登陆注册
5169600000018

第18章

In other countries of Europe, the Banking Snob is more expansive and communicative than with us, and receives all the world into his circle.For instance, everybody knows the princely hospitalities of the Scharlaschild family at Paris, Naples, Frankfort, &c..They entertain all the world, even the poor, at their FETES.Prince Polonia, at Rome, and his brother, the Duke of Strachino, are also remarkable for their hospitalities.I like the spirit of the first-named nobleman.Titles not costing much in the Roman territory, he has had the head clerk of the banking-house made a Marquis, and his Lordship will screw a BAJOCCO out of you in exchange as dexterously as any commoner could do.It is a comfort to be able to gratify such grandees with a farthing or two; it makes the poorest man feel that he can do good.'The Polonias have intermarried with the greatest and most ancient families of Rome, and you see their heraldic cognizance (a mushroom or on an azure field) quartered in a hundred places in the city with the arms of the Colonnas and Dorias.

City Snobs have the same mania for aristocratic marriages.I like to see such.I am of a savage and envious nature,--I like to see these two humbugs which, dividing, as they do, the social empire of this kingdom between them, hate each other naturally, making truce and uniting, for the sordid interests of either.I like to see an old aristocrat, swelling with pride of race, the descendant of illustrious Norman robbers, whose blood has been pure for centuries, and who looks down upon common Englishmen as a free American does on a nigger,--I like to see old Stiffneck obliged to bow down his head and swallow his infernal pride, and drink the cup of humiliation poured out by Pump and Aldgate's butler.

'Pump and Aldgate, says he, 'your grandfather was a bricklayer, and his hod is still kept in the bank.Your pedigree begins in a workhouse; mine can be dated from all the royal palaces of Europe.I came over with the Conqueror; I am own cousin to Charles Martel, Orlando Furioso, Philip Augustus, Peter the Cruel, and Frederick Barbarossa.I quarter the Royal Arms of Brentford in my coat.I despise you, but I want money; and I will sell you my beloved daughter, Blanche Stiffneck, for a hundred thousand pounds, to pay off my mortgages.Let your son marry her, and she shall become Lady Blanche Pump and Aldgate.'

Old Pump and Aldgate clutches at the bargain.And a comfortable thing it is to think that birth can be bought for money.So you learn to value it.Why should we, who don't possess it, set a higher store on it than those who do? Perhaps the best use of that book, the 'Peerage,' is to look down the list, and see how many have bought and sold birth,--how poor sprigs of nobility somehow sell themselves to rich City Snobs' daughters, how rich City Snobs purchase noble ladies--and so to admire the double baseness of the bargain.

Old Pump and Aldgate buys the article and pays the money.

The sale of the girl's person is blessed by a Bishop at St.George's, Hanover Square, and next year you read, 'At Roehampton, on Saturday, the Lady Blanche Pump, of a son and heir.

After this interesting event, some old acquaintance, who saw young Pump in the parlour at the bank in the City, said to him, familiarly, 'How's your wife, Pump, my boy?'

Mr.Pump looked exceedingly puzzled and disgusted, and, after a pause, said, 'LADY BLANCHE PUMP' is pretty well, I thank you.'

'OH, I THOUGHT SHE WAS YOUR WIFE!' said the familiar brute, Snooks, wishing him good-bye; and ten minutes after, the story was all over the Stock Exchange, where it is told, when young Pump appears, to this very day.

We can imagine the weary life this poor Pump, this martyr to Mammon, is compelled to undergo.Fancy the domestic enjoyments of a man who has a wife who scorns him; who cannot see his own friends in his own house; who having deserted the middle rank of life, is not yet admitted to the higher; but who is resigned to rebuffs and delay and humiliation, contented to think that his son will be more fortunate.

It used to be the custom of some very old-fashioned clubs in this city, when a gentleman asked for change a guinea, always to bring it to him in WASHED SILVER: that which had passed immediately out of the hands of vulgar being considered 'as too coarse to soil a gentleman's fingers.'

So, when the City Snob's money has been washed during a generation or so; has been washed into estates, and woods, and castles, and town-mansions, it is allowed to pass current as real aristocratic coin.Old Pump sweeps a shop, runs of messages, becomes a confidential clerk and partner.Pump the Second becomes chief of the house, spins more and more money, marries his son to an Earl's daughter.Pump Tertius goes on with the bank; but his chief business in life is to become the father of Pump Quartus, who comes out a full-blown aristocrat, and takes his seat as Baron Pumpington, and his race rules hereditarily over this nation of Snobs.

同类推荐
  • 太上正一朝天三八谢罪法忏

    太上正一朝天三八谢罪法忏

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 庐山天然禅师语录

    庐山天然禅师语录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Study of a Woman

    Study of a Woman

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 菜根谭

    菜根谭

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 靖康传信录

    靖康传信录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 植灵界

    植灵界

    万物都拥有灵性,这是一个想要变强就要努力种田的世界。由少年余灰的经历展现世界的过去和未来。种田日常,平平淡淡才是真。
  • 我家公主路子野

    我家公主路子野

    【甜宠到齁】【男强女强】【双洁】她是王朝最尊贵的公主,天命之女,要风得风,要雨得雨,却遇人不淑。被枕边人算计,被亲姐妹背叛,失了王朝,夺了身份,一剑穿心而死。一朝重生,携恨归来,掌先机,断生死。……他是王朝最神圣的国师,手握重权,翻手为云,覆手为雨,却命犯孤星。本以为一世孤独终老,却偏偏被一颗崩坏的天命之星,歪打正着破了命盘。前世倾尽所有,逆天改命,却终究是血满盈亏。……
  • 月宫秋

    月宫秋

    周朝覆灭,大月兴起,她,是前朝遗落民间的圣女,是因自杀而穿越的一缕孤魂。大婚之日,痛失真爱,被迫逃离,作为当朝皇子,他一路相随。风雨飘摇,历经磨难,他对她一见钟情,再见倾心。她对他的冷淡回避,却换来他忠贞许诺的生生世世。“子瑜,你不能离开我,”终究泪还是忍不住滑落,她抱着怀中奄奄一息、面目全非的他,不停地哽咽着,“你说过一生一世的……你要活下去……”听着她的哭声,他摸索着,触碰上那张印象中娇美的面容,努力张开被血黏住的花瓣唇:“对不起……一直没能说……我爱你,阿岩,我爱你,我爱你……”一段虐世情仇,生在异世月宫之秋。【情节虚构,请勿模仿】
  • 智商乐园(智商总动员)

    智商乐园(智商总动员)

    智商总动员系列丛书让你在开心中学习,在学习中益智,在益智中快乐,永远是老师、学生和家长的共同追求。本系列丛书是一片快乐的阅读天地,童趣但不幼稚,启智却不教条,它能让你开心一刻,思考一回。在开心中学习,在学习中益智,在益智中快乐,永远是老师、学生和家长的共同追求。翻开《智商总动员》——轻轻松松让你踏上寓学于乐的智慧之旅!
  • 仙武狂歌

    仙武狂歌

    穿越到一个类似武侠+聊斋的奇妙世界,以手中刀剑劈出一个江湖神话!帝临仙武,无限狂歌!
  • 喜欢颜色女人不会老(女性生活百宝箱)

    喜欢颜色女人不会老(女性生活百宝箱)

    从天真可爱的学生妹向干练得体的职场丽人转型,是每个职场新人的必修课。在告别学生时代开始一段崭新的职场生涯的时候,你想好以怎样的妆容来面对你的老板、同事和客户了吗?恰到好处的妆容,不仅可以提升自己的自信心,而且能够帮助自己得到“专业”“干练”的认可。
  • 尖兵营

    尖兵营

    战争之后的世界,残存的人类为了生存,建造了高大的围墙抵御变异兽和辐射兽的攻击,世界已不在是当初的世界,人类已不是这个世界的统治者了……
  • 再见,演讲焦虑

    再见,演讲焦虑

    一项调查显示:在演讲课上,75% 的学生有演讲焦虑的表现。该题材有广泛的潜在读者,市场需求量大。系统介绍公众演讲焦虑治疗的科普书和专业书目前在市场上是空白。本书深入浅出地、系统地介绍一门科学治疗技术。本书适用于团体治疗,也适用于个人治疗,属于短程治疗。本书的叙述结构和排版的特点:简洁易读、逻辑连贯、学练兼用。公众演讲焦虑是非广泛性社交焦虑中的特定症状之一。在心理学领域有成熟的治疗理论和方法。本书将运用认知行为治疗理论帮助有演讲焦虑的人控制公众演讲焦虑。李超,国家二级心理咨询师,国家二级企业培训师。就职于GE公司多个部分。
  • 感谢大水

    感谢大水

    黄牛倒恋着扒根儿草,水牛倒恋着烂泥塘……一首民歌唱尽了父老乡亲生生不息的精神生活。阳光很好的九月,当我漫步于改道的淮河大堤,徜徉在水门口乡河湾村里,我不能不想起这首民歌,不能不引起我无穷无尽的暇思……一切都缘于那场大水。大水将阜固县夷成平地,靠近淮河岸边的水门口乡也被冲洗的像一个秃头和尚,充满希望的水稻、植被在淮河的泥沙冲刷下显露出比死亡还恐怖的原形。
  • 飞贼

    飞贼

    民国年间,青岭县出了一件扑朔迷离的人命案。城北富绅马如龙家一夜之间,竟暴死八个大男人。警察局来现场取证,死的是老当家马如龙和护院家人,所有死者一不带伤二不流血,也无一丁点中毒的症状,就一丝不挂死在床上。消息像死水里扔粒石子,眨个眼四面八方传开去。有位曾在外面做过镖师的老拳师听说了,便一口咬定是叫人点中了死穴。