登陆注册
5169600000064

第64章

Just as we had concluded the above remarks comes a pretty little note sealed with a pretty little butterfly--bearing a northern postmark--and to the following effect:-'19th November.

'Mr.Punch,--'Taking great interest in your Snob Papers, we are very anxious to know under what class of that respectable fraternity you would designate us.

'We are three sisters, from seventeen to twenty-two.Our father is HONESTLY AND TRULY of a very good family (you will say it is Snobbish to mention that, but I wish to state the plain fact); our maternal grandfather was an Earl.' (1)'We CAN afford to take in a stamped edition of YOU, and all Dickens' works as fast as they come out, but we do NOT keep such a thing as a PEERAGE or even a BARONETAGEin the house.

'We live with every comfort, excellent cellar, &c.&c.;but as we cannot well afford a butler, we have a neat table-maid (though our father was a military man, has travelled much, been in the best society, &c.) We HAVE a coachman and helper, but we don't put the latter into buttons, nor make them wait at table, like Stripes and Tummus.' (2)'We are just the same to persons with a handle to their name as to those without it.We wear a moderate modicum of crinoline, (3)and are never limp (4) in the morning.

We have good and abundant dinners on CHINA (though we have plate (5), and just as good when alone as with company.

'Now, my dear MR.PUNCH, will you PLEASE give us a short answer in your next number, and I will be SO much obliged to you.Nobody knows we are writing to you, not even our father; nor will we ever tease (6) you again if you will only give us an answer--just for FUN, now do!

'If you get as far as this, which is doubtful, you will probably fling it into the fire.If you do, I cannot help it; but I am of a sanguine disposition, and entertain a lingering hope.At all events, I shall be impatient for next Sunday, for you reach us on that day, and I am ashamed to confess, we CANNOT resist opening you in the carriage driving home from church.(7)'I remain, &c.&c., for myself and sisters.

Excuse this scrawl, but I always write headlong.(8)'P.S.--You were rather stupid last week, don't you think? (9) We keep no gamekeeper, and yet have always abundant game for friends to shoot, in spite of the poachers.We never write on perfumed paper--in short, Ican't help thinking that if you knew us you would not think us Snobs.'

To this I reply in the following manner:--'My dear young ladies, I know your post-town: and shall be at church there the Sunday AFTER next; when, will you please to wear a tulip or some little trifle in your bonnets, so that I may know you? You will recognize me and my dress--a quiet-looking young fellow, in a white top-coat, a crimson satin neckcloth, light blue trousers, with glossy tipped boots, and an emerald breast-pin.I shall have a black crape round my white hat; and my usual bamboo cane with the richly-gilt knob.I am sorry there will be no time to get up moustaches between now and next week.

'From seventeen to two-and-twenty! Ye gods! what ages!

Dear young creatures, I can see you all three.Seventeen suits me, as nearest my own time of life; but mind, Idon't say two-and-twenty is too old.No, no.And that pretty, roguish, demure, middle one.Peace, peace, thou silly little fluttering heart!

'YOU Snobs, dear young ladies! I will pull any man's nose who says so.There is no harm in being of a good family.You can't help it, poor dears.What's in a name? What is in a handle to it? I confess openly that I should not object to being a Duke myself; and between ourselves you might see a worse leg for a garter.

'YOU Snobs, dear little good-natured things, no that is, I hope not--I think not--I won't be too confident--none of us should be--that we are not Snobs.That very confidence savours of arrogance, and to be arrogant is to be a Snob.In all the social gradations from sneak to tyrant, nature has placed a most wondrous and various progeny of Snobs.But are there no kindly natures, no tender hearts, no souls humble, simple, and truth-loving?

Ponder well on this question, sweet young ladies.And if you can answer it, as no doubt you can--lucky are you--and lucky the respected Herr Papa, and lucky the three handsome young gentlemen who are about to become each others' brothers-in-law.'

(1) The introduction of Grandpapa, is I fear, Snobbish.

(2) That is, as you like.I don't object to buttons in moderation.

(3) Quite right.

(4) Bless you!

(5) Snobbish; and I doubt whether you ought to dine as well alone as with company.You will be getting too good dinners.

(6) We like to be teased; but tell Papa.

(7) O garters and stars! what will Captain Gordon and Exeter Hall say to this?

(8) Dear little enthusiast!

(9) You were never more mistaken, miss, in your life.

同类推荐
  • TheTenant of Wildfell Hall

    TheTenant of Wildfell Hall

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 解厄学

    解厄学

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 升仙传

    升仙传

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 二南密旨

    二南密旨

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 柳非烟

    柳非烟

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 百姓投资38金律

    百姓投资38金律

    本书主要介绍了 38条家庭实用理财的方法,指导您对投资管理做出更客观的判断。过去,银行的“零存整取”曾经是普通百姓最青睐的一种储蓄工具。每个月定期去银行把自己工资的一部分存起来,过上几年会发现自己还是小有积蓄。但是,如果我们把每个月去储蓄一笔钱的习惯换作投资一笔钱呢?结果会发生惊人的改变!不一样的理财观念造就不一样的人生!
  • 杜阳杂编

    杜阳杂编

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 鬼影重重

    鬼影重重

    前世地府生涯,今生战乱不断。前世之姻缘,后世之孽果。一个红衣女鬼在追我,我不断奔逃,逃到了一家宾馆。回头一看,红衣女鬼已经不见,宾馆老板是一个和蔼的中年人,他正看着我笑。
  • 网游之龙踞一方

    网游之龙踞一方

    驭龙腾飞九天外,潇河落雪醉浪涛。纵横九州,依的是手中长剑,睥睨寰宇,仗的是兄弟情义!一场游戏一场梦,人生如梦。qq交流群:92395355
  • 此四时

    此四时

    六月文暂不更,七月份会回来的 “你此生有事是遗憾或是后悔的吗?”“有,很多。”“那你想重来一回去弥补去做这些事吗?”“不想。”人生愁绪如柳絮,哪次见春不见它?纵重回韶华千百遍,哪有十全十美如意事?况且,这世道,寿终正寝是件奢侈事,除此之外,哪种死法不疼?死多疼啊,她多怕疼。
  • 雪球专刊·国庆特刊06·打好投资心理战

    雪球专刊·国庆特刊06·打好投资心理战

    大家还是对国情缺乏了解。在天朝,人均月收入2000的家庭就比70%的人富了,如果有5000就跑赢九成的家庭。但他们往往还觉得收入太低,希望政府帮他们从富人那里分一杯羹。事实上,统计清晰的显示:他们自己就是富人。换句更简单的说法,能上围脖的很多收入已经是top10%,但其中绝大部分顶多觉得自己勉强中产。回应一下质疑:如果国人人均月收入真有5000,那么一年6万,中国13.5亿人口,总数已经有81万亿人民币,超过美国GDP8成水平。再加上同比例政府收入和资本利得,全国GDP将会超过150万亿。是目前水平的三倍,也超过美国50%。
  • 至尊王爷的将军妃

    至尊王爷的将军妃

    他是祈天国皇上的二儿子。她是祈天国护国大将军的女儿,他是默默守护她的神秘人,她究竟会选谁?
  • 我们爱说话1:祝酒词、应酬话、场面话

    我们爱说话1:祝酒词、应酬话、场面话

    说话人人都会,但不见得人人会说话。一句话说得好,可以让人高兴;一句话说得不好,可以让人生气。当我们走上社会后,在职场、商场乃至生活中的每一次说话,都有可能对自己以后的人生产生影响。聚会上一段慷慨激昂的祝酒词,婚礼上一段妙趣横生的应酬话,欢送时一段得体到位的场面话,都能使你的才华得到充分的展示,同时让你的形象熠熠生辉,让你得到别人的尊重和爱戴。翻开本书,从多角度、多方面了解各种场合下的祝酒词、应酬话、场面话,全方位了解中国式说话艺术,助你发掘自身语言财富,提高说话技巧,成为人群中的焦点。
  • 属神之电磁观测

    属神之电磁观测

    被神明关注这不一定是好事,因为你不能保证神在无聊的时候会不会从你身上找点乐子,或者有了什么麻烦事就把你扔出去顶锅。一不小心成了属神的本人对此持保留态度,不会发表任何意见。
  • 空姐猝死之谜

    空姐猝死之谜

    最近,一本叫做《耶稣裹尸布之谜》的悬念小说一举打破《达·芬奇密码》“世界图书排行榜第一”的神话,成为备受国际书坛瞩目的新书“黑马”;国内影视剧场,从热播的《梅花档案》到《一只绣花鞋》,再到迅速蹿红的《解密》、《暗算》,情有独钟的“粉丝”们再度掀起“红色悬疑热”的狂潮……恐怖离奇的犯罪、阴森诡异的气氛和丝丝入扣的推理,是悬疑小说魅力永存的秘诀;而觅一部这样的好小说献给读者,则是我们孜孜以求的目标。