They passed each other on the Dover road, every day, for twenty-four years, never exchanging any other greeting than this; and yet, when one died, the other pined away, and soon afterwards followed him!
"Vell, George," said Mr.Weller, senior, taking off his upper coat, and seating himself with his accustomed gravity."How is it? All right behind, and full inside?""All right, old feller," replied the embarrassed gentleman.
"Is the grey mare made over to anybody?" inquired Mr.Weller, anxiously.
George nodded in the affirmative.
"Vell, that's all right," said Mr.Weller."Coach taken care on, also?""Con-signed in a safe quarter," replied George, wringing the heads off half-a-dozen shrimps, and swallowing them without any more ado.
"Wery good, wery good," said Mr.Weller."Alvays see to the drag ven you go down hill.Is the vay-bill all clear and straight for'erd?""The schedule, sir," said Pell, guessing at Mr.Weller's meaning, "the schedule is as plain and satisfactory as pen and ink can make it."Mr.Weller nodded in a manner which bespoke his inward approval of these arrangements; and then, turning to Mr.Pell, said, pointing to his friend George:
"Ven do you take his cloths off?"
"Why," replied Mr.Pell, "he stands third on the opposed list, and Ishould think it would be his turn in about half an hour.I told my clerk to come over and tell us when there was a chance."Mr.Weller surveyed the attorney from head to foot with great admiration, and said emphatically:
"And what'll you take, sir?"
"Why, really," replied Mr.Pell, "you're very--.Upon my word and honour, I'm not in the habit of--.It's so very early in the morning, that, actually, I am almost--.Well, you may bring me three penn'orth of rum, my dear."The officiating damsel, who had anticipated the order before it was given, set the glass of spirits before Pell, and retired.
"Gentlemen," said Mr.Pell, looking round upon the company, "Success to your friend! I don't like to boast, gentlemen; it's not my way; but I can't help saying, that, if your friend hadn't been fortunate enough to fall into hands that--but I won't say what I was going to say.Gentlemen, my service to you." Having emptied the glass in a twinkling, Mr.Pell smacked his lips, and looked complacently round on the assembled coachmen, who evidently regarded him as a species of divinity.
"Let me see," said the legal authority."What was I a-saying, gentlemen?""I think you was remarkin' as you wouldn't have no objection to another o' the same, sir," said Mr.Weller, with grave facetiousness.
"Ha, ha!" laughed Mr.Pell."Not bad, not bad.A professional man, too!
At this time of the morning, it would be rather too good a--.Well, I don't know, my dear--you may do that again, if you please.Hem!"This last sound was a solemn and dignified cough, in which Mr.Pell, observing an indecent tendency to mirth in some of his auditors, considered it due to himself to indulge.
"The late Lord Chancellor, gentlemen, was very fond of me," said Mr.
Pell.
"And wery creditable in him, too," interposed Mr.Weller.
"Hear, hear," assented Mr.Pell's client."Why shouldn't he be?""Ah! Why, indeed!" said a very red-faced man, who had said nothing yet, and who looked extremely unlikely to say anything more."Why shouldn't he?"A murmur of assent ran through the company.
"I remember, gentlemen," said Mr.Pell, "dining with him on one occasion;--there was only us two, but everything as splendid as if twenty people had been expected--the great seal on a dumb-waiter at his right hand, and a man in a bag-wig and suit of armour guarding the mace with a drawn sword and silk stockings--which is perpetually done, gentlemen, night and day; when he said, `Pell,' he said, `no false delicacy, Pell.You're a man of talent;you can get anybody through the Insolvent Court, Pell; and your country should be proud of you.' Those were his very words.`My Lord,' I said, `you flatter me.'--`Pell,' he said, `if I do, I'm damned.'""Did he say that?" inquired Mr.Weller.
"He did," replied Pell.
"Vell, then," said Mr.Weller, "I say Parliament ought to ha' took it up; and if he'd been a poor man, they would ha' done it.""But, my dear friend," argued Mr.Pell, "it was in confidence.""In what?" said Mr.Weller.
"In confidence."
"Oh! wery good," replied Mr.Weller, after a little reflection."If he damned his-self in confidence, o' course that was another thing.""Of course it was," said Mr.Pell."The distinction's obvious, you will perceive.""Alters the case entirely," said Mr.Weller."Go on, sir.""No, I will not go on, sir," said Mr.Pell, in a low and serious tone.
"You have reminded me, sir, that this conversation was private--private and confidential, gentlemen.Gentlemen, I am a professional man.It may be that I am a good deal looked up to, in my profession--it may be that I am not.Most people know.I say nothing.Observations have already been made, in this room, injurious to the reputation of my noble friend.You will excuse me, gentlemen; I was imprudent.I feel that I have no right to mention this matter without his concurrence.Thank you, sir; thank you."Thus delivering himself, Mr.Pell thrust his hands into his pockets, and, frowning grimly around, rattled three-halfpence with terrible determination.
This virtuous resolution had scarcely been formed, when the boy and the blue bag, who were inseparable companions, rushed violently into the room, and said (at least the boy did, for the blue bag took no part in the announcement) that the case was coming on directly.The intelligence was no sooner received than the whole party hurried across the street, and began to fight their way into Court--a preparatory ceremony, which has been calculated to occupy, in ordinary cases, from twenty-five minutes to thirty.
