"Schottendorf was our governor and tyrant; a man who repaid the friendship he found in the mansion of my fathers--with cruelty. He was ripe for the sickle, and Time cut him off. Tormentini and Galer were his successors in office, by them we were carefully watched, but we were treated with commiseration. Their precautions rendered imprisonment less wretched. Ever shall I hold their memory sacred.
Yet, benevolent as they were, their goodness was exceeded by that of Rottensteiner, the head gaoler. He considered his prisoners as his children; and he was their benefactor. Of this I had experience, during two years after the release of Hallasch.
"Here I but cursorily describe misery, at which the monarch shall shudder, if the blood of a tyrant flow not in his veins. Theresa could not wish these things. But she was fallible, and not omniscient.
"From the above narrative, you will perceive how opposite the effects must be which the histories of Baron Trenck and of myself must produce.
"Trenck left his dungeon shielded from contempt; the day of freedom was the day of triumph. I, on the contrary, was exposed to every calamity. The spirit of Trenck again raised itself. I have laboured many a night that I might neither beg nor perish the following day: working for judges who neither knew law nor had powers of mind to behold the beauty of justice: settling accounts that, item after item, did not prove that the lord they were intended for, was an imbecile dupe.
"Trenck remembers his calamities, but the remembrance is advantageous to himself and his family; while with me, the past did but increase, did but agonise, the present and the future. He was not like me, obliged to crouch in presence of those vulgar, those incapable minds, that do but consider the bent back as the footstool of pride. Every man is too busy to act in behalf of others; pity me therefore, but advise me not to hope assistance, by petitioning princes at second hand. I know your good wishes, and, for these, Ihave nothing to return but barren thanks.--I am, &c"The reasons why I published the foregoing letters are already stated, and will appear satisfactory to the reader. Once more to affairs that concern myself.
I met at Berlin many old friends of both sexes; among others, an aged invalid came to see me, who was at Glatz, in 1746, when I cut my way through the guard. He was one of the sentinels before my door, whom I had thrown down the stairs.
The hour of quitting Berlin, and continuing my journey into Prussia, towards Konigsberg, approached. On the eve of my departure, I had the happiness of conversing with her Royal Highness the Princess Amelia, sister of Frederic the Great. She protected me in my hour of adversity; heaped benefits upon me, and contributed to gain my deliverance. She received me as a friend, as an aged patriot; and laid her commands upon me to write to my wife, and request that she would come to Berlin, in the month of June, with her two eldest daughters. I received her promise that the happiness of the latter should be her care; nay, that she would remember my wife in her will.
At this moment, when about to depart, she asked me if I had money sufficient for my journey: "Yes, madam," was my reply; "I want nothing, ask nothing; but may you remember my children!"The deep feeling with which I pronounced these words moved the princess; she showed me how she comprehended my meaning, and said, "Return, my friend, quickly: I shall be most happy to see you."I left the room: a kind of indecision came over me. I was inclined to remain longer at Berlin. Had I done so, my presence would have been of great advantage to my children. Alas! under the guidance of my evil genius, I began my journey. The purpose for which I came to Berlin was frustrated: for after my departure, the Princess Amelia died!
Peace be to thy ashes, noble princess! Thy will was good, and be that sufficient. I shall not want materials to write a commentary on the history of Frederic, when, in company with thee, I shall wander on the banks of Styx; there the events that happened on this earth may be written without danger.
So proceed we with our story.
