登陆注册
5167700000046

第46章

``I've had that joy only since my husband died.It's as well that I didn't have it sooner.One is the better for having served an apprenticeship at self-repression and at pretending to virtues one has not.Only those who earn their freedom know how to use it.If I had had it ten or fifteen years ago I'd have been an intolerable tyrant, making everyone around me unhappy and therefore myself.The ideal world would be one where everyone was born free and never knew anything else.

Then, no one being afraid or having to serve, everyone would have to be considerate in order to get himself tolerated.''

``I wonder if I really ever shall be able to earn a living?'' sighed Mildred.

``You must decide that whatever you can make shall be for you a living,'' said the older woman.``I have lived on my fixed income, which is under two thousand a year.And I am ready to do it again rather than tolerate anything or anybody that does not suit me.''

``I shall have to be extremely careful,'' laughed Mildred.``I shall be a dreadful hypocrite with you.''

Mrs.Brindley smiled; but underneath, Mildred saw --or perhaps felt--that her new friend was indeed not one to be trifled with.She said:

``You and I will get on.We'll let each other alone.

We have to be more or less intimate, but we'll never be familiar.''

After a time she discovered that Mrs.Brindley's first name was Cyrilla, but Mrs.Brindley and Miss Stevens they remained to each other for a long time--until circumstances changed their accidental intimacy into enduring friendship.Not to anticipate, in the course of that same conversation Mildred said:

``If there is anything about me--about my life--that you wish me to explain, I shall be glad to do so.''

``I know all I wish to know,'' replied Cyrilla Brindley.``Your face and your manner and your way of speaking tell me all the essentials.''

``Then you must not think it strange when I say Iwish no one to know anything about me.''

``It will be impossible for you entirely to avoid meeting people,'' said Cyrilla.``You must have some simple explanation about yourself, or you will attract attention and defeat your object.''

``Lead people to believe that I'm an orphan--perhaps of some obscure family--who is trying to get up in the world.That is practically the truth.''

Mrs.Brindley laughed.``Quite enough for New York,'' said she.``It is not interested in facts.All the New-Yorker asks of you is, `Can you pay your bills and help me pay mine?' ''

Competent men are rare; but, thanks to the advantage of the male sex in having to make the struggle for a living, they are not so rare as competent women.

Mrs.Brindley was the first competent woman Mildred had ever known.She had spent but a few hours with her before she began to appreciate what a bad atmosphere she had always breathed--bad for a woman who has her way to make in the world, or indeed for any woman not willing to be content as mere more or less shiftless, more or less hypocritical and pretentious, dependent and parasite.Mrs.Brindley--well bred and well educated--knew all the little matters which Mildred had been taught to regard as the whole of a lady's education.But Mildred saw that these trifles were but a trifling incident in Mrs.Brindley's knowledge.She knew real things, this woman who was a thorough-going housekeeper and who trebled her income by giving music lessons a few hours a day to such pupils as she thought worth the teaching.When she spoke, she always said something one of the first things noticed by Mildred, who, being too lazy to think except as her naturally good mind insisted on exercising itself, usually talked simply to kill time and without any idea of getting anywhere.But while Cyrilla--without in the least intending it--roused her to a painful sense of her own limitations, she did not discourage her.Mildred also began to feel that in this new atmosphere of ideas, of work, of accomplishment, she would rapidly develop into a different sort of person.It was extremely fortunate for her, thought she, that she was living with such a person as Cyrilla Brindley.In the old atmosphere, or with any taint of it, she would have been unable to become a serious person.She would simply have dawdled along, twaddling about ``art'' and seriousness and careers and sacrifice, content with the amateur's methods and the amateur's results--and deluding herself that she was making progress.Now--It was as different as public school from private school --public school where the mind is rudely stimulated, private school where it is sedulously mollycoddled.She had come out of the hothouse into the open.

At first she thought that Jennings was to be as great a help to her as Cyrilla Brindley.Certainly if ever there was a man with the air of a worker and a place with the air of a workshop, that man and that place were Eugene Jennings and his studio in Carnegie Hall.

When Mildred entered, on that Saturday morning, at exactly half-past ten, Jennings--in a plain if elegant house-suit--looked at her, looked at the clock, stopped a girl in the midst of a burst of tremulous noisy melody.

``That will do, Miss Bristow,'' said he.``You have never sung it worse.You do not improve.Another lesson like this, and we shall go back and begin all over again.''

The girl, a fattish, ``temperamental'' blonde, burst into tears.

``Kindly take that out into the hall,'' said Jennings coldly.``Your time is up.We cannot waste Miss Stevens's time with your hysterics.''

Miss Bristow switched from tears to fury.``You brute! You beast!'' she shrieked, and flung herself out of the room, slamming the door after her.Jennings took a book from a pile upon a table, opened it, and set it on a music-stand.Evidently Miss Bristow was forgotten--indeed, had passed out of his mind at half-past ten exactly, not to enter it again until she should appear at ten on Monday morning.He said to Mildred:

``Now, we'll see what you can do.Begin.''

同类推荐
  • 太上玄一真人说妙通转神入定经

    太上玄一真人说妙通转神入定经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 玄牝之门赋注释

    玄牝之门赋注释

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 德隅斋画品

    德隅斋画品

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 石经考异

    石经考异

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 鸿雁之什

    鸿雁之什

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 天怮

    天怮

    何为因?何谓果?何为缘?何若悲?十六年,一朝成空。既然,你说我为魔,则我便化身成魔!正魔之分已扭曲,那我便以我染血之手,重划修道秩序!
  • King John

    King John

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 末世鬼泣

    末世鬼泣

    有人说,他是行走在废墟世界的恶魔;也有人说,他是光明派来屠戮黑暗的折翼天使……外星文明突然入侵,人类文明经历重大考验与变革,机甲时代与变异时代来临。叶小白意外获得域外生命星球的神秘能量,在岌岌可危的种族之战中,他成为了那一缕黎明前的曙光。
  • 名人背后的悬案(学生最想知道的未解之谜)

    名人背后的悬案(学生最想知道的未解之谜)

    人们不断窥探着名人,也窥探着他们背后的历史。走进他们的世界,了解他们身上发生的种种传奇的故事,继而开启整个历史文明的大门。只要你用心,就会发现若干年前的未解谜团、故事背后的故事将指引着我们不断探求历史的真相。《学生最想知道的未解之谜:名人背后的悬案》分别从帝王元首、将相名流、艺苑文界、逸事传说、遗迹寻觅五个视角,阐述名人背后未解的谜题。探索未知,寻求历史的真相。只要我们秉承着不断探索的信念,那么层层历史的面纱将被揭开。还原历史,解读历史真实人物的是非曲折,从《学生最想知道的未解之谜:名人背后的悬案》开始……
  • 病榻寤言

    病榻寤言

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Penelope's Experiences in Scotland

    Penelope's Experiences in Scotland

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 总裁的小甜心

    总裁的小甜心

    上官娃娃,人如其名,身材娇小玲珑,长相甜美可爱,酷爱甜食,更是一位出色的甜点师。皇甫瑾,皇甫集团唯一合法继承人,他聪明睿智,冷酷俊美,是一个将真心深深掩埋的“无情王子”。而他,温文儒雅,阳光率性,是一名世界级著名的小提琴演奏家。从小爱慕娃娃的他能否与娃娃最终开花结果呢?东方复航,性情冰冷,视女人为玩物,结果却深陷在一个女人手里,他爱上她的甜,恋上她的美,可她属于他么?当甜美可爱的她将一盘美味可口的蛋糕砸向冷酷俊美的他时,两个本无交集的人又会发生些什么样的故事呢?文中片段:某男皱着好看的眉头叫道:“你给我站着别动,听到没有。”某女无辜的眨巴着大眼,不屑的说道:“你让我站着我就站着,岂不是很没面子吗?”“该死的,你听不懂人话么?”某男火大的看着某个小女人流血的莹白小脚。“你是人么"某女再次粉无辜的问道。“你、、、、”某男不知该说什么,心里直道这小东西不气他心里不爽是么?几个大步走到她的身边,抱起她,大掌啪啪啪的打在她的小屁股上。片段二:某天,两人在床上吵架之后,某小女人气愤的瞪着站在床前的某个男人,小嘴快挂起油壶了。“这是我的,这也是我的。”某女将床上的被子枕头,全部拥到自己怀里,不满的看着眼前的男人。某男人很是无奈的望着床上幼稚的小女人。“这些都是我的,全部都是。”见他没啥表情,某女更是将视线所及之处的物品全都纳入怀里,眼里的泪珠即将决堤。“都是你的,我也是你的。”某男跳上柔软的大床,扑进某个生气小女人的怀里,撒娇似的说道。
  • Prolegomena to Any Future Metaphysics

    Prolegomena to Any Future Metaphysics

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 唯你是我的北极星

    唯你是我的北极星

    四年后再度重逢,她成了他的员工。她一路追逐梦想,而他一路小心翼翼的帮她实现梦想。“我还是没能忘了你。”“你的户口本带了吗?”“……”“我们结婚吧!”萧然:“时间往复,原来你还在这里。”陆景辰:“你追逐梦想,而我追逐你。”
  • 中国媒介批评学(中)

    中国媒介批评学(中)

    当今的人类世界已进入高度媒介化的时代。媒介与人、与人的全部生活息息相关。我们如何理解媒介?媒介在我们的身边究竟发挥着怎样的作用?我们应该如何更科学更合理地掌握媒介?如何利用媒介对于真实的世界和事物的真相进行认知和理解?并进而使得人与社会、人与人的精神交往更加通畅和高效。媒介批评学,就是研究和回答这些重要问题的。