THE DOUBLE LIFE OF MISS MINERVA
On the following day, just as the Prophet was drawing on a new pair of suede gloves preparatory to setting out to Hill Street, Gustavus entered with a silver salver.
"A telegram for you, sir," he said.
The Prophet took the blushing envelope, ripped it gently open, and read as follows:--"Madame and self must confer with you this afternoon without fail.
Shall be with you five sharp; most important.
JUPITER SAGITTARIUS."
Gustavus nearly dropped at sight of the wrinkles that seamed the Prophet's usually smooth face as he grasped the full meaning of this portentous missive.
"Any answer, sir?"
The wrinkles increased and multiplied.
"Any reply, sir?"
"What--no."
Gustavus glided in a well-trained manner towards the door.When he got there the Prophet cried, rather sharply,--"Stop a moment!"
Gustavus stopped.
"Sir?"
"The--I--er--I am expecting a--a--couple this afternoon," began the Prophet, speaking with considerable hesitation, and still gazing, in a hypnotised manner, at the telegram.
"A couple, sir?"
"Exactly.A pair."
"A pair, sir? Of horses, sir?"
"Horses! No--of people, that is, persons.""A pair of persons, sir.Yes, sir."
"They should arrive towards five o'clock.""Yes, sir."
"If I should not be home by that time you will show them very quietly into my library--not the drawing-room.Mrs.Merillia is not at present equal to receiving ordinary guests."The Prophet meant extraordinary, but he preferred to put it the other way.
"Yes, sir.What name, sir?"
"Mr.and Mrs.--that is, Madame Sagittarius.That will do."Gustavus hastened to the servants' hall to discuss the situation, while the Prophet stood re-reading the telegram with an expression of shattered dismay.Not for at least five minutes did he recover himself sufficiently to remember his appointment with Lady Enid, and, when at length he set forth to Hill Street, he was so painfully preoccupied that he walked three times completely round the square before he discovered the outlet into that fashionable thoroughfare.
When he reached the dark green mansion of Lady Enid's worthy father, the Marquis of Glome, and had applied the bronze demon that served as a knocker four separate times to the door, he was still so lost in thought that he started violently on the appearance of the Scotch retainer at the portal, and behaved for a moment as if he were considering which of two courses he should pursue: /i.e./, whether he should clamber frantically into the seclusion of the area, or take boldly to the open street.Before he could do either M'Allister, the retainer, had magnetised him into the hall, relieved him of his hat--almost with the seductive adroitness of a Drury Lane thief--and drawn him down a tartan passage into a very sensible-looking boudoir, in which Lady Enid was sitting by a wood fire with a very tall and lusty young man.
"Mr.Hennessey Vivian!"
"What, Bob--you here!" said the Prophet to the lusty young man, after shaking hands a little distractedly with Lady Enid.
"Yes, old chap.But I'm just off.I know you two want to have a confab," returned Mr.Robert Green, wringing his old school friend's hand."Niddy's given me the chuck.And anyhow I'm bound to look in at the Bath Club at four to fence with Chicky Bostock."Mr.Green spoke in a powerful baritone voice, rolling his r's, and showing his large and square white teeth in a perpetual cheery and even boisterous smile.He was what is called a thorough good fellow, springy in body and essentially gay in soul.That he was of a slightly belated temperament will be readily understood when we say that he was at this time just beginning to whistle, with fair correctness, "Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay," to discuss the character of Becky Sharp, to dwell upon the remarkable promise as a vocalist shown by Madame Adelina Patti, and to wonder at the marvellous results said to be accomplished by the telephone.He had also never heard of Christian Science, and was totally unaware that there exists in the metropolis a modest and retiring building called "The Imperial Institute." Nevertheless, he was repeatedly spoken of by substantial people as a young man of many parts, was a leading spirit in Yeomanry circles, and was greatly regarded by the Prophet as a trusty friend and stalwart upholder of the British Empire.He had rather the appearance of a bulwark, and something of the demeanour of a flourishing young oak tree.
"Yes, Bob, you've got to go," assented Lady Enid, examining the Prophet's slightly distorted countenance with frank, and even eager, curiosity."Mr.Vivian and I are going to talk of modern things.""I know, Thackeray and Patti, and three-volume novels, and skirt dancing, and all the rest of it," said Mr.Green, with unaffected reverence."Well, I'm off.I say, Hen, pop in at the Bath on your way home and have a whiskey and soda.I shall just be out of the hot room and--""I'm sorry, Bob," said the Prophet with almost terrible solemnity, that I can't, that--in fact--I am unable.""What? Going to the dentist?"
"Exactly--that is, not at all."
"Well, what's up? Some intellectual business, lecture on Walter Scott, or Dickens, or one of the other Johnnies that are so popular just now?""No.I have a--a small gathering at home this afternoon.
"All right.Then I'll pop round on you--say five o'clock.""No, Bob, no, I can't say that.I'm very sorry, but I can't possibly say that.""Right you are.Too clever for me, I s'pose.Look me up at the Tintack to-night then--any time after ten.""If I can, Bob, I will," replied the Prophet, with impressive uncertainty, "I say if I can I will do so.""Done! If you can't, then I'm not to expect you.That it?""That is it--precisely."
"Good-bye, Niddy, old girl.Keep your pecker up.By the way, if you want a real good tune for a Charity sing-song, a real rouser, try 'Nancy Lee.' "He was gone, humming vigorously that new-fangled favourite.
