登陆注册
5170700000184

第184章

"No it don't," replied Sam, reading on very quickly, to avoid contesting the point:

"`Except of me Mary my dear as your walentine and think over what I've said.--My dear Mary I will now conclude.' That's all," said Sam.

"That's rather a sudden pull up, ain't it, Sammy?" inquired Mr.Weller.

"Not a bit on it," said Sam; "she'll vish there wos more, and that's the great art o' letter writin'.""Well," said Mr.Weller, "there's somethin' in that; and I wish your mother-in-law 'ud only conduct her conwersation on the same gen-teel principle.

Ain't you a goin' to sign it?"

"That's the difficulty," said Sam; "I don't know what to sign it.""Sign it, Veller," said the oldest surviving proprietor of that name.

"Won't do," said Sam."Never sign a walentine with your own name.""Sign it `Pickvick,' then," said Mr.Weller; "it's a wery good name, and a easy one to spell.""The wery thing," said Sam."I could end with a werse; what do you think?""I don't like it, Sam," rejoined Mr.Weller."I never know'd a respectable coachman as wrote poetry, 'cept one, as made an affectin' copy o' werses the night afore he wos hung for a highway robbery; and he wos only a Cambervell man, so even that's no rule."But Sam was not to be dissuaded from the poetical idea that had occurred to him, so he signed the letter, "Your love-sick Pickwick." And having folded it, in a very intricate manner, squeezed a down-hill direction in one corner: "To Mary, Housemaid, at Mr.Nupkins's, Mayor's, Ipswich, Suffolk;"and put it into his pocket, wafered, and ready for the General Post.This important business having been transacted, Mr.Weller the elder proceeded to open that, on which he had summoned his son.

"The first matter relates to your governor, Sammy," said Mr.Weller.

"He's a goin' to be tried to-morrow, ain't he?""The trial's a comin' on," replied Sam.

"Vell," said Mr.Weller, "Now I s'pose he'll want to call some witnesses to speak to his character, or p'raps to prove a alleybi.I've been a turnin'

the bis'ness over in my mind, and he may make his-self easy, Sammy.I've got some friends as'll do either for him, but my adwice 'ud be this here--never mind the character, and stick to the alleybi.Nothing like a alleybi, Sammy, nothing." Mr.Weller looked very profound as he delivered this legal opinion;and burying his nose in his tumbler, winked over the top thereof, at his astonished son.

"Why, what do you mean?" said Sam; "you don't think he's a goin' to be tried at the Old Bailey, do you?""That ain't no part of the present con-sideration, Sammy," replied Mr.

Weller."Verever he's a goin' to be tried, my boy, a alleybi's the thing to get him off.Ve got Tom Vildspark off that 'ere manslaughter, with a alleybi, ven all the big vigs to a man said as nothing couldn't save him.

And my 'pinion is, Sammy, that if your governor don't prove a alleybi, he'll be what the Italians call reg'larly flummoxed, and that's all about it."As the elder Mr.Weller entertained a firm and unalterable conviction that the Old Bailey was the supreme court of judicature in this country, and that its rules and forms of proceeding regulated and controlled the practice of all other courts of justice whatsoever, he totally disregarded the assurances and arguments of his son, tending to show that the alibi was inadmissible; and vehemently protested that Mr.Pickwick was being "wictimised." Finding that it was of no use to discuss the matter further, Sam changed the subject, and inquired what the second topic was, on which his reversed parent wished to consult him.

"That's a point o' domestic policy, Sammy," said Mr.Weller."This here Stiggins--""Red-nosed man?" inquired Sam.

"The wery same," replied Mr.Weller."This here red-nosed man, Sammy, wisits your mother-in-law vith a kindness and constancy as I never see equalled.He's sitch a friend o' the family, Sammy, that wen he's avay from us, he can't be comfortable unless he has somethin' to remember us by.""And I'd give him somethin' as 'ud turpentine and bees'-vax his memory for the next ten years or so, if I wos you," interposed Sam.

"Stop a minute," said Mr.Weller; "I wos a going to say, he always brings now, a flat bottle as holds about a pint and a-half, and fills it vith the pine-apple rum afore he goes avay.""And empties it afore he comes back, I s'pose?" said Sam.

"Clean!" replied Mr.Weller; "never leaves nothin' in it but the cork and the smell; trust him for that, Sammy.Now, these here fellows, my boy, are a goin' to-night to get up the monthly meetin' o' the Brick Lane Branch o' the United Grand Junction Ebenezer Temperance Association.Your mother-in-law wos a goin', Sammy, but she's got the rheumatics, and can't; and I, Sammy--I've got the two tickets as wos sent her." Mr.Weller communicated this secret with great glee, and winked so indefatigably after doing so, that Sam began to think he must have got the tic doloureux in his right eye-lid.

"Well?" said that young gentleman.

"Well," continued his progenitor, looking round him very cautiously, "you and I'll go, punctiwal to the time.The deputy shepherd won't, Sammy;the deputy shepherd won't." Here Mr.Weller was seized with a paroxysm of chuckles, which gradually terminated in as near an approach to a choke as an elderly gentleman can, with safety, sustain.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 契约情人试试爱

    契约情人试试爱

    楚风铃是一个失去异能的异能行者,慕容轩是一个因家族被诅咒而失去爱人能力的异能行者,晓霜因为有精灵的保护,而失去了童年的记忆,友沈若晨是一个手提琴王子。在樱花飞舞的美丽的学院里,当爱已变得不再单纯,当痴情被当成陌路,当与魔界的战争再度拉开帷幕,他们又将如何面对……
  • 百草山

    百草山

    《百草山》中着力塑造的老一代军人贺金柱,从抗日战争的烽烟烈火中参军入伍,到20世纪80年代中期的百万大裁军时淡出一线,戎马生涯半个世纪,身世秉性与这些年来持续不断地牵动着人们视听的如《我是太阳》中的关山林、《亮剑》中的李云龙等一脉相承,堪称是一位叱咤风云的传奇英雄。但作者在刻画主人公的表现方式上,却有意地回避了人们习见的浓墨重彩,回避了夸张的性格描写与趋近极端的语言行为模式,以平实节制的笔触,带我们结识了一位十分真实可亲、十分平民化的老一代军人的英雄形象。
  • 被诅咒的奖金游戏

    被诅咒的奖金游戏

    答对了越多的题目,奖金累计得越让人垂涎,诱人的巨额奖金,这是最让人垂涎欲滴的奖金游戏。最后得到的人只有一个,只有答对所有题目的人能够拥有这份巨大的财富。羡慕,嫉妒,欲望,往往能将最单纯的心污染侵蚀。
  • 绝天剑圣

    绝天剑圣

    (日万更,热血玄幻)天不生我柳缠风,剑道万古长如夜!
  • 古罗马神话与传说

    古罗马神话与传说

    《古罗马神话与传说》对古罗马神话传说奇的叙述分为古罗马神话传说、埃涅阿斯传说、罗马起源和早期历史传说三大部分。在神话传说部分,由于古罗马神话与古希腊神话的紧密关系,这一部分的叙述除了介绍神话故事本身外,侧重对两个神话进行比较,强调指出两个神话的相似性和差异。埃涅阿斯传说经过作家、诗人们的整理和加工,特别是经过维吉尔的构思和处理,成为一个系统的传说,《古罗马神话与传说(名家名译双色插图青少版)》的叙述基本保持了它的完整性。罗马起源和早期历史传说主要取材于李维、狄奥尼西奥斯和普罗塔克的有关著作,同时参考了一些其他著作,适当做了一些考证和说明,以利于对有关传说的理解。
  • 社会卷(文摘小说精品)

    社会卷(文摘小说精品)

    这是读者俱乐部主编的一套书籍,里面包含青春、情感、家庭、校园、情境、师生、社会、父母、智慧等诸多方面,从不同的角度,向我们阐释了它们的意义,是一本伴随人生的书籍,也是一套不可多得的好书系。
  • 守护甜心之凉殇未央

    守护甜心之凉殇未央

    “你要相信,每一个令你意难平的结局,其实,也许是他们力所能及的最好结局。”那年纷飞的花瓣,凋零了属于谁的过往。我站在记忆的缝隙之间,窥视那曾经真实存在过的美好。到底还是应了那句话。——不想失去的东西,总有一天还是会离你而去。【本文大致走向为复仇文,食用请注意脚下,小心踩雷。非无脑玛丽苏,但进度条感人,祝大家顺利熬过狗血与雷点,平安活到最后。】
  • 慕容家的掌上明珠

    慕容家的掌上明珠

    慕容思懿觉得她一定是走了什么狗屎运。不但魂魄一分为二,还遇到了这样一个“坑爹神器”。把她从现代穿越到异世界就罢了,可若是在这异世界被人算计的死翘翘了,现代的她也就死翘翘了。慕容思懿咽下一口气,好,我忍,你掌握着我年轻的生命,你任性。可……这是什么鬼操作?!!?夺取太子殿下的初拥,不然爆体而亡夺取太子殿下的初吻,不然爆体而亡……为嘛人家都是神器在手,天下我有。她……她她就这么……倒霉?某太子是这样解释的:成了我的人,不就拥有了天下?慕容思懿一脸懵逼,所以说……系统是默认的走……捷径?——本以为穿越都是死而复生,结果就因为一个小玩意,她不但和前世的自己互换灵魂,还每天“视频通话”?慕容思懿:啊,我太难了
  • 慈禧及光绪宾天厄

    慈禧及光绪宾天厄

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Juana

    Juana

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。