登陆注册
5239300000084

第84章 OUR HONOURABLE FRIEND(1)

WE are delighted to find that he has got in! Our honourable friend is triumphantly returned to serve in the next Parliament. He is the honourable member for Verbosity - the best represented place in England.

Our honourable friend has issued an address of congratulation to the Electors, which is worthy of that noble constituency, and is a very pretty piece of composition. In electing him, he says, they have covered themselves with glory, and England has been true to herself. (In his preliminary address he had remarked, in a poetical quotation of great rarity, that nought could make us rue, if England to herself did prove but true.)

Our honourable friend delivers a prediction, in the same document, that the feeble minions of a faction will never hold up their heads any more; and that the finger of scorn will point at them in their dejected state, through countless ages of time. Further, that the hireling tools that would destroy the sacred bulwarks of our nationality are unworthy of the name of Englishman; and that so long as the sea shall roll around our ocean-girded isle, so long his motto shall be, No surrender. Certain dogged persons of low principles and no intellect, have disputed whether anybody knows who the minions are, or what the faction is, or which are the hireling tools and which the sacred bulwarks, or what it is that is never to be surrendered, and if not, why not? But, our honourable friend the member for Verbosity knows all about it.

Our honourable friend has sat in several parliaments, and given bushels of votes. He is a man of that profundity in the matter of vote-giving, that you never know what he means. When he seems to be voting pure white, he may be in reality voting jet black. When he says Yes, it is just as likely as not - or rather more so - that he means No. This is the statesmanship of our honourable friend.

It is in this, that he differs from mere unparliamentary men. YOU may not know what he meant then, or what he means now; but, our honourable friend knows, and did from the first know, both what he meant then, and what he means now; and when he said he didn't mean it then, he did in fact say, that he means it now. And if you mean to say that you did not then, and do not now, know what he did mean then, or does mean now, our honourable friend will be glad to receive an explicit declaration from you whether you are prepared to destroy the sacred bulwarks of our nationality.

Our honourable friend, the member for Verbosity, has this great attribute, that he always means something, and always means the same thing. When he came down to that House and mournfully boasted in his place, as an individual member of the assembled Commons of this great and happy country, that he could lay his hand upon his heart, and solemnly declare that no consideration on earth should induce him, at any time or under any circumstances, to go as far north as Berwick-upon-Tweed; and when he nevertheless, next year, did go to Berwick-upon-Tweed, and even beyond it, to Edinburgh; he had one single meaning, one and indivisible. And God forbid (our honourable friend says) that he should waste another argument upon the man who professes that he cannot understand it! 'I do NOT, gentlemen,' said our honourable friend, with indignant emphasis and amid great cheering, on one such public occasion. 'I do NOT, gentlemen, I am free to confess, envy the feelings of that man whose mind is so constituted as that he can hold such language to me, and yet lay his head upon his pillow, claiming to be a native of that land, Whose march is o'er the mountain-wave, Whose home is on the deep!

(Vehement cheering, and man expelled.)

When our honourable friend issued his preliminary address to the constituent body of Verbosity on the occasion of one particular glorious triumph, it was supposed by some of his enemies, that even he would be placed in a situation of difficulty by the following comparatively trifling conjunction of circumstances. The dozen noblemen and gentlemen whom our honourable friend supported, had 'come in,' expressly to do a certain thing. Now, four of the dozen said, at a certain place, that they didn't mean to do that thing, and had never meant to do it; another four of the dozen said, at another certain place, that they did mean to do that thing, and had always meant to do it; two of the remaining four said, at two other certain places, that they meant to do half of that thing (but differed about which half), and to do a variety of nameless wonders instead of the other half; and one of the remaining two declared that the thing itself was dead and buried, while the other as strenuously protested that it was alive and kicking. It was admitted that the parliamentary genius of our honourable friend would be quite able to reconcile such small discrepancies as these; but, there remained the additional difficulty that each of the twelve made entirely different statements at different places, and that all the twelve called everything visible and invisible, sacred and profane, to witness, that they were a perfectly impregnable phalanx of unanimity. This, it was apprehended, would be a stumbling-block to our honourable friend.

同类推荐
  • 轻重甲

    轻重甲

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 定情人

    定情人

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 馗书

    馗书

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 炀帝迷楼记

    炀帝迷楼记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 东亭闲望

    东亭闲望

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 三界狱警

    三界狱警

    摩罗界,魔兽的屠杀使一岁的铁濛失去了一切!报仇雪恨的神念就此扎根在心头!历经种种磨难,他的修为还仅仅能够把仇敌困囚在“封丘之狱”,成为“狱警”的他日夜修炼,只待手刃仇敌的那一刻!不料,仇敌突破封丘逃到凡界,他追随而来,穿越而来的他们依旧是罪犯与狱警,这现实中的高墙电网下又会上演怎样的离奇搏杀?高墙下又有着怎样的另一面?穿越到银汉时代修罗界,战神铁濛能够成功么?一名狱警,以特异而另类的角度写监狱、写警察、写囚犯!玄中藏真,幻中射实。
  • 蒙训

    蒙训

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 100分的甜

    100分的甜

    (寒月新文已发,不一样的故事,一样的精彩,《契约蜜恋:娇妻爱不够》,欢迎大家去看!)都说上了个总裁捡了个宝,只是秦烟却苦逼了。
  • 武道逆天

    武道逆天

    生来无属性体质的他,无意间唤醒沉寂的幻空轮!看他苦练肉体,征战妖兽,打劫佣兵,建立国家,纵横兵者大陆!武道之难!难于上青天!兵者大陆,以武为尊,以兵为主,兵者,杀伐也!全身经脉堵塞,武道修为只能止步武兵的他,能否造就不可思议之神话?
  • 超强战神系统

    超强战神系统

    万千武技,一学就会。神通法术,一点就通。魂穿异界,林洛获得超强战神系统,自此过上了撩妹打怪装逼打脸的幸福生活。…………………………………………书友qq群号:609049407欢迎加群交流哦。
  • 内功四经

    内功四经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 女人好心态,职场好状态

    女人好心态,职场好状态

    在职场中,你总会遇到这样或那样的问题,你总会有遭遇心情低谷或人生瓶颈的时候,你总会面临人、事、物的一些变化……这时我们就需要一个良好的心态作为支撑,学会调整好自己的心态,让自己以一个最佳的状态去迎接每一个和职场有关的日子,只有这样,你才会成就平衡、圆满的人生,成为职场中真正的“精品”女人!
  • 风月无涯

    风月无涯

    在这座城市的西边,有一个硕大的湖,叫团湖。团湖四周是密密匝匝的芦苇,秋风吹来,芦花抖动着,像是秀美的女人在招手。黄昏,常有飞鸟在湖面上徘徊,发出嘎嘎的鸣声。团湖幽静,周围是一层层的白桦林,笔直的树干上刻着无数个类似眼睛的圈圈儿。据史志记载,当年抗日烈士们在这里与日寇奋战三天三夜,最后全部捐躯埋在这里。城里的人都说,白桦树上有多少圈圈儿,就有多少烈士们的眼睛,他们死后不瞑目,注视着变化多端的世界。团湖的湖畔是一排排墩墩实实的楼房,这是建国初期修建的干休所。楼房的颜色发灰,只有楼顶是红色的,远远看去像是一个个老人戴着红帽子。
  • 爱过恨过,擦肩而过

    爱过恨过,擦肩而过

    从小一起长大,三年不见,他对她生厌,她对他,由深爱到深恨。柯霖钰:“我最后再问一次,你知道错了吗?”她有什么错,她问心无愧。偷了我的,欠了我的,伤了我的,通通都要给我还回来。乔一玥:“柯霖钰,我这辈子最错的,就是爱上了你。”她爱过,也恨过,但最终与幸福擦肩而过。--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 灵目鬼话

    灵目鬼话

    一个死了三天的老太太,她的头颅却莫名出现在我家门前,是鬼魂作怪,还是人为……