that once through the peace enfolding me pierced warning that Martin was in peril, and I broke through to see him clutching Norhala and to see floating up in her eyes death for him.

"And I saved him--and again forgot.Then, when I saw that beautiful, flaming Shape--I felt no terror, no fear--only a tremendous--joyous--anticipation, as though--as though--" She faltered, hung her head, then leaving that sentence unfinished, whispered: "and when--it--lifted me it was as though I had come at last out of some endless black ocean of despair into the full sun of paradise.""Ruth!" cried Drake, and at the pain in his cry she winced.

"Wait," she said, and held up a little, tremulous hand.

"You asked--and now you must listen."

She was silent; and when once more she spoke her voice was low, curiously rhythmic; her eyes rapt:

"I was free--free from every human fetter of fear or sorrow or love or hate; free even of hope--for what was there to hope for when everything desirable was mine?

And I was elemental; one with the eternal things yet fully conscious that I was--I.

"It was as though I were the shining shadow of a star afloat upon the breast of some still and hidden woodland pool; as though I were a little wind dancing among the mountain tops; a mist whirling down a quiet glen; a shimmering lance of the aurora pulsing in the high solitudes.

"And there was music--strange and wondrous music and terrible, but not terrible to me--who was part of it.

Vast chords and singing themes that rang like clusters of little swinging stars and harmonies that were like the very voice of infinite law resolving within itself all discords.

And all--all--passionless, yet--rapturous.

"Out of the Thing that held me, out from its fires pulsed vitality--a flood of inhuman energy in which I was bathed.And it was as though this energy were--reassembling me, fitting me even closer to the elemental things, changing me fully into them.

"I felt the little tendrils touching, caressing--then came the shots.Awakening was--dreadful, a struggling back from drowning.I saw Martin--blasted.I drove the--the spell away from me, tore it away.

"And, O Walter--Dick--it hurt--it hurt--and for a breath before I ran to him it was like--like coming from a world in which there was no disorder, no sorrow, no doubts, a rhythmic, harmonious world of light and music, into--into a world that was like a black and dirty kitchen.

"And it's there," her voice rose, hysterically."It's still within me--whispering, whispering; urging me away from you, from Martin, from every human thing; bidding me give myself up, surrender my humanity.

"Its seal," she sobbed."No--HIS seal! An alien consciousness sealed within me, that tries to make the human me a slave--that waits to overcome my will--and if Isurrender gives me freedom, an incredible freedom--but makes me, being still human, a--monster."She hid her face in her hands, quivering.

"If I could sleep," she wailed."But I'm afraid to sleep.

I think I shall never sleep again.For sleeping how do Iknow what I may be when I wake?"

I caught Drake's eye; he nodded.I slipped my hand down into the medicine-case, brought forth a certain potent and tasteless combination of drugs which I carry upon explorations.

I dropped a little into her cup, then held it to her lips.

Like a child, unthinking, she obeyed and drank.

"But I'll not surrender." Her eyes were tragic."Never think it! I can win--don't you know I can?""Win?" Drake dropped down beside her, drew her toward him.

"Bravest girl I've known--of course you'll win.

And remember this--nine-tenths of what you're thinking now is purely over-wrought nerves and weariness.You'll win--and we'll win, never doubt it.""I don't," she said."I know it--oh, it will be hard--but Iwill--I will--"

同类推荐
  • 佛说金色王经

    佛说金色王经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 仁学

    仁学

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 长安亲故

    长安亲故

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 太上玄一真人说劝诫法_轮妙经

    太上玄一真人说劝诫法_轮妙经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 间书

    间书

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 2015年中国微型小说排行榜

    2015年中国微型小说排行榜

    《2015年中国微型小说排行榜》由国内权威微型小说刊物《微型小说选刊》杂志从2015年全国公开发表的数万篇微型小说沙里淘金,精选而成。不仅萃集了秦德龙、刘国芳、凌鼎年、刘建超等众位传统名家的力作,同时也收入了游睿、徐均生、三石等文坛新锐作家的最新作品。
  • 洞穴玄机之被遗弃的外星人

    洞穴玄机之被遗弃的外星人

    本书是青少年探险故事,在探险的过程中,发现了各种奇特的洞穴生物、变异的生物、寄生虫、含硫酸的水滴,还有未知的恐怖怪物……
  • 古典女孩

    古典女孩

    宋辞的父亲是位教古典文学的教授,也许是受了父亲的影响,她从小就会背100多首唐诗宋词,父亲每次带她到朋友家去,朋友就逗她,给伯伯背一首诗。宋辞就说你随便点一首诗。朋友点了几首不常背的诗,宋辞出口成章,很流利地就背完了。朋友赞不绝口,这时父亲的脸上溢满了笑容和自豪。
  • 末世鬼泣

    末世鬼泣

    有人说,他是行走在废墟世界的恶魔;也有人说,他是光明派来屠戮黑暗的折翼天使……外星文明突然入侵,人类文明经历重大考验与变革,机甲时代与变异时代来临。叶小白意外获得域外生命星球的神秘能量,在岌岌可危的种族之战中,他成为了那一缕黎明前的曙光。
  • 安妮的异世冒险

    安妮的异世冒险

    中西混血儿安妮穿越到了剑与魔法的葛森大陆,作为穿越人士,金手指必不可少,运气也是必不可少的。空难了,没死,幸运穿越了,但,掉落在魔兽森林,性命堪忧。活着离开魔兽森林,LUCK!但,因国籍而被学校拒收,且欠下佣兵债务,还有比她更悲催的穿越人士吗?带着打折的金手指,安妮开始了她在葛森大陆的冒险。生活,你敢再激情点吗?
  • 天堂居住所

    天堂居住所

    你想知道曾经的自己是哪一个历史名人吗?你想再次轮回吗?天堂都可以带给你!炎帝黄帝,嬴政,伊丽莎白一世...各种历史人物都住在我们大天堂里,想认识他们吗?天堂也是凡世,一样需要从零做起,一步一步获得你想要的一切。大女主文!---本文世界框架较大,可能章节预期会比较长。反转剧情较多,有虐有甜,希望各位读者喜欢。(作者存稿已经30万字,不存在太监,请各位放心追文!)
  • 美漫大幻想

    美漫大幻想

    一个穿越者成为变种人的挣扎史。PS1:第三卷恢复记忆。PS2:漫威,DC都有,以漫威为主线,DC为辅。PS3:影视为主,漫画为辅。****新书已发,《九星毒奶》,欢迎品读。
  • 凤神临世

    凤神临世

    她,是现代杀手界的无冕之皇,是商界不败的神话.她,冷酷冷情却只为一人倾尽满腔柔情.然而,痴情总被无情伤.含恨重生,指天而誓:绝不再爱!凤灵大陆,四国鼎立,女主沉浮.她一步步走到别人难以企及的地位,伴随着一个男子的出现,渐渐打破了她心中的坚冰.凤神的远古传说,四国的战乱纷争,未知的黑暗势力,是冥冥之中自有注定?还是前世今生因果循环?郑重承诺:绝不弃文!----------------------------
  • 第一弃后

    第一弃后

    她是窄巷之女,被太子夺爱与青梅竹马分开。后被奸人设计废除皇后之位打入冷宫,殊不知这一切均在她的算计之中。一代弃后,统帅六宫,造惊世传奇。
  • 文学史理论

    文学史理论

    本书以历史美学的文艺学方法为指导,汲取现当代外国文艺学新方法,从文学史研究的对象和性质、文学史研究的方法、文学史的时间之维与分期、文学史的文体分类及其流变、文学史的文本与人本、文学史与创作主体的心态、文学史与文学的传播、文学史与文学史料、文学史著的形态等多个维度对文学史理论的诸多基本问题作了较为全面而深入的考察,探讨文学史家如何以自己的文学观、文学史观去建构充满生命活力的文学史。