Gerard was almost as eager for this promised land as Denys; for the latter constantly chanted its praises, and at every little annoyance showed him "they did things better in Burgundy;" and above all played on his foible by guaranteeing clean bedclothes at the inns of that polished nation."I ask no more," the Hollander would say; "to think that I have not lain once in a naked bed since I left home! When I look at their linen, instead of doffing habit and hose, it is mine eyes and nose I would fain be shut of."Denys carried his love of country so far as to walk twenty leagues in shoes that had exploded, rather than buy of a German churl, who would throw all manner of obstacles in a customer's way, his incivility, his dinner, his body.
Towards sunset they found themselves at equal distances from a little town and a monastery, only the latter was off the road.
Denys was for the inn, Gerard for the convent.Denys gave way, but on condition that once in Burgundy they should always stop at an inn.Gerard consented to this the more readily that his chart with its list of convents ended here.So they turned off the road.And now Gerard asked with surprise whence this sudden aversion to places that had fed and lodged them gratis so often.The soldier hemmed and hawed at first, but at last his wrongs burst forth.It came out that this was no sudden aversion, but an ancient and abiding horror, which he had suppressed till now, but with infinite difficulty, and out of politeness: "I saw they had put powder in your drink," said he, "so I forbore them.However, being the last, why not ease my mind? Know then I have been like a fish out of water in all those great dungeons.You straightway levant with some old shaveling: so you see not my purgatory.""Forgive me! I have been selfish."
"Ay, ay, I forgive thee, little one; 'tis not thy fault: art not the first fool that has been priest-rid, and monk-hit.But I'll not forgive them my misery." Then, about a century before Henry VIII.'s commissioners, he delivered his indictment.These gloomy piles were all built alike.Inns differed, but here all was monotony.Great gate, little gate, so many steps and then a gloomy cloister.Here the dortour, there the great cold refectory, where you must sit mumchance, or at least inaudible, he who liked to speak his mind out; "and then," said he, "nobody is a man here, but all are slaves, and of what? of a peevish, tinkling bell, that never sleeps.An 'twere a trumpet now, aye sounding alarums, 'twouldn't freeze a man's heart so.Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, and you must sit to meat with may be no stomach for food.Ere your meat settles in your stomach, tinkle, tinkle! and ye must to church with may be no stomach for devotion: I am not a hog at prayers, for one.Tinkle, tinkle, and now you must to bed with your eyes open.Well, by then you have contrived to shut them, some uneasy imp of darkness has got to the bell-rope, and tinkle, tinkle, it behoves you say a prayer in the dark, whether you know one or not.If they heard the sort of prayers I mutter when they break my rest with their tinkle! Well, you drop off again and get about an eyeful of sleep: lo, it is tinkle, tinkle, for matins.""And the only clapper you love is a woman's," put in Gerard half contemptuously.
