登陆注册
5251800000029

第29章 MASTER HUMPHREY'S VISITOR(11)

Mr. Weller was so overpowered by this picture that he straightway fell into a most alarming fit of coughing, which must certainly have been attended with some fatal result but for the dexterity and promptitude of Sam, who, taking a firm grasp of the shawl just under his father's chin, shook him to and fro with great violence, at the same time administering some smart blows between his shoulders. By this curious mode of treatment Mr. Weller was finally recovered, but with a very crimson face, and in a state of great exhaustion.

'He'll do now, Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick, who had been in some alarm himself.

'He'll do, sir!' cried Sam, looking reproachfully at his parent.

'Yes, he WILL do one o' these days, - he'll do for his-self and then he'll wish he hadn't. Did anybody ever see sich a inconsiderate old file, - laughing into conwulsions afore company, and stamping on the floor as if he'd brought his own carpet vith him and wos under a wager to punch the pattern out in a given time?

He'll begin again in a minute. There - he's a goin' off - I said he would!'

In fact, Mr. Weller, whose mind was still running upon his precocious grandson, was seen to shake his head from side to side, while a laugh, working like an earthquake, below the surface, produced various extraordinary appearances in his face, chest, and shoulders, - the more alarming because unaccompanied by any noise whatever. These emotions, however, gradually subsided, and after three or four short relapses he wiped his eyes with the cuff of his coat, and looked about him with tolerable composure.

'Afore the governor vith-draws,' said Mr. Weller, 'there is a pint, respecting vich Sammy has a qvestion to ask. Vile that qvestion is a perwadin' this here conwersation, p'raps the genl'men vill permit me to re-tire.'

'Wot are you goin' away for?' demanded Sam, seizing his father by the coat-tail.

'I never see such a undootiful boy as you, Samivel,' returned Mr.

Weller. 'Didn't you make a solemn promise, amountin' almost to a speeches o' wow, that you'd put that 'ere qvestion on my account?'

'Well, I'm agreeable to do it,' said Sam, 'but not if you go cuttin' away like that, as the bull turned round and mildly observed to the drover ven they wos a goadin' him into the butcher's door. The fact is, sir,' said Sam, addressing me, 'that he wants to know somethin' respectin' that 'ere lady as is housekeeper here.'

'Ay. What is that?'

'Vy, sir,' said Sam, grinning still more, 'he wishes to know vether she - '

'In short,' interposed old Mr. Weller decisively, a perspiration breaking out upon his forehead, 'vether that 'ere old creetur is or is not a widder.'

Mr. Pickwick laughed heartily, and so did I, as I replied decisively, that 'my housekeeper was a spinster.'

'There!' cried Sam, 'now you're satisfied. You hear she's a spinster.'

'A wot?' said his father, with deep scorn.

'A spinster,' replied Sam.

Mr. Weller looked very hard at his son for a minute or two, and then said, 'Never mind vether she makes jokes or not, that's no matter. Wot I

say is, is that 'ere female a widder, or is she not?'

'Wot do you mean by her making jokes?' demanded Sam, quite aghast at the obscurity of his parent's speech.

'Never you mind, Samivel,' returned Mr. Weller gravely; 'puns may be wery good things or they may be wery bad 'uns, and a female may be none the better or she may be none the vurse for making of 'em;

that's got nothing to do vith widders.'

'Wy now,' said Sam, looking round, 'would anybody believe as a man at his time o' life could be running his head agin spinsters and punsters being the same thing?'

'There an't a straw's difference between 'em,' said Mr. Weller.

同类推荐
  • 太上元始天尊说续命妙经

    太上元始天尊说续命妙经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 太上灵宝中元地官消愆灭罪忏

    太上灵宝中元地官消愆灭罪忏

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 佛说长者法志妻经

    佛说长者法志妻经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 革除遗事

    革除遗事

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Tales for Fifteen

    Tales for Fifteen

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 高山牧场

    高山牧场

    平凡的都市入门级小白领无意间得到一个神奇的珠子,给他的生活带来巨大的改变,混到美帝内部,开牧场,改良牛马,养点猛兽,伴着蓝天,雪山,还有青翠的草场,没事赶赶牛,打打猎,骑骑马,悠闲而自在,不用为上班打卡而烦恼,也不用再看老板的脸色,也不用在管同事间为了升职钩心斗角,迎着清新的空气,温暖的阳光,嗯!下午到了在睡个小午觉****************************新书《山洼小富农》上传了,希望各位大大多多捧场,多多收藏!http://m.wkkk.net/info/1004929121
  • 一等废柴:女王的忠犬

    一等废柴:女王的忠犬

    熊加文对闵清一见钟情,可不论如何讨好,闵清总是对他冷眼相对、颐指气使,还和别的男人订了婚,熊加文伤心离去,从此一头扎进工作。分别四年,他已功成名就,还有美丽能干的未婚妻相伴,面对来公司面试的闵清,他那颗平静多年的小心脏居然又开始躁动,可只要一想到当年她的无情,就对这个该死的女人怒火中烧,可这火焰烧着烧着怎么就烧到别的地方去了......
  • 禅林僧宝传

    禅林僧宝传

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 我和你吻别

    我和你吻别

    “纯恋小说”代表作家李李翔:声色年华的青涩之爱,青葱岁月的甜蜜赞歌!明朗轻快的文风带你重回青春校园时,敢爱敢恨、敢笑敢言,吻别也不说再见!唐译成绩优秀、性格开朗,是个惹人喜爱的好学生,“小霸王”陈上却接二连三地对她恶作剧,惹得唐译很是烦恼。她不知道,陈上只不过因为她一句“一见钟情”的戏言心生恋慕,一桩桩恶作剧就此揭开了两人爱恨纠缠的一生。生性骄傲的陈上对于追女孩子毫无经验,见了唐译手忙脚乱;而幻想中的诸多“情敌”又让他紧张又懊恼。两人的恋情磕磕绊绊,面对老师的阻止、情敌的竞争、友情的考验,唐译和陈上这对欢喜冤家的感情,会走向何处?
  • 大漠红颜魅天下  已出版

    大漠红颜魅天下 已出版

    简介:竟然有个古人要和我交换时空,对穿?虽然我厌倦现在的生活,周围的变故,但我还不能离开呀!她却没有理会我的意愿,硬是把我的魂魄带去了2000年前的西域强国——精绝,我将面临的是什么?会不会比现代的我更遭?而她则霸占了现代的我的身体、我的生活,她是否能应付?……这是注定要写成两部的小说,一个我,一个她,希望大家喜欢!经过5个多月断断续续的写作,这个上部属于古代的故事终于完结了,非常感谢大家一路的支持!!!下部属于现代的故事会另开新篇,希望得到你们一如既往的支持!!!
  • 中国学术思想史

    中国学术思想史

    《中国学术思想事》是国内首部全面论述中国学术和思想史的专著,作者以思想史与社会史相结合的研究方法,系统阐述了自先秦至清末的学术发展和思想脉络,对于每一个朝代、每一特定历史时期的重要学派、思想家,以及重大的学术交流活动,其产生、发展的经过,其对后世的影响,都有深刻而独到的论述,昭示了中华民族优秀的思想传统和辉煌的人文精神。
  • 凯歌百代美名扬

    凯歌百代美名扬

    上个世纪的1952年10月14日至11月25日。我所在的中国人民志愿军第15军在举世闻名的朝鲜战场五圣山战区上甘岭。由我所在的45师135团两个连队扼守仅3.7平方公里、正面宽仅2.5公里的弹丸之地(即597,9高地和537,7高地北山两个山包),与以世界军界一致公认的世界最大的军事强国美国军队为主的所谓“联合国军”,展开了敌方称之为“金化攻势”、我军则称之为上甘岭战役的一场鏖战。在这场历时43天的鏖战中,敌人先后共投入兵力6万余人,参战火炮1565门,坦克120辆,飞机3000余架次。
  • 重生之校霸十八岁

    重生之校霸十八岁

    三十一岁的待产妇女发现老公出轨,不当包子,暴打渣夫,手撕小三,却因为难产死在手术台上。再醒来,竟然成为十八岁的高中太妹?重来一次,只想做个温婉的白莲花美少女。然而校园里的男碧池和女碧池们接踵而来。小弟:大姐,揍人去!周婧:每天都被约架真的好累,喂,那个风云学霸,有没有兴趣和我组个cp?
  • 悲伤的西班牙

    悲伤的西班牙

    这是一周中的第五次了,他进去时,她以同样的姿势听着同一支乐曲。没错,同一支。例行的询问,意料中的作答。一切如常,正常。他可以离去了,但没有。她想,他是不是有点繁冗?接近于事无巨细的望闻问切。音乐还在继续着。一支曲子到底有多长,她走神了。但同时,蓦地悟过来,这中间已有两次,乐声中止,复又再起,还是一样的旋律。自己开启的是单曲循环模式。无穷无尽的回环往复。她的脖颈在他点到为止的触摸下,起了细小的汗粒。微微的黏湿传导着沁人的凉,使她感觉到他的指尖一阵烫热。他说,就这样吧。记得仰睡,坚持仰睡。窗外,突然起了巨大的哗啦声。
  • 李商隐诗选

    李商隐诗选

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。