登陆注册
5261800000021

第21章

[The crowd cheers, then slowly passes away, singing at a hoarse version of the Marseillaise, till all that is heard is a faint murmuring and a distant barrel-organ playing the same tune.]

PRESS. [Writing] "And far up in the clear summer air the larks were singing."

LORD W. [Passing his heard over his hair, and blinking his eyes]

James! Ready?

JAMES. Me Lord!

L. ANNE. Daddy!

LADY W. [Taking his arm] Bill! It's all right, old man--all right!

LORD W. [Blinking] Those infernal larks! Thought we were on the Somme again! Ah! Mr. Lemmy, [Still rather dreamy] no end obliged to you; you're so decent. Now, why did you want to blow us up before dinner?

LEMMY. Blow yer up? [Passing his hand over his hair in travesty]

"Is it a dream? Then wykin' would be pyne."

MRS. LEMMY. Bo-ob! Not so saucy, my boy!

LEMMY. Blow yet up? Wot abaht it?

LADY W. [Indicating the bomb] This, Mr. Lemmy!

[LEMMY looks at it, and his eyes roll and goggle.]

LORD W. Come, all's forgiven! But why did you?

LEMMY. Orl right! I'm goin' to tyke it awy; it'd a-been a bit ork'ard for me. I'll want it to-mower.

LORD W. What! To leave somewhere else?

LEMMY. 'Yus, of course!

LORD W. No, no; dash it! Tell us what's it filled with?

LEMMY. Filled wiv? Nuffin'. Wot did yet expect? Toof-pahder?

It's got a bit o' my lead soldered on to it. That's why it's 'eavy!

LORD W. But what is it?

LEMMY. Wot is it? [His eyes are fearfully fixed on LADY WILLIAM] I fought everybody knew 'em.

LADY W. Mr. Lemmy, you must clear this up, please.

LEMMY. [TO LORD WILLIAM, With his eyes still held On LADY WILLIAM--mysteriously] Wiv lydies present? 'Adn't I better tell the Press?

LORD W. All right; tell someone--anyone!

[LEMMY goes down to THE PRESS, who is reading over his last note. Everyone watches and listens with the utmost discretion, while he whispers into the ear of THE PRESS; who shakes his head violently.]

PRESS. No, no; it's too horrible. It destroys my whole----

LEMMY. Well, I tell yer it is.

[Whispers again violently.]

PRESS. No, no; I can't have it. All my article! All my article!

It can't be--no----

LEMMY. I never see sick an obstinate thick-head! Yer 'yn't worvy of yet tryde.

[He whispers still more violently and makes cabalistic signs.]

[LADY WILLIAM lifts the bomb from the cooler into the sight of all. LORD WILLIAM, seeing it for the first time in full light, bends double in silent laughter, and whispers to his wife. LADY WILLIAM drops the bomb and gives way too. Hearing the sound, LEMMY turns, and his goggling eyes pan them all in review. LORD and LADY WILLIAM in fits of laughter, LITTLE ANNE stamping her feet, for MISS STOKES, red, but composed, has her hands placed firmly over her pupil's eyes and ears; LITTLE AIDA smiling brilliantly, MRS. LEMMY blandly in sympathy, neither knowing why; the FOUR FOOTMAN in a row, smothering little explosions.

POULDER, extremely grave and red, THE PRESS perfectly haggard, gnawing at his nails.]

LEMMY. [Turning to THE PRESS] Blimy! It amooses 'em, all but the genteel ones. Cheer oh! Press! Yer can always myke somefin' out o' nufun'? It's not the fust thing as 'as existed in yer imaginytion only.

PRESS. No, d--- it; I'll keep it a bomb!

LEMMY. [Soothingly] Ah! Keep the sensytion. Wot's the troof compared wiv that? Come on, Muvver! Come on, Little Aida! Time we was goin' dahn to 'Earf.

[He goes up to the table, and still skidding a little at LADY WILLIAM, takes the late bomb from the cooler, placing it under his arm.]

MRS. LEMMY. Gude naight, sir; gude naight, ma'am; thank yu for my cup o' tea, an' all yore kindness.

[She shakes hands with LORD and LADY WILLIAM, drops the curtsey of her youth before Mr. POULDER, and goes out followed by LITTLE AIDA, who is looking back at LITTLE ANNE.]

LEMMY. [Turning suddenly] Aoh! An' jist one frog! Next time yer build an 'ouse, daon't forget--it's the foundytions as bears the wyte.

[With a wink that gives way, to a last fascinated look at LADY WILLIAM, he passes out. All gaze after them, except THE PRESS, who is tragically consulting his spiflicated notes.]

L. ANNE. [Breaking away from Miss STOKES and rushing forward] Oh!

Mum! what was it?

CURTAIN

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 玉玲珑奥特曼之光暗1错

    玉玲珑奥特曼之光暗1错

    她,只是一个普通的地球人;谁知,一场意外,彻彻底底的改变了她的一生。她是天地间仅存的一只九尾水狐——银水寒!欢迎加入书友群,群聊号码:684252214
  • 毒妃倾天

    毒妃倾天

    全能佣兵女王魂穿废材花痴,医毒双休,天赋禀异,庶姐、后母统统虐死。杀手王爷百般刁难,某王妃:“不好好表现,照样休了你!”【情节虚构,请勿模仿】
  • 从超神学院开始的咸鱼人生

    从超神学院开始的咸鱼人生

    旅途漫漫......我叫楚谨,一个来旅游的所以......你们能不能不要看到这么帅的我就眼冒星星,我很累的。
  • 萌喵王妃之亲爱的铲屎官

    萌喵王妃之亲爱的铲屎官

    天灵国王爷在弱冠之年被皇上赐婚娶了一只小奶喵,震惊天灵国上下。然而,王爷很傲娇的表示,从今往后,咱就是有猫的人了,全府上下都要好好的对待本王的猫,啊,不对,是本王的王妃。喜提王妃喵一只,夜凌澜的生活开始美滋滋。但是,小家伙贪吃,竟然三四天就变成了人,夜凌澜强扯着笑脸,没什么不好,人形王妃就只是有点难撩,有点难撩而已。面对痴情王爷的献殷勤,小动作,葉喵喵表示,铲屎的,你休想本喵给你生猫崽子!不存在,不可能,你做梦!(否认三连,手动滑稽。)
  • 为将不为妃

    为将不为妃

    她是大姜唯一的女将军,一生戎马,征战四方,十五岁身披铠甲上阵杀敌,所求不过是护得这个已然风雨飘摇的大将军府百年安定。然而,她衷心以待的君主,原来只是把她当做镇守疆土的一颗棋子,最终落了个家破人亡的下场。幸得上苍怜悯,还她一世性命,这一世,且看她如何搅动满城风雨,动荡万里江山。唯一遗憾的是,前一世里,她一生一次的心动,落了个心灰意冷的结局。他生莫作有情痴,人间无地着相思。本想这一世封了心,不见他,不相识,不相知,如此便可不相思。可是,世事无常。后来,她才明白,原来她从来都不曾真正了解过他,真正被辜负的人,是他,不是她。
  • 修罗天帝传

    修罗天帝传

    【新书《我的抖音连接万界》正在qq阅读火热连载,各位兄弟来看看哈。】万年前,苍云界最强天帝君寒,因触及神域阴谋,被神域强者联合天道诛杀,含恨陨落。万载沉睡,一缕天帝之魂,却悄然转世重生。血战诸天,剑灭众神,这一世,他如修罗回归,乾坤颤栗!
  • 再借一个六月

    再借一个六月

    六月有几天?30天?31天?不,他把她的六月延长为一辈子!“说好的,这个六月,你是我男朋友!先生~”他听过千万遍先生,唯独她喊一声先生,被他听为天籁!她说过最狠的话,便是:破的镜子粘合了,还会有裂痕,破碎的感情复合了,也会有芥蒂!他说过最长的一句话,便是:这个六月不够,我可以再向借你一个六月吗?
  • 贺卿之喜

    贺卿之喜

    人生旅途一直不顺利的贺颜,意外穿越到一个古代农家待嫁女身上,不仅有个极品亲妈,还有个刻薄贪婪的继父,这原身还是被自己未婚夫的长相给吓到跳井的……“唉,老天爷,我到底怎么得罪你了啊啊啊!”
  • 简遇之时

    简遇之时

    简单的时光,不朽的生命,简时,不朽。我喜欢你,不仅仅因为你是余洛,还因为,我见到你的第一刻就知道,我的余生,就是你了,请多多指教,余先生。
  • 杀出天际

    杀出天际

    世界末日仅存的幸存者狼狈渡日。相互猜忌,争斗和妥协成为生存游戏的内容。是孤军奋战还是抱团取暖!抉择在自己的手中。原始的野性可以战胜一切人类自以为信的哲学。活着!每个人都需要活着!等待时间的救赎!