We put up at the inn in a village just at nightfall,and when I rose next morning and looked abroad,I was ware where a knight came riding in the golden glory of the new day,and recognized him for knight of mine --Sir Ozana le Cure Hardy.He was in the gentlemen's furnishing line,and his missionarying specialty was plug hats.He was clothed all in steel,in the beautifulest armor of the time --up to where his helmet ought to have been;but he hadn't any helmet,he wore a shiny stove-pipe hat,and was ridiculous a spectacle as one might want to see.It was another of my surreptitious schemes for extinguishing knighthood by making it grotesque and absurd.Sir Ozana's saddle was hung about with leather hat boxes,and every time he overcame a wandering knight he swore him into my service and fitted him with a plug and made him wear it.I dressed and ran down to welcome Sir Ozana and get his news.
"How is trade?"I asked.
"Ye will note that I have but these four left;yet were they sixteen whenas I got me from Camelot.""Why,you have certainly done nobly,Sir Ozana.Where have you been foraging of late?""I am but now come from the Valley of Holiness,please you sir.""I am pointed for that place myself.Is there anything stirring in the monkery,more than common?""By the mass ye may not question it!....Give him good feed,boy,and stint it not,an thou valuest thy crown;so get ye lightly to the stable and do even as I bid......Sir,it is parlous news I bring,and --be these pilgrims?Then ye may not do better,good folk,than gather and hear the tale I have to tell,sith it concerneth you,forasmuch as ye go to find that ye will not find,and seek that ye will seek in vain,my life being hostage for my word,and my word and message being these,namely:That a hap has happened whereof the like has not been seen no more but once this two hundred years,which was the first and last time that that said misfortune strake the holy valley in that form by commandment of the Most High whereto by reasons just and causes thereunto contributing,wherein the matter --""The miraculous fount hath ceased to flow!"This shout burst from twenty pilgrim mouths at once.
"Ye say well,good people.I was verging to it,even when ye spake.
"Has somebody been washing again?"
"Nay,it is suspected,but none believe it.It is thought to be some other sin,but none wit what.""How are they feeling about the calamity?""None may describe it in words.The fount is these nine days dry.The prayers that did begin then,and the lamentations in sackcloth and ashes,and the holy processions,none of these have ceased nor night nor day;and so the monks and the nuns and the foundlings be all exhausted,and do hang up prayers writ upon parchment,sith that no strength is left in man to lift up voice.And at last they sent for thee,Sir Boss,to try magic and enchantment;and if you could not come,then was the messenger to fetch Merlin,and he is there these three days now,and saith he will fetch that water though he burst the globe and wreck its kingdoms to accomplish it;and right bravely doth he work his magic and call upon his hellions to hie them hither and help,but not a whiff of moisture hath he started yet,even so much as might qualify as mist upon a copper mirror an ye count not the barrel of sweat he sweateth betwixt sun and sun over the dire labors of his task;and if ye --"Breakfast was ready.As soon as it was over I showed to Sir Ozana these words which I had written on the inside of his hat:Chemical Department,Laboratory extension,Section G.Pxxp.Send two of first size,two of No.
3,and six of No.4,together with the proper complementary details --and two of my trained assistants."And I said:
"Now get you to Camelot as fast as you can fly,brave knight,and show the writing to Clarence,and tell him to have these required matters in the Valley of Holiness with all possible dispatch.""I will well,Sir Boss,"and he was off.
