Theron spent half an hour in aimless strolling about the streets.From earliest boyhood his mind had always worked most clearly when he walked alone.Every mental process which had left a mark upon his memory and his career--the daydreams of future academic greatness and fame which had fashioned themselves in his brain as a farm lad;the meditations, raptures, and high resolves of his student period at the seminary; the more notable sermons and powerful discourse by which he had revealed the genius that was in him to astonished and delighted assemblages--all were associated in his retrospective thoughts with solitary rambles.
He had a very direct and vivid consciousness now that it was good to be on his legs, and alone.He had never in his life been more sensible of the charm of his own companionship.
The encounter with Gorringe seemed to have cleared all the clouds out of his brain, and restored lightness to his heart.After such an object lesson, the impossibility of his continuing to sacrifice himself to a notion of duty to these low-minded and coarse-natured villagers was beyond all argument.There could no longer be any doubt about his moral right to turn his back upon them, to wash his hands of the miserable combination of hypocrisy and hysterics which they called their spiritual life.
And the question of Gorringe and Alice, that too stood precisely where he wanted it.Even in his own thoughts, he preferred to pursue it no further.
Between them somewhere an offence of concealment, it might be of conspiracy, had been committed against him.
It was no business of his to say more, or to think more.
He rested his case simply on the fact, which could not be denied, and which he was not in the least interested to have explained, one way or the other.The recollection of Gorringe's obvious disturbance of mind was especially pleasant to him.He himself had been magnanimous almost to the point of weakness.He had gone out of his way to call the man "brother," and to give him an opportunity of behaving like a gentleman; but his kindly forbearance had been wasted.Gorringe was not the man to understand generous feelings, much less rise to their level.
He had merely shown that he would be vicious if he knew how.
It was more important and satisfactory to recall that he had also shown a complete comprehension of the injured husband's grievance.The fact that he had recognized it was enough--was, in fact, everything.
In the background of his thoughts Theron had carried along a notion of going and dining with Father Forbes when the time for the evening meal should arrive.
The idea in itself attracted him, as a fitting capstone to his resolve not to go home to supper.It gave just the right kind of character to his domestic revolt.
But when at last he stood on the doorstep of the pastorate, waiting for an answer to the tinkle of the electric bell he had heard ring inside, his mind contained only the single thought that now he should hear something about Celia.
Perhaps he might even find her there; but he put that suggestion aside as slightly unpleasant.
The hag-faced housekeeper led him, as before, into the dining-room.It was still daylight, and he saw on the glance that the priest was alone at the table, with a book beside him to read from as he ate.
Father Forbes rose and came forward, greeting his visitor with profuse urbanity and smiles.If there was a perfunctory note in the invitation to sit down and share the meal, Theron did not catch it.He frankly displayed his pleasure as he laid aside his hat, and took the chair opposite his host.
"It is really only a few months since I was here, in this room, before," he remarked, as the priest closed his book and tossed it to one side, and the housekeeper came in to lay another place."Yet it might have been years, many long years, so tremendous is the difference that the lapse of time has wrought in me.""I am afraid we have nothing to tempt you very much, Mr.Ware," remarked Father Forbes, with a gesture of his plump white hand which embraced the dishes in the centre of the table."May I send you a bit of this boiled mutton?
I have very homely tastes when I am by myself.""I was saying," Theron observed, after some moments had passed in silence, "that I date such a tremendous revolution in my thoughts, my beliefs, my whole mind and character, from my first meeting with you, my first coming here.
I don't know how to describe to you the enormous change that has come over me; and I owe it all to you.""I can only hope, then, that it is entirely of a satisfactory nature," said the priest, politely smiling.
"Oh, it is so splendidly satisfactory!" said Theron, with fervor."I look back at myself now with wonder and pity.
It seems incredible that, such a little while ago, I should have been such an ignorant and unimaginative clod of earth, content with such petty ambitions and actually proud of my limitations.""And you have larger ambitions now?" asked the other.
"Pray let me help you to some potatoes.I am afraid that ambitions only get in our way and trip us up.
We clergymen are like street-car horses.The more steadily we jog along between the rails, the better it is for us.""Oh, I don't intend to remain in the ministry,"declared Theron.The statement seemed to him a little bald, now that he had made it; and as his companion lifted his brows in surprise, he added stumblingly: "That is, as I feel now, it seems to me impossible that I should remain much longer.With you, of course, it is different.
You have a thousand things to interest and pleasantly occupy you in your work and its ceremonies, so that mere belief or non-belief in the dogma hardly matters.
But in our church dogma is everything.If you take that away, or cease to have its support, the rest is intolerable, hideous."Father Forbes cut another slice of mutton for himself.
