登陆注册
5386500000052

第52章 A WOMAN WITHOUT A HEART(28)

" 'To be candid with you, I ought to explain the full scope of your promise: I want to spend this evening by your side, as if we were brother and sister. Have no fear; I am aware of your antipathies; you must have divined me sufficiently to feel sure that I should wish you to do nothing that could be displeasing to you; presumption, moreover, would not thus approach you. You have been a friend to me, you have shown me kindness and great indulgence; know, therefore, that to-morrow I must bid you farewell.--Do not take back your word,' Iexclaimed, seeing her about to speak, and I went away.

"At eight o'clock one evening towards the end of May, Foedora and Iwere alone together in her gothic boudoir. I feared no longer; I was secure of happiness. My mistress should be mine, or I would seek a refuge in death. I had condemned my faint-hearted love, and a man who acknowledges his weakness is strong indeed.

"The countess, in her blue cashmere gown, was reclining on a sofa, with her feet on a cushion. She wore an Oriental turban such as painters assign to early Hebrews; its strangeness added an indescribable coquettish grace to her attractions. A transitory charm seemed to have laid its spell on her face; it might have furnished the argument that at every instant we become new and unparalleled beings, without any resemblance to the US of the future or of the past. I had never yet seen her so radiant.

" 'Do you know that you have piqued my curiosity?' she said, laughing.

" 'I will not disappoint it,' I said quietly, as I seated myself near to her and took the hand that she surrendered to me. 'You have a very beautiful voice!'

" 'You have never heard me sing!' she exclaimed, starting involuntarily with surprise.

" 'I will prove that it is quite otherwise, whenever it is necessary.

Is your delightful singing still to remain a mystery? Have no fear, Ido not wish to penetrate it.'

"We spent about an hour in familiar talk. While I adopted the attitude and manner of a man to whom Foedora must refuse nothing, I showed her all a lover's deference. Acting in this way, I received a favor--I was allowed to kiss her hand. She daintily drew off the glove, and my whole soul was dissolved and poured forth in that kiss. I was steeped in the bliss of an illusion in which I tried to believe.

"Foedora lent herself most unexpectedly to my caress and my flatteries. Do not accuse me of faint-heartedness; if I had gone a step beyond these fraternal compliments, the claws would have been out of the sheath and into me. We remained perfectly silent for nearly ten minutes. I was admiring her, investing her with the charms she had not. She was mine just then, and mine only,--this enchanting being was mine, as was permissible, in my imagination; my longing wrapped her round and held her close; in my soul I wedded her. The countess was subdued and fascinated by my magnetic influence. Ever since I have regretted that this subjugation was not absolute; but just then Iyearned for her soul, her heart alone, and for nothing else. I longed for an ideal and perfect happiness, a fair illusion that cannot last for very long. At last I spoke, feeling that the last hours of my frenzy were at hand.

" 'Hear me, madame. I love you, and you know it; I have said so a hundred times; you must have understood me. I would not take upon me the airs of a coxcomb, nor would I flatter you, nor urge myself upon you like a fool; I would not owe your love to such arts as these! so Ihave been misunderstood. What sufferings have I not endured for your sake! For these, however, you were not to blame; but in a few minutes you shall decide for yourself. There are two kinds of poverty, madame.

One kind openly walks the street in rags, an unconscious imitator of Diogenes, on a scanty diet, reducing life to its simplest terms; he is happier, maybe, than the rich; he has fewer cares at any rate, and accepts such portions of the world as stronger spirits refuse. Then there is poverty in splendor, a Spanish pauper, concealing the life of a beggar by his title, his bravery, and his pride; poverty that wears a white waistcoat and yellow kid gloves, a beggar with a carriage, whose whole career will be wrecked for lack of a halfpenny. Poverty of the first kind belongs to the populace; the second kind is that of blacklegs, of kings, and of men of talent. I am neither a man of the people, nor a king, nor a swindler; possibly I have no talent either, I am an exception. With the name I bear I must die sooner than beg.

Set your mind at rest, madame,' I said; 'to-day I have abundance, Ipossess sufficient of the clay for my needs'; for the hard look passed over her face which we wear whenever a well-dressed beggar takes us by surprise. 'Do you remember the day when you wished to go to the Gymnase without me, never believing that I should be there?' I went on.

"She nodded.

" 'I had laid out my last five-franc piece that I might see you there.

--Do you recollect our walk in the Jardin des Plantes? The hire of your cab took everything I had.'

"I told her about my sacrifices, and described the life I led; heated not with wine, as I am to-day, but by the generous enthusiasm of my heart, my passion overflowed in burning words; I have forgotten how the feelings within me blazed forth; neither memory nor skill of mine could possibly reproduce it. It was no colorless chronicle of blighted affections; my love was strengthened by fair hopes; and such words came to me, by love's inspiration, that each had power to set forth a whole life--like echoes of the cries of a soul in torment. In such tones the last prayers ascend from dying men on the battlefield. Istopped, for she was weeping. GRAND DIEU! I had reaped an actor's reward, the success of a counterfeit passion displayed at the cost of five francs paid at the theatre door. I had drawn tears from her.

" 'If I had known----' she said.

" 'Do not finish the sentence,' I broke in. 'Even now I love you well enough to murder you----'

"She reached for the bell-pull. I burst into a roar of laughter.

同类推荐
  • 齐谐记

    齐谐记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 林泉老人评唱丹霞淳禅师颂古虚堂集

    林泉老人评唱丹霞淳禅师颂古虚堂集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 西山亮禅师语录

    西山亮禅师语录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 诸子辩

    诸子辩

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 寓意草

    寓意草

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 国民男神又又又考第一了

    国民男神又又又考第一了

    她,苗疆巫族的族长,重生成人人可欺的小可怜。翻身崛起,带着自己的本命蛊,玩转整个商圈、娱乐圈,成为女人心中的国民男神。只是不小心撩到钻石榜第一的钻石男!这就栽了!某日。“我要去做一件事。”她把装备弄好,脸上有着肃杀之色。“嗯?”男人微微挑眉。“有人出十亿钱买你的命。”“你要去帮我报仇?”某男心想还是媳妇疼爱自己。“不是,他出了一亿买我的命,而买你的,却出十亿!”她拉过他的衣领,“明明我才是爷,凭什么我比你少那么多!所以,我要送他去见阎王!”-作者新文《我家影后A爆了!》求支持!
  • 曲律

    曲律

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 纨绔女帝夺天下

    纨绔女帝夺天下

    “夫人。”某男强行抱住了某女。“什么事?妖孽。”“为夫这张俊颜生痘痘了……”某男一脸忧伤。“嗯,那不很好?省得你到处自恋犯贱耍流氓。”“冤枉啊,自恋是因为有你,犯贱是因为你那倾国倾城的容颜。”“……”某女一头黑线,“所以呢?”……异世大陆,以武为尊,为了自由,从废柴到绝世高手,人神魔,挡道者,格杀勿论!
  • 篮球皇帝

    篮球皇帝

    黄翔,从小酷爱篮球的小孩,因家庭关系几度放弃但最终又走上篮球之路,最开始战斗在中国CUBA战场,最终进入梦想战场NBA,他是世界新一代锋卫摇摆人,他也是为了朋友两肋插刀的热血青年…………翻滚的篮球,目标直指篮筐。打破中国锋卫鸡肋常理,绝对精彩篮球竞技小说。
  • 一拽清天下

    一拽清天下

    【完结】[幽默版清穿]★清你妹啊!也不知道做了什么孽,一场飞机失事,南宫瑶既然穿到了‘康熙四十五年!’★苦苦穿越过来,只为安心的度过下半生,没想到却无缘无故的搅入了‘九子夺嫡’之争。这场狗血历史,只能用两个字形容‘坑爹’啊!不过这康熙的儿子们各个都是文武全才。本想忽悠一个,拐回家里做夫君,不过这仔细一看,还是算了吧!四阿哥天天板着个木头脸,像谁欠他八百吊似得!那个八阿哥,天天和她作对,一副气死人不偿命样子。太子更是废材一个,九阿哥看着倒是不错,不过却不是我的菜!三次逃离皇宫,三次调换身份,终究还是摆脱不了自己命运。★“丫的,兔八哥,怎么又是你?!我是不是注定要在你这颗歪脖树上吊死了?”
  • 通往未来的门

    通往未来的门

    珍妮一直都是按照自己的规则生活的。她喜欢大自然,喜欢自由自在的生活,经常带着一只神秘的白羊到田野游荡。直到她遇见了一个在山顶守护石堆千年,不知自己未来在何处的男孩。命运以一种难以预料的方式让他们交织在一起,改变了珍妮和整个家庭的生活。是什么让男孩不惜牺牲自己的性命守护石堆千年?为什么白羊想让男孩离开石堆?石堆下究竟埋藏着什么?当人类的生命和原生自然的回归发生冲突,珍妮该何去何从?他们的未来在哪里……
  • 将军伶

    将军伶

    我是新的将军,我是老的伶人,战场千里裹黄沙,一支长枪露寒芒。权利是谋略的战场,老将军的死,我终将查清楚。
  • 天上星辰地上沙砾

    天上星辰地上沙砾

    我只愿如地上沙砾一般平凡普通,未曾想爱上天上星辰一般耀眼的人,不同轨迹的两人,相遇是缘分还是偶然?
  • 寒裂苍穹

    寒裂苍穹

    几世轮回,主角向寒被宿命选中,带到了阔别亿万年的异世大陆。无数次的生离死别,无数回的欢笑羁绊,他的眼睛愈发腥红,心却是逐渐清晰。“我尊重以及敬畏一切生命,但必要的时候,我会夺取它,这就是万物生存的法则,异界的法则,我的法则。”
  • 魇岛

    魇岛

    医院里发生了一场暴乱,一个意外,一场爆炸,当他们醒来时,竟来无缘无故被送到了一个荒岛上,岛的名字,叫魇。在这里,他们遇上了一系列的怪事,他们为了解开岛屿之谜,且离开岛屿,经历着一个又一个的磨难……