But length of time,and successive care in our alliances,have cured this also,and reduced our faces into that tolerable oval which we enjoy at present.I would not be tedious in this discourse,but cannot but observe that our race suffered very much about three hundred years ago,by the marriage of one of our heiresses with an eminent courtier,who gave us spindle-shanks and cramps in our bones;insomuch,that we did not recover our health and legs till Sir Walter Bickerstaff married Maud the milkmaid,of whom the then Garter King-at-Arms,a facetious person,said pleasantly enough,"that she had spoiled our blood,but mended our constitutions."After this account of the effect our prudent choice of matches has had upon our persons and features,I cannot but observe that there are daily instances of as great changes made by marriage upon men's minds and humours.One might wear any passion out of a family by culture,as skilful gardeners blot a colour out of a tulip that hurts its beauty.One might produce an affable temper out of a shrew,by grafting the mild upon the choleric;or raise a jack-pudding from a prude,by inoculating mirth and melancholy.It is for want of care in the disposing of our children,with regard to our bodies and minds,that we go into a house and see such different complexions and humours in the same race and family.But to me it is as plain as a pikestaff,from what mixture it is that this daughter silently lours,the other steals a kind look at you,a third is exactly well behaved,a fourth a splenetic,and a fifth a coquette.
In this disposal of my sister,I have chosen with an eye to her being a wit,and provided that the bridegroom be a man of a sound and excellent judgment,who will seldom mind what she says when she begins to harangue,for Jenny's only imperfection is an admiration of her parts,which inclines her to be a little,but very little,sluttish;and you are ever to remark that we are apt to cultivate most,and bring into observation what we think most excellent in ourselves,or most capable of improvement.Thus,my sister,instead of consulting her glass and her toilet for an hour and a half after her private devotion,sits with her nose full of snuff and a man's nightcap on her head,reading plays and romances.Her wit she thinks her distinction,therefore knows nothing of the skill of dress,or making her person agreeable.It would make you laugh to see me often,with my spectacles on,lacing her stays,for she is so very a wit,that she understands no ordinary thing in the world.
For this reason I have disposed of her to a man of business,who will soon let her see that to be well dressed,in good humour,and cheerful in the command of her family,are the arts and sciences of female life.I could have bestowed her upon a fine gentleman,who extremely admired her wit,and would have given her a coach and six,but I found it absolutely necessary to cross the strain;for had they met,they had entirely been rivals in discourse,and in continual contention for the superiority of understanding,and brought forth critics,pedants,or pretty good poets.As it is,Iexpect an offspring fit for the habitation of the city,town or country;creatures that are docile and tractable in whatever we put them to.
To convince men of the necessity of taking this method,let any one even below the skill of an astrologer,behold the turn of faces he meets as soon as he passes Cheapside Conduit,and you see a deep attention and a certain unthinking sharpness in every countenance.
They look attentive,but their thoughts are engaged on mean purposes.To me it is very apparent,when I see a citizen pass by,whether his head is upon woollen,silks,iron,sugar,indigo,or stocks.Now this trace of thought appears or lies hid in the race for two or three generations.
I know at this time a person of a vast estate,who is the immediate descendant of a fine gentleman,but the great grandson of a broker,in whom his ancestor is now revived.He is a very honest gentleman in his principles,but cannot for his blood talk fairly;he is heartily sorry for it;but he cheats by constitution,and over-reaches by instinct.
The happiness of the man who marries my sister will be,that he has no faults to correct in her but her own,a little bias of fancy,or particularity of manners which grew in herself,and can be amended by her.From such an untainted couple we can hope to have our family rise to its ancient splendour of face,air,countenance,manner,and shape,without discovering the product of ten nations in one house.Obadiah Greenhat says,"he never comes into any company in England,but he distinguishes the different nations of which we are composed."There is scarce such a living creature as a true Briton.We sit down,indeed,all friends,acquaintance,and neighbours;but after two bottles you see a Dane start up and swear,"the kingdom is his own."A Saxon drinks up the whole quart,and swears he will dispute that with him.A Norman tells them both,he will assert his liberty;and a Welshman cries,"They are all foreigners and intruders of yesterday,"and beats them out of the room.Such accidents happen frequently among neighbours'children,and cousin-germans.For which reason I say study your race,or the soil of your family will dwindle into cits or 'squires,or run up into wits or madmen.
