登陆注册
5262200000052

第52章 Chapter 10 A MARRIAGE CONTRACT(4)

And this snort being regular in its reproduction, at length comes to be expected by the company, who make embarrassing pauses when it is falling due, and by waiting for it, render it more emphatic when it comes. The stoney aunt has likewise an injurious way of rejecting all dishes whereof Lady Tippins partakes: saying aloud when they are proffered to her, 'No, no, no, not for me. Take it away!' As with a set purpose of implying a misgiving that if nourished upon similar meats, she might come to be like that charmer, which would be a fatal consummation. Aware of her enemy, Lady Tippins tries a youthful sally or two, and tries the eye-glass; but, from the impenetrable cap and snorting armour of the stoney aunt all weapons rebound powerless.

Another objectionable circumstance is, that the pokey unknowns support each other in being unimpressible. They persist in not being frightened by the gold and silver camels, and they are banded together to defy the elaborately chased ice-pails. They even seem to unite in some vague utterance of the sentiment that the landlord and landlady will make a pretty good profit out of this, and they almost carry themselves like customers. Nor is there compensating influence in the adorable bridesmaids; for, having very little interest in the bride, and none at all in one another, those lovely beings become, each one of her own account, depreciatingly contemplative of the millinery present; while the bridegroom's man, exhausted, in the back of his chair, appears to be improving the occasion by penitentially contemplating all the wrong he has ever done; the difference between him and his friend Eugene, being, that the latter, in the back of HIS chair, appears to be contemplating all the wrong he would like to do--particularly to the present company.

In which state of affairs, the usual ceremonies rather droop and flag, and the splendid cake when cut by the fair hand of the bride has but an indigestible appearance. However, all the things indispensable to be said are said, and all the things indispensable to be done are done (including Lady Tippins's yawning, falling asleep, and waking insensible), and there is hurried preparation for the nuptial journey to the Isle of Wight, and the outer air teems with brass bands and spectators. In full sight of whom, the malignant star of the Analytical has pre-ordained that pain and ridicule shall befall him. For he, standing on the doorsteps to grace the departure, is suddenly caught a most prodigious thump on the side of his head with a heavy shoe, which a Buffer in the hall, champagne-flushed and wild of aim, has borrowed on the spur of the moment from the pastrycook's porter, to cast after the departing pair as an auspicious omen.

So they all go up again into the gorgeous drawing-rooms--all of them flushed with breakfast, as having taken scarlatina sociably--and there the combined unknowns do malignant things with their legs to ottomans, and take as much as possible out of the splendid furniture. And so, Lady Tippins, quite undetermined whether today is the day before yesterday, or the day after to-morrow, or the week after next, fades away; and Mortimer Lightwood and Eugene fade away, and Twemlow fades away, and the stoney aunt goes away--she declines to fade, proving rock to the last--and even the unknowns are slowly strained off, and it is all over.

All over, that is to say, for the time being. But, there is another time to come, and it comes in about a fortnight, and it comes to Mr and Mrs Lammle on the sands at Shanklin, in the Isle of Wight.

Mr and Mrs Lammle have walked for some time on the Shanklin sands, and one may see by their footprints that they have not walked arm in arm, and that they have not walked in a straight track, and that they have walked in a moody humour; for, the lady has prodded little spirting holes in the damp sand before her with her parasol, and the gentleman has trailed his stick after him. As if he were of the Mephistopheles family indeed, and had walked with a drooping tail.

'Do you mean to tell me, then, Sophronia--'

Thus he begins after a long silence, when Sophronia flashes fiercely, and turns upon him.

'Don't put it upon ME, sir. I ask you, do YOU mean to tell me?'

Mr Lammle falls silent again, and they walk as before. Mrs Lammle opens her nostrils and bites her under-lip; Mr Lammle takes his gingerous whiskers in his left hand, and, bringing them together, frowns furtively at his beloved, out of a thick gingerous bush.

'Do I mean to say!' Mrs Lammle after a time repeats, with indignation. 'Putting it on me! The unmanly disingenuousness!'

Mr Lammle stops, releases his whiskers, and looks at her. 'The what?'

Mrs Lammle haughtily replies, without stopping, and without looking back. 'The meanness.'

He is at her side again in a pace or two, and he retorts, 'That is not what you said. You said disingenuousness.'

'What if I did?'

'There is no "if" in the case. You did.'

'I did, then. And what of it?'

'What of it?' says Mr Lammle. 'Have you the face to utter the word to me?'

'The face, too!' replied Mrs Lammle, staring at him with cold scorn. 'Pray, how dare you, sir, utter the word to me?'

'I never did.'

As this happens to be true, Mrs Lammle is thrown on the feminine resource of saying, 'I don't care what you uttered or did not utter.'

After a little more walking and a little more silence, Mr Lammle breaks the latter.

'You shall proceed in your own way. You claim a right to ask me do I mean to tell you. Do I mean to tell you what?'

'That you are a man of property?'

'No.'

'Then you married me on false pretences?'

'So be it. Next comes what you mean to say. Do you mean to say you are a woman of property?'

'No.'

'Then you married me on false pretences.'

'If you were so dull a fortune-hunter that you deceived yourself, or if you were so greedy and grasping that you were over-willing to be deceived by appearances, is it my fault, you adventurer?' the lady demands, with great asperity.

'I asked Veneering, and he told me you were rich.'

同类推荐
  • The True Story of Christopher Columbus

    The True Story of Christopher Columbus

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 十诵羯磨比丘要用

    十诵羯磨比丘要用

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 本草从新

    本草从新

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 摄大乘讲疏

    摄大乘讲疏

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 道教义枢

    道教义枢

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 人气

    人气

    中国作家协会副主席蒋子龙曾以《乔厂长上任记》、《赤橙黄绿青蓝紫》等小说多次轰动社会,今天又奉献写作十年的长篇力作《人气》;个人家庭国家,谁不盼人气旺财运兴?作品在表现大都市人文景观的同时,全面反映市场经济下人际关系与情感世界的深刻变化。从下岗女工和厅局长的感情纠葛、到英俊官商与大学女教师的朦胧恋爱,芸芸众生无不在欲望大潮中浮沉起落,既展示出清纯的人格美,又流露了丑陋的劣根性。
  • 红薯劫

    红薯劫

    周宏轩和吴双臣的初次相识,只是受到了烤红薯的吸引。那一年秋天的某个清晨,睡眼惺忪的周宏轩走上了街道。刚刚在县科技局报到的第一天,别说住的地方还没有,就是吃饭也必须自己解决。昨天晚上他就在办公室的沙发上凑合了一夜,翻来覆去地睡不安稳,好不容易盼到天亮,肚子又饿得咕咕叫,其他早点的摊位也不知道在什么地方寻找,拐过一个十字街头,烤红薯的香味却扑鼻而来了。大伯,有烤好的红薯吗?周宏轩打着哈欠问。你这人,什么眼神啊?哪里就冒出个大伯了?我的媳妇还在丈母娘家养着呢,听你这么一叫,我就好像半辈子都白活了。
  • 失踪之谜百科(科学探索百科)

    失踪之谜百科(科学探索百科)

    人类社会和自然世界是那么丰富多彩,使我们对于那许许多多的难解之谜,不得不密切关注和发出疑问。人们总是不断地去认识它,勇敢地去探索它。虽然今天科学技术日新月异,达到了很高程度,但对于许多谜团还是难以圆满解答。人们都希望发现天机,破解无限的谜团。古今中外许许多多的科学先驱不断奋斗,一个个谜团不断解开,推进了科学技术的大发展,但又发现了许多新的奇怪事物和难解之谜,又不得不向新的问题发起挑战。科学技术不断发展,人类探索永无止境,解决旧问题,探索新领域,这就是人类一步一步发展的足迹。
  • 明伦汇编人事典卷人事总部

    明伦汇编人事典卷人事总部

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 凌睿,是你赠我美丽泡沫

    凌睿,是你赠我美丽泡沫

    美丽温柔的少女柳含曦,从小在修道院长大。在执行一次工作任务中,一把尖刀对准了含曦。千钧一发之际,年轻帅气的凌睿救下了她,让她与死神擦肩而过。含曦对凌睿有莫名好感,却发现他是当红影星柳如烟的男朋友。她如遭雷击,柳如烟正是当年抛下她的亲生母亲。他们再次相遇,冰释前嫌。
  • A Distinguished Provincial at Parisl

    A Distinguished Provincial at Parisl

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 俏皮军师之大学那点事

    俏皮军师之大学那点事

    她,是个活在二次元的腐女子。她,是个生在三次元的好闺蜜。她,人生只需要吃喝动漫便足以,而她,除了吃喝嫖赌骑射喷之外最重要的便是自家闺蜜的终身大事。大学那点事,一群人的胡搅盲缠一堆人的乐事趣事。哼哼,是谁说这二次元的腐女子就找不到三次元的真情感呢?看她这军师大人如果当这个俏皮红娘。
  • 中学生必知的名胜古迹(上)

    中学生必知的名胜古迹(上)

    名胜古迹,是指风景优美和有古代遗迹的著名地方。漫步在这些名山胜水之中,一方面可以领略自然的大好风光,另一方面也从中感悟博大精深的历史文化。对于了解一个国家,一个地区,一个民族的地理文化,也有着十分重要的帮助。
  • 酷公主VS邪魅殿下

    酷公主VS邪魅殿下

    她们是美貌与智慧集于一身的黑涩会酷公主,为了帮助爹地统领黑道,混入零度皇家学院,紧接着又双双遇到了帅到让人窒息的大帅哥!“什么?大姐被强吻了?!”“二妹被逼订婚?!”“三妹被劫色了?!”不要以为遇到大帅哥是件好事,这不,衰运天天找上门来,甩都甩不掉!看三大酷公主如何VS邪魅殿下,玩转校园。
  • 原诗

    原诗

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。