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第64章

"When I was a boy, I always had an ambition to excel all the other boys.I wanted to be the best baseball player on the block--and I was, too.I could pitch three curves when I was fifteen, and I find I am the same now that I am a man grown.When I do a thing, Iwant to do it better than any one else.From the very first I have always been ambitious.It is my strongest trait.Now," he went on, turning to Page, "your strongest trait is your thoughtfulness.You are what they call introspective.""Yes, yes," she answered."Yes, I think so, too.""You don't need the stimulation of competition.You are at your best when you are with just one person.Acrowd doesn't interest you."

"I hate it," she exclaimed.

"Now with me, with a man of my temperament, a crowd is a real inspiration.When every one is talking and shouting around me, or to me, even, my mind works at its best.But," he added, solemnly, "it must be a crowd of men.I can't abide a crowd of women.""They chatter so," she assented."I can't either.""But I find that the companionship of one intelligent, sympathetic woman is as much of a stimulus as a lot of men.It's funny, isn't it, that I should be like that?""Yes," she said, "it is funny--strange.But I believe in companionship.I believe that between man and woman that is the great thing--companionship.Love," she added, abruptly, and then broke off with a deep sigh.

"Oh, I don't know," she murmured."Do you remember those lines:

"Man's love is of his life a thing apart, 'Tis woman's whole existence.

Do you believe that?"

"Well," he asserted, gravely, choosing his words with deliberation, "it might be so, but all depends upon the man and woman.Love," he added, with tremendous gravity, "is the greatest power in the universe.""I have never been in love," said Page."Yes, love is a wonderful power.""I've never been in love, either."

"Never, never been in love?"

"Oh, I've thought I was in love," he said, with a wave of his hand.

"I've never even thought I was," she answered, musing.

"Do you believe in early marriages?" demanded Landry.

"A man should never marry," she said, deliberately, "till he can give his wife a good home, and good clothes and--and that sort of thing.I do not think Ishall ever marry."

"You! Why, of course you will.Why not?""No, no.It is my disposition.I am morose and taciturn.Laura says so."Landry protested with vehemence.

"And," she went on, "I have long, brooding fits of melancholy.""Well, so have I," he threw out recklessly."At night, sometimes--when I wake up.Then I'm all down in the mouth, and I say, 'What's the use, by jingo?'""Do you believe in pessimism? I do.They say Carlyle was a terrible pessimist.""Well--talking about love.I understand that you can't believe in pessimism and love at the same time.

Wouldn't you feel unhappy if you lost your faith in love?""Oh, yes, terribly."

There was a moment's silence, and then Landry remarked:

"Now you are the kind of woman that would only love once, but love for that once mighty deep and strong."Page's eyes grew wide.She murmured:

"'Tis a woman's whole existence--whole existence.' Yes, I think I am like that.""Do you think Enoch Arden did right in going away after he found them married?""Oh, have you read that? Oh, isn't that a beautiful poem? Wasn't he noble? Wasn't he grand? Oh, yes, yes, he did right.""By George, I wouldn't have gone away.I'd have gone right into that house, and I would have made things hum.I'd have thrown the other fellow out, lock, stock, and barrel.""That's just like a man, so selfish, only thinking of himself.You don't know the meaning of love--great, true, unselfish love.""I know the meaning of what's mine.Think I'd give up the woman I loved to another man?""Even if she loved the other man best?"

"I'd have my girl first, and find out how she felt about the other man afterwards.""Oh, but think if you gave her up, how noble it would be.You would have sacrificed all that you held the dearest to an ideal.Oh, if I were in Enoch Arden's place, and my husband thought I was dead, and I knew he was happy with another woman, it would just be a joy to deny myself, sacrifice myself to spare him unhappiness.

That would be my idea of love.Then I'd go into a convent.""Not much.I'd let the other fellow go to the convent.

If I loved a woman, I wouldn't let anything in the world stop me from winning her.""You have so much determination, haven't you?" she said, looking at him.

Landry enlarged his shoulders a little and wagged his head.

"Well," he said, "I don't know, but I'd try pretty hard to get what I wanted, I guess.""I love to see that characteristic in men," she observed."Strength, determination.""Just as a man loves to see a woman womanly," he answered."Don't you hate strong-minded women?""Utterly."

"Now, you are what I would call womanly--the womanliest woman I've ever known.""Oh, I don't know," she protested, a little confused.

"Yes, you are.You are beautifully womanly--and so high-minded and well read.It's been inspiring to me.

I want you should know that.Yes, sir, a real inspiration.It's been inspiring, elevating, to say the least.""I like to read, if that's what you mean," she hastened to say.

"By Jove, I've got to do some reading, too.It's so hard to find time.But I'll make time.I'll get that 'Stones of Venice' I've heard you speak of, and I'll sit up nights--and keep awake with black coffee--but I'll read that book from cover to cover.""That's your determination again," Page exclaimed.

"Your eyes just flashed when you said it.I believe if you once made up your mind to do a thing, you would do it, no matter how hard it was, wouldn't you?""Well, I'd--I'd make things hum, I guess," he admitted.

The next day was Easter Sunday, and Page came down to nine o'clock breakfast a little late, to find Jadwin already finished and deep in the pages of the morning paper.Laura, still at table, was pouring her last cup of coffee.

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