登陆注册
5262200000052

第52章 Chapter 10 A MARRIAGE CONTRACT(4)

And this snort being regular in its reproduction, at length comes to be expected by the company, who make embarrassing pauses when it is falling due, and by waiting for it, render it more emphatic when it comes. The stoney aunt has likewise an injurious way of rejecting all dishes whereof Lady Tippins partakes: saying aloud when they are proffered to her, 'No, no, no, not for me. Take it away!' As with a set purpose of implying a misgiving that if nourished upon similar meats, she might come to be like that charmer, which would be a fatal consummation. Aware of her enemy, Lady Tippins tries a youthful sally or two, and tries the eye-glass; but, from the impenetrable cap and snorting armour of the stoney aunt all weapons rebound powerless.

Another objectionable circumstance is, that the pokey unknowns support each other in being unimpressible. They persist in not being frightened by the gold and silver camels, and they are banded together to defy the elaborately chased ice-pails. They even seem to unite in some vague utterance of the sentiment that the landlord and landlady will make a pretty good profit out of this, and they almost carry themselves like customers. Nor is there compensating influence in the adorable bridesmaids; for, having very little interest in the bride, and none at all in one another, those lovely beings become, each one of her own account, depreciatingly contemplative of the millinery present; while the bridegroom's man, exhausted, in the back of his chair, appears to be improving the occasion by penitentially contemplating all the wrong he has ever done; the difference between him and his friend Eugene, being, that the latter, in the back of HIS chair, appears to be contemplating all the wrong he would like to do--particularly to the present company.

In which state of affairs, the usual ceremonies rather droop and flag, and the splendid cake when cut by the fair hand of the bride has but an indigestible appearance. However, all the things indispensable to be said are said, and all the things indispensable to be done are done (including Lady Tippins's yawning, falling asleep, and waking insensible), and there is hurried preparation for the nuptial journey to the Isle of Wight, and the outer air teems with brass bands and spectators. In full sight of whom, the malignant star of the Analytical has pre-ordained that pain and ridicule shall befall him. For he, standing on the doorsteps to grace the departure, is suddenly caught a most prodigious thump on the side of his head with a heavy shoe, which a Buffer in the hall, champagne-flushed and wild of aim, has borrowed on the spur of the moment from the pastrycook's porter, to cast after the departing pair as an auspicious omen.

So they all go up again into the gorgeous drawing-rooms--all of them flushed with breakfast, as having taken scarlatina sociably--and there the combined unknowns do malignant things with their legs to ottomans, and take as much as possible out of the splendid furniture. And so, Lady Tippins, quite undetermined whether today is the day before yesterday, or the day after to-morrow, or the week after next, fades away; and Mortimer Lightwood and Eugene fade away, and Twemlow fades away, and the stoney aunt goes away--she declines to fade, proving rock to the last--and even the unknowns are slowly strained off, and it is all over.

All over, that is to say, for the time being. But, there is another time to come, and it comes in about a fortnight, and it comes to Mr and Mrs Lammle on the sands at Shanklin, in the Isle of Wight.

Mr and Mrs Lammle have walked for some time on the Shanklin sands, and one may see by their footprints that they have not walked arm in arm, and that they have not walked in a straight track, and that they have walked in a moody humour; for, the lady has prodded little spirting holes in the damp sand before her with her parasol, and the gentleman has trailed his stick after him. As if he were of the Mephistopheles family indeed, and had walked with a drooping tail.

'Do you mean to tell me, then, Sophronia--'

Thus he begins after a long silence, when Sophronia flashes fiercely, and turns upon him.

'Don't put it upon ME, sir. I ask you, do YOU mean to tell me?'

Mr Lammle falls silent again, and they walk as before. Mrs Lammle opens her nostrils and bites her under-lip; Mr Lammle takes his gingerous whiskers in his left hand, and, bringing them together, frowns furtively at his beloved, out of a thick gingerous bush.

'Do I mean to say!' Mrs Lammle after a time repeats, with indignation. 'Putting it on me! The unmanly disingenuousness!'

Mr Lammle stops, releases his whiskers, and looks at her. 'The what?'

Mrs Lammle haughtily replies, without stopping, and without looking back. 'The meanness.'

He is at her side again in a pace or two, and he retorts, 'That is not what you said. You said disingenuousness.'

'What if I did?'

'There is no "if" in the case. You did.'

'I did, then. And what of it?'

'What of it?' says Mr Lammle. 'Have you the face to utter the word to me?'

'The face, too!' replied Mrs Lammle, staring at him with cold scorn. 'Pray, how dare you, sir, utter the word to me?'

'I never did.'

As this happens to be true, Mrs Lammle is thrown on the feminine resource of saying, 'I don't care what you uttered or did not utter.'

After a little more walking and a little more silence, Mr Lammle breaks the latter.

'You shall proceed in your own way. You claim a right to ask me do I mean to tell you. Do I mean to tell you what?'

'That you are a man of property?'

'No.'

'Then you married me on false pretences?'

'So be it. Next comes what you mean to say. Do you mean to say you are a woman of property?'

'No.'

'Then you married me on false pretences.'

'If you were so dull a fortune-hunter that you deceived yourself, or if you were so greedy and grasping that you were over-willing to be deceived by appearances, is it my fault, you adventurer?' the lady demands, with great asperity.

'I asked Veneering, and he told me you were rich.'

同类推荐
  • 山水训

    山水训

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 西河记

    西河记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 玉皇赦罪锡福宝忏

    玉皇赦罪锡福宝忏

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 春草斋集

    春草斋集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • THE CYCLOPS

    THE CYCLOPS

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 当女配重生后

    当女配重生后

    “我和你做个交易!让你能够从植物人状态苏醒过来。”深沉的男声道。裴梓曦问道:“什么条件?”“哈哈,聪明人。我的条件是你要魂穿为故事里的女主人,完成系统任务,把任务完成,以此积累生命值,积满十个生命值,就能够从植物人状态苏醒过来。”空旷的男声不乏诱惑引导。“我愿意”裴梓曦毫不犹豫地回答。那声音满意地声音又提醒道:“你现在的能力不足,会有点痛苦。”紧接着裴梓曦在一阵撕裂的痛中昏过去了……--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 极品小公主

    极品小公主

    (亲们,全文修改中,请大家移步《大闹后宫:甜心小宠妃》或《樱花淡:江湖皇后太嚣张》浅浅的成长,期待你的评论。)什么?隧道居然塌了?有没有搞错啊?手机居然没有信号,连求救都省了。该死的隧道,什么时候不塌,偏偏这个时候塌,人真的是不能懒的,这次绕近路的决定是非常错误的。“喂,有没有人啊,救命啊。姑奶奶我还要赶着去相亲呢,如果这次再不成功的话,外婆非要唠叨死我。”不行,我得自救,看着那个安全的逃生门,破破旧旧的样子,忍不住大骂:“靠,有没有搞错啊,这样的门一看就是年久失修的,还那么难打开。”于是使出全身的力气,一脚把那破门给踢踏了。“呼,终于好了。我的未来老公,我来了。”说着大摇大摆的走进逃生门,一场未知的旅行,即将开始。
  • 武林双绝

    武林双绝

    本书为“中国当代故事文学读本”古今传奇系列之四,不仅收入了当今故事界优秀作者的短篇精品力作,还首次整合了《故事会》杂志创刊以来尚未开发的古今传奇中篇故事资源。故事情节生动曲折,人物形象饱满鲜明,尤其能历经岁月的考验,令读者叹为观止、拍案称奇。
  • 不能得罪的樱树

    不能得罪的樱树

    男人究竟做了什么,让女人一个个神秘地消失?古老的村落里,狸猫为何经常召开议会?王妃的恶疾,只有食人族的雪花膏才能医治?被诅咒的樱树,历经了多少次轮回的孽缘?本书集结了才女作家络绎21篇原创怪谈小说,其超级反转的情节、极具想象力的场景、短小精悍的人物,无不为你开启一个无比奇妙的梦幻世界!
  • 韩娱之巅

    韩娱之巅

    他,是百年不遇的音乐天才,对于音乐有着让所有人都惊叹的天赋,是S.M公司李秀满第一个满意的弟子。他,和HOT同时出道,以一人之力,在水晶男孩以及HOT这群当红偶像组合的夹击下,逆流而上,与他们平分娱乐圈。他,年仅13岁,可是在一出道,就轰动了当时整个娱乐圈,顶级的唱功,优秀的作词作曲能力,加上不俗的舞蹈,让所有艺人都感觉到了威胁。这颗璀璨的新星,如果没有意外,会成为最顶级的存在,这是他的粉丝们以及李秀满的感觉,可惜,事与愿违,年仅13岁的他,虽然在音乐上有着过人的天赋,但是却仍然是不懂的人情世故,盛气凌人的性格,孤傲的气质,让他在不知不觉中,把整个娱乐圈中人得罪了大半,再加上其他娱乐公司不满S.M公司垄断了娱乐圈,于是,这颗璀璨的新星,终于暗淡了下来。 求推荐,求收藏,各种求啊。
  • 掳爱成婚:陆先生疼她入骨

    掳爱成婚:陆先生疼她入骨

    结婚两年没有孩子,某女挺着大肚上门,请她让位。纪南珂淡淡地笑:“等生了,拿着亲子鉴定再来找我谈!排队的有七八个了,我不要的男人,怎么就那么多女人上赶着捡?”身后,男人静静站着,头顶阴云密布。--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 九天毒医之帝尊的极品仙君

    九天毒医之帝尊的极品仙君

    她因偷了帝宫中的神仙水而被一代帝君追杀致死。他没想到两人有生存缺陷,只能共存亡。两大神君双双陨灭,界面失重逐渐毁灭。天念她有错在先,命她带着任务寻找着每个界面那个他——她的容貌、记忆将被封存,在每次任务完成后逐渐解开……宁负天下,不负卿。乱世中谁先喊错了名字,这隔世的嘶哑有着悲切的痛,有着欢愉的乐。多天元后,帝宫里又是谁唇齿间轻轻唤出一声“澜儿”
  • 太吾绘卷之演武

    太吾绘卷之演武

    世有陈风,事无尘封。太吾绘卷,铺就热血苍穹!
  • 饮食须知

    饮食须知

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 面部年轻美丽的皮下秘密

    面部年轻美丽的皮下秘密

    当前,各类关于抗老化、回春、医学美容的书籍、杂志、广告、产品铺天盖地。其中良莠不齐,甚至不乏因商业目的而派生的美容观点 确实令人无所适从。不少女性朋友理论上似乎了解很多相关知识,实际上已经被深深误导了。