"Well done, old fellow.I begin to have hopes of you and will order you a new dress coat at once, since you are really going in for the proprieties of life," said Steve from the music stool, with the approving nod of one who was a judge of said proprieties."Now, Rose, if you will just coach him a little in his small talk, he won't make a laughingstock of himself as he did the other night," added Steve."I don't mean his geological gabble­that was bad enough, but his chat with Emma Curtis was much worse.Tell her, Mac, and see if she doesn't think poor Emma had a right to think you a first-class bore.""I don't see why, when I merely tried to have a little sensible conversation,"began Mac with reluctance, for he had been unmercifully chaffed by his cousins, to whom his brother had betrayed him.
"What did you say? I won't laugh if I can help it," said Rose, curious to hear, for Steve's eyes were twinkling with fun.
"Well, I knew she was fond of theaters, so I tried that first and got on pretty well till I began to tell her how they managed those things in Greece.Most interesting subject, you know?""Very.Did you give her one of the choruses or a bit of Agamemnon , as you did when you described it to me?" asked Rose, keeping sober with difficulty as she recalled that serio-comic scene.
"Of course not, but I was advising her to read Prometheus when she gaped behind her fan and began to talk about Phebe.What a 'nice creature'
she was, 'kept her place,' dressed according to her station, and that sort of twaddle.I suppose it was rather rude, but being pulled up so short confused me a bit, and I said the first thing that came into my head, which was that I thought Phebe the best-dressed woman in the room because she wasn't all fuss and feathers like most of the girls.""Oh, Mac! That to Emma, who makes it the labor of her life to be always in the height of fashion and was particularly splendid that night.What did she say?" cried Rose, full of sympathy for both parties.
"She bridled and looked daggers at me."
"And what did you do?"
"I bit my tongue and tumbled out of one scrape into another.Following her example, I changed the subject by talking about the charity concert for the orphans, and when she gushed about the 'little darlings,' I advised her to adopt one and wondered why young ladies didn't do that sort of thing, instead of cuddling cats and lapdogs.""Unhappy boy! Her pug is the idol of her life, and she hates babies,"said Rose.
"More fool she! Well, she got my opinion on the subject, anyway, and she's very welcome, for I went on to say that I thought it would not only be a lovely charity, but excellent training for the time when they had little darlings of their own.No end of poor things die through the ignorance of mothers, you know," added Mac, so seriously that Rose dared not smile at what went before.
"Imagine Emma trotting round with a pauper baby under her arm instead of her cherished Toto," said Steve with an ecstatic twirl on the stool.
"Did she seem to like your advice, Monsieur Malapropos?" asked Rose, wishing she had been there.
"No, she gave a little shriek and said, 'Good gracious, Mr.Campbell, how droll you are! Take me to Mama, please,' which I did with a thankful heart.Catch me setting her pug's leg again," ended Mac with a grim shake of the head.
"Never mind.You were unfortunate in your listener that time.Don't think all girls are so foolish.I can show you a dozen sensible ones who would discuss dress reform and charity with you and enjoy Greek tragedy if you did the chorus for them as you did for me," said Rose consolingly, for Steve would only jeer.
"Give me a list of them, please, and I'll cultivate their acquaintance.
A fellow must have some reward for making a teetotum of himself.""I will with pleasure; and if you dance well they will make it very pleasant for you, and you'll enjoy parties in spite of yourself.""I cannot be a 'glass of fashion and a mold of form' like Dandy here, but I'll do my best: only, if I had my choice, I'd much rather go round the streets with an organ and a monkey," answered Mac despondently.
"Thank you kindly for the compliment," and Rose made him a low courtesy, while Steve cried, "Now you have done it!" in a tone of reproach which reminded the culprit, all too late, that he was Rose's chosen escort.
"By the gods, so I have!" And casting away the newspaper with a gesture of comic despair, Mac strode from the room, chanting tragically the words of Cassandra, " 'Woe! woe! O Earth! O Apollo! I will dare to die; I will accost the gates of Hades, and make my prayer that I may receive a mortal blow!' "
