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第179章 Life and trust.(8)

"An aunt took me to her home.She was a kindhearted old lady,but very matter-of-fact and wholly engrossed in her housekeeping,and I told her nothing.I waited till Mr.Fleetwood sought me out,which he soon did.I saw that his family were moving heaven and earth to break off his engagement with me,and it evidently pained him deeply that he must so greatly disappoint his parents.But the consideration that weighed most with him was this:they urged upon him in every possible way that hopes had been raised in the heart of the young lady herself,and although he was always very reticent in regard to her.I think she seconded the family scheme,for the marriage would have joined two very large estates.Although my heart often stood still with fear while he apparently wavered a little,I can honestly say I left him free to make his own choice.

They persecuted and urged him to that extent,and so confused his sense of right and wrong,that,in order to escape from his dilemma,he managed to get a lieutenant's commission in the army in spite of his physician's protest,and before his family realized what they regarded as an immeasurable disaster he was in the Union ranks at the front.It HAS proved an immeasurable disaster to me.

"He came to see me before he went south,and told me that he preferred death to any other bride than myself.In sad foreboding I begged him to give me up rather than go into that awful war with his imperfect health.But he went.The rest of my story is soon told.

Life in the field seemed to brace him up every way.He wrote me that he had lived hitherto in books and dreams,and that contact with strong,forceful men was just what he needed.He wrote almost daily,and I lived on his letters.He grew strong and heroic in his exposure to danger and hardship,and won promotion on the simple ground of merit.At last,after an arduous campaign,he was slightly wounded and greatly worn,and he received a long leave of absence after the troops went into winter quarters.He wrote then that he was coming home to marry me,and no power on earth could prevent it except my 'own little self,'as he expressed it--oh!I can repeat all those letters word for word.He wrote me the very day and hour on which he would start,and I have waited ever since;and I have vowed before God that I will wait till he comes."And she bowed her head,her eyes were tearless,and she went on still more hurriedly.

"I afterwards learned from a brother officer,and also from the papers,that he left his regimental headquarters at the time he said,but that he had to ride through a region infested with guerrillas,and that is absolutely all I know.I am sure he wrote to his family of his intentions in regard to me,but they have never recognized me in the slightest way.The young lady to whom they would have married him wore mourning a year,and then was led to the alter by another man.But,as my Harrold said,God mated our souls,and Ishall wait till he joins our lives.Your name startled me greatly when I heard it last June for the first time since I had spoken it myself to one who has seemingly vanished but is ever present to me,and while you do not resemble him in appearance to any close extent,there is at times something in your expression that is singularly like his;and this fact must explain and excuse all the weak exhibitions of myself this summer.And now,my friend,permit me to say that your rather ardent words on one or two occasions never deceived me for a moment.You mistook your warm sympathy for love.I,who had seen and known the love of Harrold Fleetwood,could not make such a mistake.You do love Ida Mayhew,and she is worthy;and in no possible way could you do so much to add to my happiness,now and always,as by aiding that beautiful girl develop her new and beautiful life.Harold Van Berg,I would regard it as an insult if you ever spoke to me of love and marriage after what I have told you to-day.I shall always value your friendship very,very much,for I am now alone in the world,and I think I have found in you a friend in whom I can trust absolutely,and to whom I could go in case there should be need.Probably there never will be,for,in my simple,busy life,I have few wants.You may tell Mr.Stanton what you think best of my story after I am gone.Iregret unspeakably that he should think of me as he does,for I have learned to respect him as a true,noble-hearted gentleman.It is one more of life's strange mysteries.Mr.Van Berg,"she said,springing up,"you have made to me one pledge that you can keep--only one.You have promised to 'make me happy in my own way.'Brave Ida Mayhew caught me in her arms when I fainted last Tuesday,and she watched at my side till morning.Yes,she did;the noble and generous girl!But I promised myself the pleasure of rewarding her,if possible.Now,if you wish to do something for me that demands prompt,heroic action,scramble into a buggy and let one of Mr.Burleigh's men drive you to that old garden before she leaves it.She found her new spiritual life there,let her also find her happy earthly life in the same loved place.Not a word,but go at once if you have any regard for my feelings and wishes.As I have told my story,your sympathetic face has been more eloquent than any words,and leaves nothing to be said.I refuse to see you or speak to you again till you have fulfilled the only promise I ever asked or wished you to make,"and she left him and quickly disappeared.

Ten minutes later Van Berg was being driven towards Mr.Eltinge's place,at a speed which threatened,in case of accident,to place him beyond the use of crutches.As he rode along in front of the house he saw that Ida's old horse and low phaeton were still in the shade of the trees;therefore,dismissing his driver,he hobbled with singular alacrity across the lawn and suddenly presented himself before Mr.Eltinge and Ida,much to the surprise of the latter,who hastily wiped her eyes and sought to hide the fact that her thoughts had not been very cheerful.

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