A title for a maid of all titles the worst.HORTENSIO Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace, And offer me disguised in sober robes To old Baptista as a schoolmaster Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca;That so I may, by this device, at least Have leave and leisure to make love to her And unsuspected court her by herself.GRUMIO Here's no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together!
Enter GREMIO, and LUCENTIO disguised Master, master, look about you: who goes there, ha? HORTENSIO Peace, Grumio! it is the rival of my love.
Petruchio, stand by a while.GRUMIO A proper stripling and an amorous! GREMIO O, very well; I have perused the note.
Hark you, sir: I'll have them very fairly bound:
All books of love, see that at any hand;
And see you read no other lectures to her:
You understand me: over and beside Signior Baptista's liberality, I'll mend it with a largess.Take your paper too, And let me have them very well perfumed For she is sweeter than perfume itself To whom they go to.What will you read to her? LUCENTIO Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you As for my patron, stand you so assured, As firmly as yourself were still in place:
Yea, and perhaps with more successful words Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.GREMIO O this learning, what a thing it is! GRUMIO O this woodcock, what an ass it is! PETRUCHIO Peace, sirrah! HORTENSIO Grumio, mum! God save you, Signior Gremio.GREMIO And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.
Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.
I promised to inquire carefully About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca:
And by good fortune I have lighted well On this young man, for learning and behavior Fit for her turn, well read in poetry And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.HORTENSIO 'Tis well; and I have met a gentleman Hath promised me to help me to another, A fine musician to instruct our mistress;So shall I no whit be behind in duty To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.GREMIO Beloved of me; and that my deeds shall prove.GRUMIO And that his bags shall prove.HORTENSIO Gremio, 'tis now no time to vent our love:
Listen to me, and if you speak me fair, I'll tell you news indifferent good for either.
Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met, Upon agreement from us to his liking, Will undertake to woo curst Katharina, Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.GREMIO So said, so done, is well.
Hortensio, have you told him all her faults? PETRUCHIO I know she is an irksome brawling scold:
If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.GREMIO No, say'st me so, friend? What countryman? PETRUCHIO Born in Verona, old Antonio's son:
My father dead, my fortune lives for me;
And I do hope good days and long to see.GREMIO O sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange!
But if you have a stomach, to't i' God's name:
You shall have me assisting you in all.
But will you woo this wild-cat? PETRUCHIO Will I live? GRUMIO Will he woo her? ay, or I'll hang her.PETRUCHIO Why came I hither but to that intent?
Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?
Have I not in my time heard lions roar?
Have I not heard the sea puff'd up with winds Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat?
Have I not heard great ordnance in the field, And heaven's artillery thunder in the skies?
Have I not in a pitched battle heard Loud 'larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets'
clang?
