登陆注册
5169600000037

第37章

DINING-OUT SNOBS

In England Dinner-giving Snobs occupy a very important place in society, and the task of describing them is tremendous.There was a time in my life when the consciousness of having eaten a man's salt rendered me dumb regarding his demerits, and I thought it a wicked act and a breach of hospitality to speak ill of him.

But why should a saddle-of-mutton blind you, or a turbot and lobster-sauce shut your mouth for ever? With advancing age, men see their duties more clearly.I am not to be hoodwinked any longer by a slice of venison, be it ever so fat; and as for being dumb on account of turbot and lobster-sauce----of course I am; good manners ordain that I should be so, until I have swallowed the compound--but not afterwards; directly the victuals are discussed, and John takes away the plate, my tongue begins to wag.Does not yours, if you have a pleasant neighbour?--a lovely creature, say, of some five-and-thirty, whose daughters have not yet quite come out--they are the best talkers.As for your young misses, they are only put about the table to look at--like the flowers in the centre-piece.Their blushing youth and natural modesty preclude them from easy, confidential, conversational ABANDON which forms the delight of the intercourse with their dear mothers.It is to these, if he would prosper in his profession, that the Dining-out Snob should address himself.Suppose you sit next to one of these, how pleasant it is, in the intervals of the banquet, actually to abuse the victuals and the giver of the entertainment! It's twice as PIQUANT to make fun of a man under his very nose.

'What IS a Dinner-giving Snob?' some innocent youth, who is not REPANDU in the world, may ask--or some simple reader who has not the benefits of London experience.

My dear sir, I will show you--not all, for that is impossible--but several kinds of Dinner-giving Snobs.

For instance, suppose you, in the middle rank of life, accustomed to Mutton, roast on Tuesday, cold on Wednesday, hashed on Thursday, &c., with small means and a small establishment, choose to waste the former and set the latter topsy-turvy by giving entertainments unnaturally costly--you come into the Dinner-giving Snob class at once.Suppose you get in cheap-made dishes from the pastrycook's, and hire a couple of greengrocers, or carpet-beaters, to figure as footmen, dismissing honest Molly, who waits on common days, and bedizening your table (ordinarily ornamented with willow-pattern crockery) with twopenny-halfpenny Birmingham plate.

Suppose you pretend to be richer and grander than you ought to be--you are a Dinner-giving Snob.And oh, Itremble to think how many and many a one will read this!

A man who entertains in this way--and, alas, how few do not!--is like a fellow who would borrow his neighbour's coat to make a show in, or a lady who flaunts in the diamonds from next door--a humbug, in a word, and amongst the Snobs he must be set down.

A man who goes out of his natural sphere of society to ask Lords, Generals, Aldermen, and other persons of fashion, but is niggardly of his hospitality towards his own equals, is a Dinner-giving Snob.My dear friend, Jack Tufthunt, for example, knows ONE Lord whom he met at a watering-place: old Lord Mumble, who is as toothless as a three-months-old baby, and as mum as an undertaker, and as dull as--well, we will not particularise.Tufthunt never has a dinner now but you see this solemn old toothless patrician at the right-hand of Mrs.Tufthunt--Tufthunt is a Dinner-giving Snob.

Old Livermore, old Soy, old Chutney, the East Indian Director, old Cutler, the Surgeon, &c.,--that society of old fogies, in fine, who give each other dinners round and round, and dine for the mere purpose of guttling--these, again, are Dinner-giving Snobs.

同类推荐
  • 佛说最无比经

    佛说最无比经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 少閒

    少閒

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 胜天王般若波罗蜜经

    胜天王般若波罗蜜经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 大云轮请雨经

    大云轮请雨经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 质孔说

    质孔说

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 九重妖后:红颜媚骨

    九重妖后:红颜媚骨

    他予她滴血之恩助她化身人形她堕入红尘伴他两世情缘她,前尘尽忘却依旧苦苦守候千年他,抽去三千情丝,只为助她修补残魄她,灵动美好,心却被践踏的残缺不全他,本是无情,却终甘为她堕落凡尘待繁华落尽依旧红装摇曳的她“我早已不再爱你”
  • 最强红包皇帝

    最强红包皇帝

    叮!红包开启成功!获得神器一把!昊爷开了红包挂!天擎征服在脚下!就问一句:还有谁?!!!【新书发布:《最强吃鸡大帝》!】粉丝交流裙:【625532054】
  • 江湖悬案

    江湖悬案

    一曲悬疑,一瓢剑影。诉说着武林中的种种奇闻异事。从芙蓉镇的灭门惨案,再到金苓公主的神秘失踪,漂洋过海的异国皇权争夺,每一个故事都让人充满了疑问,而当种种痕迹被拼凑起来的时候,才发现原来最大的凶手竟是......
  • 紫府神仙传之魔海狂蝶

    紫府神仙传之魔海狂蝶

    东华帝君重生为夏国王子翼丹,与司禄仙子的前世今生陷入苦恋。他的堂兄燕王翼风,则受到魔界女王欲天罗刹的诱惑,帮她得到了群魔趋之若鹜的蚩尤令符和神功秘笈。最后罗刹凭借坚忍和狡诈,终于修成了秘笈里的顶级神术“归元神功”,并由此祸乱三界,企图颠覆天庭!翼丹承载着荡寇除魔、维护三界的天命,历尽艰辛,终于重返天界!扶大厦之将倾、挽狂澜之既倒......
  • 武魔风云

    武魔风云

    他是废材,却是拥有者举世无双的附魂珠。他遭受屈辱而去,家族却是顷刻间覆灭。千古谜团出现,太古异种为何封存?妖魔兽之皇者相遇,他们宿命相同,能否打破宿命的枷锁?他的出现,对于大陆而言,究竟是吉是凶?
  • 在你心上狙一枪

    在你心上狙一枪

    文案一:纵横吃鸡届无敌的陆成蹊遇到一个变态,“男人”闷骚低音炮,扛着98k,炸一次来一次炸一次。直到某天校级辩论赛上,江璟言站在对方二辩席,皱着女生特有的好看的眉怼他。针锋相对,乐此不疲折腾彼此到你死我活。陆成蹊却突然喊停。你我都是毒瘤,要不要试着在一起为民除害?江瑾言怂了。 文案二:江瑾言在机场被晾一天也没等来公司口里反复强调十二分重要的高级顾问陆先生。直到两人在例行晨会撞见。 陆成蹊皱眉站在走廊里斜睨她,眼里满是不快,“季腾什么时候这么没品味了?”她微笑。 后来。他把人堵家门口说:“我这人就是没品位,也想一直没品位下去。” 爱情最好的状态从来是两军对垒,势均力敌。
  • 春熙路史记:一条街与一座城

    春熙路史记:一条街与一座城

    围绕春熙路一线(劝业场、科甲巷、城守大街、北新街等)的沧桑巨变,以地理为经,以人事为纬,钩稽历史秘闻,打捞人物传奇,梳理街道演变,彰显成都人文精神,展示了春熙路长盛不衰的秘密。而本书的民间价值立场,注重细节,注重叙事,决定了本书强烈的复原历史真相的民间文化向度。
  • 沙葬

    沙葬

    沙镇周围的六个庄子没有像罗布泊那样被风沙淹没,全仗着南北有两道又高又宽的沙梁,像屏障那样挡住了沙暴的入侵。这一方土地上的人为求生存付出的艰辛太多。家家户户每天都要用平头铁锨在门前和墙基周围清沙,不然整个院落就会被沙子掩埋。公路上土路上都有清沙工这个特殊的工种。来凤爹父女俩在集市小街开了个烟杂店,每月就得缴八元钱清沙费。集市街长二百来米,有三四十家小店铺,都是由原先的小摊贩嬗变而成的。来凤爹三十年前就在这里摆了个烟摊,卖的都是让人吸着有股木屑味的勇士、劳动和燎原烟。而今货架上摆着红塔山、云烟、万宝路、三五牌……形形色色,不下三四十种。
  • 盗墓札卷

    盗墓札卷

    如果说这个世界有神,那神究竟是什么?是不朽不灭的粽子僵尸?如果说这个世界没有永恒,那历代的帝王将相,为何会痴迷于方士的水银朱砂丹?历史的一角谜团被压在死人那,而我要做的,就是从死人的嘴巴里,把这些东西掏出来!
  • 狐妖找上门

    狐妖找上门

    【寡言高能忠狐与话唠终极女汉的萌爱纯恋故事!】【甜!作者不会写虐文!】突然有一天安心的身体里寄住了一只疗伤的狐妖女王,于是她的美男白狐护卫白瑟时刻在她周围美其名曰护其周全。每到安心睡着时她的身体都不是自己的,甚至还要代替在她体内的女王去参加狐王换届大会挽回地位;可是美男护卫的确替她打了周围伺机而动的小狐妖等一众小怪兽,在女王恢复的过程中她甚至还能使用一些狐妖能力,并且时刻有忠犬美男护卫任她耍……罢了罢了,就让女王寄住到她恢复吧……然而事情,似乎并不那么简单……【安心:“如果注定是这样的结局,我选择最爱你的方式……”;白瑟:“你可以利用我,但绝不能伤害她。”】