登陆注册
5419900000014

第14章

When you tell me you're perfection, Tender, truthful, true, and comely--That in quarrel no one's bolder, Though dissensions always grieve you--Why, my love, you're so much older That, of course, I must believe you!

CHORUS.Yes, of course, she must believe you!

CHORUS.

If he ever acts unkindly, Shut your eyes and love him blindly--Should he call you names uncomely, Shut your mouth and love him dumbly--Should he rate you, rightly--leftly--Shut your ears and love him deafly.

Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

Thus and thus and thus alone Ludwig's wife may hold her own!

(LUDWIG and LISA sit at table.)

Enter NOTARY TANNHAUSER.

NOT.Hallo! Surely I'm not late? (All chatter unintelligibly in reply.)NOT.But, dear me, you're all at breakfast! Has the wedding taken place? (All chatter unintelligibly in reply.)NOT.My good girls, one at a time, I beg.Let me understand the situation.As solicitor to the conspiracy to dethrone the Grand Duke--a conspiracy in which the members of this company are deeply involved--I am invited to the marriage of two of its members.I present myself in due course, and I find, not only that the ceremony has taken place--which is not of the least consequence --but the wedding breakfast is half eaten--which is a consideration of the most serious importance.

(LUDWIG and LISA come down.)

LUD.But the ceremony has not taken place.We can't get a parson!

NOT.Can't get a parson! Why, how's that? They're three a penny!

LUD.Oh, it's the old story--the Grand Duke!

ALL.Ugh!

LUD.It seems that the little imp has selected this, our wedding day, for a convocation of all the clergy in the town to settle the details of his approaching marriage with the enormously wealthy Baroness von Krakenfeldt, and there won't be a parson to be had for love or money until six o'clock this evening!

LISA.And as we produce our magnificent classical revival of Troilus and Cressida to-night at seven, we have no alternative but to eat our wedding breakfast before we've earned it.So sit down, and make the best of it.

GRET.Oh, I should like to pull his Grand Ducal ears for him, that I should! He's the meanest, the cruellest, the most spiteful little ape in Christendom!

OLGA.Well, we shall soon be freed from his tyranny.

To-morrow the Despot is to be dethroned!

LUD.Hush, rash girl! You know not what you say.

OLGA.Don't be absurd! We're all in it--we're all tiled, here.

LUD.That has nothing to do with it.Know ye not that in alluding to our conspiracy without having first given and received the secret sign, you are violating a fundamental principle of our Association?

SONG--LUDWIG.

By the mystic regulation Of our dark Association, Ere you open conversation With another kindred soul, You must eat a sausage-roll! (Producing one.)ALL.You must eat a sausage-roll!

LUD.If, in turn, he eats another, That's a sign that he's a brother--Each may fully trust the other.

It is quaint and it is droll, But it's bilious on the whole.

ALL.Very bilious on the whole.

LUD.It's a greasy kind of pasty, Which, perhaps, a judgement hasty Might consider rather tasty:

Once (to speak without disguise)

It found favour in our eyes.

ALL.It found favour in our eyes.

LUD.But when you've been six months feeding (As we have) on this exceeding Bilious food, it's no ill-breeding If at these repulsive pies Our offended gorges rise!

ALL.Our offended gorges rise!

MARTHA.Oh, bother the secret sign! I've eaten it until I'm quite uncomfortable! I've given it six times already to-day--and (whimpering) I can't eat any breakfast!

BERTHA.And it's so unwholesome.Why, we should all be as yellow as frogs if it wasn't for the make-up!

LUD.All this is rank treason to the cause.I suffer as much as any of you.I loathe the repulsive thing--I can't contemplate it without a shudder--but I'm a conscientious conspirator, and if you won't give the sign I will.(Eats sausage-roll with an effort.)LISA.Poor martyr! He's always at it, and it's a wonder where he puts it!

NOT.Well now, about Troilus and Cressida.What do you play?

LUD.(struggling with his feelings).If you'll be so obliging as to wait until I've got rid of this feeling of warm oil at the bottom of my throat, I'll tell you all about it.

(LISA gives him some brandy.) Thank you, my love; it's gone.

Well, the piece will be produced upon a scale of unexampled magnificence.It is confidently predicted that my appearance as King Agamemnon, in a Louis Quatorze wig, will mark an epoch in the theatrical annals of Pfennig Halbpfennig.I endeavoured to persuade Ernest Dummkopf, our manager, to lend us the classical dresses for our marriage.Think of the effect of a real Athenian wedding procession cavorting through the streets of Speisesaal!

Torches burning--cymbals banging--flutes tootling--citharae twanging--and a throng of fifty lovely Spartan virgins capering before us, all down the High Street, singing "Eloia! Eloia!

Opoponax, Eloia!" It would have been tremendous!

NOT.And he declined?

LUD.He did, on the prosaic ground that it might rain, and the ancient Greeks didn't carry umbrellas! If, as is confidently expected, Ernest Dummkopf is elected to succeed the dethroned one, mark any words, he will make a mess of it.

[Exit LUDWIG with LISA.

OLGA.He's sure to be elected.His entire company has promised to plump for him on the understanding that all the places about the Court are filled by members of his troupe, according to professional precedence.

ERNEST enters in great excitement.

BERTHA (looking off).Here comes Ernest Dummkopf.Now we shall know all about it!

ALL.Well--what's the news? How is the election going?

ERN.Oh, it's a certainty--a practical certainty! Two of the candidates have been arrested for debt, and the third is a baby in arms--so, if you keep your promises, and vote solid, I'm cocksure of election!

OLGA.Trust to us.But you remember the conditions?

ERN.Yes--all of you shall be provided for, for life.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 傲娇总裁带回家

    傲娇总裁带回家

    “咔擦——”黑暗中闪出一点火光,随后熄灭,香烟的味道随即散发出来。坐在沙发上久久沉默的男子终于开口说话:“这么说,白乐雅逃婚了,白家把你给弄来当顶替新娘?”
  • 不久不久现在即可

    不久不久现在即可

    圆梦者,乃知前世今生守梦者,只在你我之间是圆,是守,只在生死之间是你,是我,只听彼岸之花前世,你只愿圆,我只望守何时才能相伴今生,我只愿圆,你只望守何时才能相知
  • Man and Wife

    Man and Wife

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 迦勒底所长

    迦勒底所长

    试问,在fate世界中,除了蓝色枪兵以及Stellaer以外还有什么高危职业呢?没错,就是迦勒底的所长,死亡率100%,虽然样数只有2,但是从这两位的死都并非是自然死亡来看,就足以证明不是什么好活。“莱瑞,组织上决定就由你来接任所长一职,好好干吧!”端着茶杯的奸商达芬奇如此说道。“什么组织上的决定明明就是你一个人决定的吧!独裁专制反对!”“总之你先去把人理烧却的问题解决了再说这些如何?”以日服FGO剧情进度为基础(只玩国服会存在大量剧透)后面会加入时计塔的内容(《君主·埃尔梅罗二世事件簿》)仅限于Fate世界,不会加入TYPE-MOON社旗下其他作品内容群:611395119(迦勒底干员集会)
  • 走出心理的误区大全集

    走出心理的误区大全集

    我们每个人既相同又不同,我们每天都在忙忙碌碌地生活,我们的内心每天都在上演着喜怒哀乐、悲欢离合的故事。怎样才能消除那些有损健康的消极心理,使自己时刻都生活在快乐幸福之中呢?本书运用通俗、简练的语言,结合大量的实例,从众多角度阐述了现代人常见的各种不良心理,介绍了相应的心理治疗方法,以期能给各位读者带来切实的帮助。
  • 我家丑妃超萌哒

    我家丑妃超萌哒

    小妆书友群:117836256。天才碰麻瓜,谁输谁躺下!据说在某个月黑风高的夜里,某丑颜女子两手掐着美男的脖子,小眼神阴阴狠狠地:“躺好!”绝代美男含羞答答地揪紧衣服:“不要!”某丑女手脚并用砰砰砰碰碰碰地将美男整个撂倒,恶狠狠地威胁道:“下次再不听话地出去打打杀杀,小心爷毁了你的貌美如花!”
  • 浩气长留天地间

    浩气长留天地间

    2009年年初,台湾出现了少见的寒冷天气。一月十一日,择吉日历显示是个诸事不宜的不祥之日。这一天早上,台湾历史博物馆前馆长何浩天先生像往常一样,吃完早饭,稍事休息,就走进书房,展纸泼墨。这几乎是这位90岁高龄的老人每天必做的“功课”。夫人周建藩劝先生:天寒手冻,少写几张。丈夫笑笑说:“你看,我已经写得出汗了。”晚上,泡完脚,上床休息,印尼籍的女佣为老先生按摩,夫人在一旁看着,不见有什么异样,略有不同的是,老先生觉得晚上一个人在屋里感到很冷清,希望有两三个人和他说说话,陪陪他。说是这么说,但不一会儿他就安然睡去,还传出均匀的鼾声。
  • 未来在磨砺中生辉(培养学生心灵成长的经典故事)

    未来在磨砺中生辉(培养学生心灵成长的经典故事)

    在这套丛书里,我们针对青少年的心理特点,专门选择了一些特殊的故事,分别对他们在这一时期将会遭遇的情感问题、生活问题、学习问题、交友问题以及各种心理健康问题,从心理学的角度进行剖析和讲解,并提出了解决问题的方法和措施,以供同学们参考借鉴。
  • 三国机密(马天宇、韩东君主演)

    三国机密(马天宇、韩东君主演)

    马天宇、韩东君、万茜、董洁等人主演古装权谋谍战大剧《三国机密之潜龙在渊》3月27日开播。龙难日:东汉末年,灵帝宠妃王美人诞下双生子,因遭何皇后迫害,对外称只生一子刘协,另一儿子刘平则被人偷偷带出。十八年后,一批效忠汉室的志士谨遵献帝临终前嘱托,从温县司马防家秘密迎立献帝的同胞弟弟刘平入宫,命运的齿轮开始运转。潜龙在渊:建安五年,官渡之战拉开序幕。献帝深入官渡战地,曹丕鼎力相随,多次绝处逢生。曹袁两军战况胶着不断,却不知背后操纵者竟是沉迷酒色的郭嘉和隐居东山的蜚先生,只因多年前一场爱恨情仇让二人结下积怨。究竟谁才是终结这场战争的真正王者?
  • 人生处处充满选择

    人生处处充满选择

    精选名人经典演讲:本书精选奥巴马、乔布斯、马克伯格、J.K.罗琳等现当代名人演讲,他们现身说法,通俗易懂地讲述了他们在人生中的选择与处世之道,给人以极大的启示和借鉴意义。过去的选择造就了你现在的一切,现在的选择就是你未来的命运。如果你知道去哪儿,全世界都会为你让路。