登陆注册
5265500000104

第104章 Chapter XXIV.

--I think it a very unreasonable demand--cried my great-grandfather, twisting up the paper, and throwing it upon the table.--By this account, madam, you have but two thousand pounds fortune, and not a shilling more--and you insist upon having three hundred pounds a year jointure for it.----'Because,' replied my great-grandmother, 'you have little or no nose, Sir.'--Now before I venture to make use of the word Nose a second time--to avoid all confusion in what will be said upon it, in this interesting part of my story, it may not be amiss to explain my own meaning, and define, with all possible exactness and precision, what I would willingly be understood to mean by the term: being of opinion, that 'tis owing to the negligence and perverseness of writers in despising this precaution, and to nothing else--that all the polemical writings in divinity are not as clear and demonstrative as those upon a Will o' the Wisp, or any other sound part of philosophy, and natural pursuit; in order to which, what have you to do, before you set out, unless you intend to go puzzling on to the day of judgment--but to give the world a good definition, and stand to it, of the main word you have most occasion for--changing it, Sir, as you would a guinea, into small coin?--which done--let the father of confusion puzzle you, if he can; or put a different idea either into your head, or your reader's head, if he knows how.

In books of strict morality and close reasoning, such as I am engaged in--the neglect is inexcusable; and Heaven is witness, how the world has revenged itself upon me for leaving so many openings to equivocal strictures--and for depending so much as I have done, all along, upon the cleanliness of my readers imaginations.

--Here are two senses, cried Eugenius, as we walk'd along, pointing with the fore finger of his right hand to the word Crevice, in the one hundred and seventy-eighth page of the first volume of this book of books,--here are two senses--quoth he.--And here are two roads, replied I, turning short upon him--a dirty and a clean one--which shall we take?--The clean, by all means, replied Eugenius. Eugenius, said I, stepping before him, and laying my hand upon his breast--to define--is to distrust.--Thus I triumph'd over Eugenius; but I triumph'd over him as I always do, like a fool.--'Tis my comfort, however, I am not an obstinate one: therefore I define a nose as follows--intreating only beforehand, and beseeching my readers, both male and female, of what age, complexion, and condition soever, for the love of God and their own souls, to guard against the temptations and suggestions of the devil, and suffer him by no art or wile to put any other ideas into their minds, than what I put into my definition--For by the word Nose, throughout all this long chapter of noses, and in every other part of my work, where the word Nose occurs--Ideclare, by that word I mean a nose, and nothing more, or less.

同类推荐
  • 乐郊私语

    乐郊私语

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 急救良方

    急救良方

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 道德真经义解

    道德真经义解

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 唐史论断

    唐史论断

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 共城从政录

    共城从政录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 修真之修仙界

    修真之修仙界

    李浩,现实生活中是一个没有固定工作的闲人。但是心肠还算不错,一次偶然的机会他进入修真界修炼。他身怀上古秘法,精通丹器炼制,而他本身也是一个强大的存在....
  • 飞仙天下记

    飞仙天下记

    这是一个灵魂的魔窟!让死人痛苦!在烈火中颤抖!在懵懵中成灰!却也给了灵魂一个机会!一天,一个残魂经过各种机缘巧合,从魔窟中走出,带着混沌的意识,带着凡躯,他是在红尘中沉沦!还是在亿万时空中纵横!大鼎震天!长生不绝!
  • 习惯解析

    习惯解析

    作为人生的追求者,茫茫人海,关键在于找到属于自己的名家导师,关键在于找到鼓舞自己的名言警句,当然,最关键的是在这些金玉良言的指导下付诸切实的行动。为此,我们荟萃了古今中外的名家巨人,其中有科技精英、文坛泰斗、艺术巨匠、政治领袖、军事将帅、思想圣哲、财富巨商、体坛英豪、影视名人、探索英雄等,汇编了这套《世界名人名言金典》。这些名言金句句句经典,字字珠玑,精辟睿智,闪耀着智慧的光芒和精神的力量,具有很强的鼓舞性、哲理性和启迪性。具有成功心理暗示和潜在力量开发的功能,不仅可以成为我们的座右铭,还能增进自律的能力。
  • 冷王独宠天降妃

    冷王独宠天降妃

    她说,就我这样的IQ&EQ,放到后宫之中能活得过两分钟都是抬举我,再说了,比起那些无聊的争风吃醋,我更宁愿尝遍天下美食,享受一路风光,然后……回家!他就这么看着她不知在想些什么,只是那微蹙的眉头不经意间泄露了他此时的心情……纵横沙场的战王,世人眼中是何等的冷情;普通平凡的姑娘,却活得自在洒脱;命运的齿轮让他们划破时空不期而遇,是缘分亦或是无奈,她一心离开却……
  • 神枪李书文

    神枪李书文

    季节已是深秋,湛蓝的天上挂着几片白云,远处的树林里传来几声有气无力的蝉鸣,放眼望去,苍茫的大地上看不到一丝丰收景象。奉天通往沧州的官道上,三匹大马疾驰而过,腾起阵阵灰尘,留下一路急促的蹄音。夕阳西下,人困马疲,三匹马不由得放慢了脚步。马背上的三个壮汉解开了胸扣,一阵凉风吹过,顿觉全身舒爽。边上的一位窄脸汉子一边抹着脸上的汗珠,一边向中间那个圆脸汉子发着牢骚:“马特使,这个黄士海究竟是何许人也,竟让袁大人这样折服,让我们不远千里前来相请?我看练兵处大人府里的几个日本和德国的洋武士就很了得,难道他比这几个洋人还厉害吗?”
  • 健商保证智慧(下)

    健商保证智慧(下)

    “健商”是健康商数的简称。它反映人的健康才智,是评估个人健康的全新方法。健商作为一种保持人身心健康的崭新理念,开启了一个激动人心、生机勃勃的全新领域,它将数千年人类智慧的结晶、现代医学的恩赐和最新的生命科学技术结合在一起,从而大大满足了个人健康的需求。
  • 冷少心尖宠:总裁别过来

    冷少心尖宠:总裁别过来

    谁说女追男隔层纱?我看这纱是纯棉加厚的吧?谁说高冷内心都是逗比?我看都是扯淡的吧?看呆萌小职员如何追到高冷总裁逆袭的!
  • 两手桃花

    两手桃花

    他叫凌阙,她叫苏梓檬,第一次见面他是山贼,她代人嫁妖。他,运筹帷幄,却为她乱了心神,爱她,护她,与她辗转相恋却又辗转错过,最后的婚礼却成了永世的诀别!她自幼孤苦混迹江湖,一丝元神将她牵扯其中,有人护她,有人杀她。为此她失去了最亲之人,可对杀他之人她却终究是下不去手。恩恩仇仇与她又有何干?无心也好,自私也罢,她只愿所有人相安无事,奈何事与愿违,终究逃不过命运的安排。他叫苏木,守她五年,护她五年,爱她一生。她知道他是元凶,那又如何,他是他,不是面具之下的人。直到最后,他将她推入万劫不复,她选择同归于尽,他最后一句却说:“是我先遇见你的,为什么…”
  • 尚书

    尚书

    《尚书》是我国最早的一部历史文献汇编,也是最早的一部历史典籍,它的“典”、“谟”、“训”、“诰”、“誓”、“命”六体,有的是讲演辞,有的是命令、宣言,有的是谈话记录。《尚书》为我们研究我国原始社会末期和夏商周奴隶社会历史,留下了珍贵的资料。
  • 乱世英雄寞

    乱世英雄寞

    九州之上,统治千年的大汉帝国,在经过数次内乱之后,终于走到了的风雨飘摇的边缘。汉失其鹿,而天下共逐之!在这即将来临的乱世之中,多少英雄豪杰竟纷沓登场,风云变色间,又有谁能留青史几章!而在这冥冥之中,一双看不见的手缓缓拨动着命运的线,天意还是阴谋,人心还是诡计?对与错,功与过,谁人说?身处乱世之中的英雄们,最终将会谱写出怎样的悲欢离合乱世悲歌!?血色映山河,恍听马蹄迫!然而尘埃落定后,又是谁在昆仑之巅,长叹英雄寂寞!