"The dark thing that told me the Crab was dressed.It has come again.""My word!" ejaculated Madame, looking uneasily around."Where is it?"Just then Malkiel the Second's feet once more began to tremble among the plate of Mrs.Merillia.
"You hear it!" said the Prophet, much impressed.
"Did it rattle like that the other night?" gasped Madame, seizing the Prophet by the arm.
The Prophet told a lie with his head.
"Address it, I beg," said Madame, in a great state of excitement.
"Meanwhile I will retire a few paces."
So saying, she backed into the passage, bearing the candle with her for company, and leaving the Prophet in total darkness.The low whistle sounded again, and a husky voice said,--"Are you there?"
"Yes," replied the Prophet, summoning all his courage."I am.""What 'a' you put out the light for?" said the voice, which seemed to come from far away.
"I haven't put it out," returned the Prophet."It's gone away."At this juncture Malkiel, impelled by curiosity, ceased from trembling, and, leaning forward upon the loving-cup, glued his ear to the key-hole of the cupboard.
"Why was you so late to-night?" proceeded the voice."She's been in a rare taking, I can tell you.""Who?"
"Who? You know well enough."
"Do you mean my grandmother?"
"Your grandmother!" ejaculated the voice with apparent sarcasm."Ah! of course, what do you think?""I'm sure I don't know," said the poor Prophet, whose reason was beginning to totter upon its throne.
"Well," proceeded the voice, "she thought you'd give it up.""What--my grandmother did?"
"Ah, your grandmother.Get away with you! Ha! ha! ha!"And the mysterious visitant broke forth into a peal of rather mundane laughter.After indulging in this unseemly mirth for about a minute and a half, the personage resumed,--"The Crab did for her."
Upon hearing the mystic word Madame crept stealthily a pace or two nearer to the door, while the Prophet exclaimed,--"The dressed Crab?"
"Ah, what do /you/ think? Not a wink of sleep and thought every minute'd be 'er next.""Good Heavens!"
"She says she'd never go near a crab again, not if it's ever so.""You are sure?" said the Prophet, eagerly."You are positive she said that?""I'd stake my Davy, and I wouldn't do that on everything.There ain't a man living as'll ever get her to go within fifty miles of a crab this side of Judgment."At this point in the colloquy the curiosity of Madame overcame her, and she protruded her head suddenly beyond the edge of the doorway.
"Ulloh!" exclaimed the voice."Why, what's 'a' you got there?"Madame hastily withdrew, and the voice continued,--"Blessed if it ain't a female!"
"I beg your pardon!" said the Prophet, trembling with propriety."I--I--there is no female here!"
"Yes there is!" cried the voice, with a chuckle."There's a female creeping and crawling about behind that there door."The Prophet's sense of chivalry was now fully aroused.
"You are mistaken," he said firmly."There are no females creeping and--and crawling about in this--this respectable house.""Respectable!" ejaculated the voice, "respectable! I say there is a female.You're a nice one, you are! 'Pon my word, I've a good mind to run you in for Mormonism, I have.Wherever's she got to?"On the last words a sudden blaze of light shot into the pantry, and at the same moment there was the sound of wheels rapidly approaching in the square.
"Hulloh!" said the voice, "someone a-comin'."The light died out as rapidly as it had flashed in, the wheels drew close and stopped, and a bell pealed forth in the silent house.
"Merciful Heavens!" cried the Prophet, pressing his hands to his throbbing brow."Merciful Heavens! who can that be?"There was no answer, and the bell pealed again.
"Grannie will be disturbed!" exclaimed the Prophet, addressing himself, passionately to the darkness."Grannie will be killed by all this uproar."The bell pealed again.
"This must cease," cried the Prophet."This must and shall cease.Iwill bring it all to an end once and for ever!"And, with sudden desperate decision, he shut the window, burst out of the pantry and came upon Madame, who was standing in a somewhat furtive manner by the door that opened into the cellars of the mansion.
"Mr.Vivian," she began, in a rather subdued voice, "that isn't a comet, that's a copper!"The bell rang again.
"D'you think--d'you think that can be my husband?" continued Madame, still seeming subdued."I should like him-- Do you think it's him?""What?"
"The bell."
"I will very soon see," replied the Prophet, in a most determined manner.
"But Mr.Viv--"
"Don't hold me, if you please.Kindly let me pass!"And, breaking from the lady's anxious grasp, the Prophet rushed into the hall just as Gustavus appeared, descending the front stairs from the landing before Mrs.Merillia's door, where he had been in close conference with Mrs.Fancy.
"Stand back, Gustavus," said the Prophet.
"Sir!"
"Stand back!"
"But, sir, there is someone--"
"I know there is.I am about to answer the door myself.""If you please, sir, Mrs.Merillia is greatly alarmed by the constant ringing, and Mrs.Fancy thinks--""Gustavus," said the Prophet in an awful voice, "you may retire, but first let me tell you one thing.""Certainly, sir," said the footman, beginning to tremble.
"The circumstances that have rendered a hitherto peaceful household more disordered than an abode of madmen are about to be brought to an end for ever.There is a point at which a gentleman must either cease to be a gentleman or cease to be a man.I have reached that point, Gustavus, and I am about to cease to be a gentleman."And, with this terrible statement, the Prophet advanced with a sort of appalling deliberation and threw the front door wide open.
Upon the doorstep stood Lady Enid wrapped in a pink opera cloak and Sir Tiglath Butt shrouded in the Inverness.The Prophet faced them with a marble demeanour.
"I thought you'd be here, Mr.Vivian," began Lady Enid in a bright manner.
