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第13章 The Letter.(1)

MADAM,If your fair Eyes,upon the breaking up of this,meet with somewhat too quick a Surprize,make thence,I beseech you,some reflection upon the Condition I must needs have been in,at the suddain Appearance of that Sun of Beauty,which at once shone so full upon my soul.I could not immediately disengage my self from that Maze of Charms,to let you know how unworthy a Captive your Eyes had made through mistake.Sure,Madam,you cannot but remember my Disorder,of which your Innocent (Innocent,though perhaps to me Fatal)Error made a Charitable (but wide)Construction.Your Tongue pursued the Victory of your Eyes,and you did not give me time to rally my poor Disordered Senses,so as to make a tolerable Retreat.Pardon,Madam,the Continuation of the Deceipt,and call it not so,that I appear'd to be other than my self;for Heaven knows I was not then my self,nor am I now my own.You told me something that concern'd me nearly,as to a Marriage my Father design'd me,and much more nearly in being told by you.For Heaven's sake,disclose not to any Body your Knowledge of me,that I may not be forced to an immediate Act of Disobedience;for if my future Services and inviolate Love,cannot recommend me to your Favour,I shall find more comfort in the cold Embraces of a Grave,than in the Arms of the never so much admired (but by me dreaded)Juliana.Think,Madam,of those severe Circumstances I lie under;and withal I beg you,think it is in your Power,and only in your Power,to make them happy as my Wishes,or much more miserable than I am able to imagine.That dear,inestimable (though undesign'd)Favour which I receiv'd from you,shall this Day distinguish me from the Crowd of your Admirers;that which I really applied to my inward bleeding Wound,the welcom Wound which you have made,and which,unless from you,does wish no Cure;then pardon and have pity on,O Adored Leonora,him,who is your's by Creation as he is Heaven's,though never so unworthy.Have pity on Your Aurelian.

She read the Letter over and over,then flung it by,then read it again;the Novelty of the Adventure made her repeat her Curiosity,and take more than ordinary Pains to understand it.At last her Familiarity with the Expressions grew to an Intimacy,and what she at first permitted she now began to like.She thought there was something in it a little more serious,than to be barely Gallantry.

She wondred at her own Blindness,and fancy'd she could remember something of a more becoming Air in the Stranger than was usual to Lorenzo.This thought was parent to another of the same kind,till a long Chain successively had Birth,and every one somewhat more than other,in Favour of the supposed Aurelian.She reflected upon his Discretion,in deferring the Discovery of himself,till a little time had,as it were,weaned her from her perswasion,and by removing her farther from her Mistake,had prepared her for a full and determinate Convincement.She thought his Behaviour,in personating a Sick Man so readily,upon the first hint was not amiss,and smil'd to think of his Excuse to procure her Handkerchief;and last of all,his sifting out the Means to write to her,which he had done with that Modesty and Respect,she could not tell how to find fault with it.

She had proceeded thus far in a maze of Thought,when she started to find her self so lost to her Reason,and would have trod back again that path of deluding Fancy;accusing her self of Fondness,and inconsiderate Easiness,in giving Credit to the Letter of a Person whose Face she never saw,and whose first Acquaintance with her was a Treachery,and he who could so readily deliver his Tongue of a Lye upon a Surprize,was scarce to be trusted when he had sufficient Time allow'd him to beget a Fiction,and Means to perfect the Birth.

How did she know this to be Aurelian,if he were?Nay farther,put it to the Extremity,What if she should upon farther Conversation with him proceed to Love him?What Hopes were there for her?Or how could she consent to Marry a Man already Destined for another Woman?

Nay,a Woman that was her Friend,whose Marrying with him was to compleat the happy Reconciliation of Two Noble Families,and which might prevent the Effusion of much Blood likely to be shed in that Quarrel:Besides,she should incurr share of the Guilt,which he would draw upon him by Disobedience to his Father,whom she was sure would not be consenting to it.

'Tis strange now,but all Accounts agree,that just here Leonora,who had run like a violent Stream against Aurelian hitherto,now retorted with as much precipitation in his Favour.I could never get any Body to give me a satisfactory reason,for her suddain and dextrous Change of Opinion just at that stop,which made me conclude she could not help it;and that Nature boil'd over in her at that time when it had so fair an Opportunity to show it self:For Leonora it seems was a Woman Beautiful,and otherwise of an excellent Disposition;but in the Bottom a very Woman.This last Objection,this Opportunity of perswading Man to Disobedience,determined the Matter in Favour of Aurelian,more than all his Excellencies and Qualifications,take him as Aurelian,or Hippolito,or both together.

Well,the Spirit of Contradiction and of Eve was strong in her;and she was in a fair Way to Love Aurelian,for she lik'd him already;that it was Aurelian she no longer doubted,for had it been a Villain,who had only taken his Name upon him for any ill Designs,he would never have slip'd so favourable an Opportunity as when they were alone and in the Night coming through the Garden and broad Space before the Piazza.In short,thus much she resolv'd,at least to conceal the Knowledge she had of him,as he had entreated her in his Letter,and to make particular Remarks of his Behaviour that Day in the Lists,which should it happen to Charm her with an absolute liking of his Person,she resolv'd to dress her self to the best Advantage,and mustering up all her Graces,out of pure Revenge to kill him down right.

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