登陆注册
5820200000013

第13章 The P.C. and P.

As spring came on, a new set of amusements became the fashion, andthe lengthening days gave long afternoons for work and play of all sorts. The garden had to be put in order, and each sister had a quarter of the little plot to do what she liked with. Hannah used to say, "I'd know which each of them gardings belonged to, ef I see 'em in Chiny;" and so she might, for the girls' tastes differed as much as their characters. Meg's had roses and heliotrope, myrtle, and a little orange tree in it. Jo's bed was never alike two seasons, for she was always trying experiments; this year it was to be a plantation of sunflowers, the seeds of which cheerful land aspiring plant were to feed "Aunt Cockle-top" and her family of chicks. Beth had old-fashioned, fragrant flowers in her garden—sweet peas and mignonette, larkspur, pinks, pansies, and southernwood, with chickweed for the birds, and catnip for the pussies. Amy had a bower in hers—rather small and earwiggy, but very pretty to look at—with honeysuckle and morning glories hanging their colored horns and bells in graceful wreaths all over it; tall white lilies, delicate ferns, and as many brilliant, picturesque plants as would consent to blossom there.

Gardening, walks, rows on the river, and flower hunts employed the fine days; and for rainy ones they had house diversions, some old, some new—all more or less original. One of these was the "P.C", for, as secret societies were the fashion, it was thought proper to have one; and, as all of the girls admired Dickens, they called themselves the Pickwick Club. With a few interruptions, they had kept this up for a year, and met every Saturday evening in the big garret, on which occasions the ceremonies were as follows: Three chairs were arranged in a row before a table, on which was a lamp, also four white badges, with a big "P.C." in different colors on each, and the weekly newspaper, called, The Pickwick Portfolio, to which all contributed something; while Jo, who reveled in pens and ink, was the editor. At seven o'clock the four members ascended to the clubroom, tied their badges round their heads, and took their seats with great solemnity. Meg, as the eldest, was Samuel Pickwick; Jo, being of a literary turn, Augustus Snodgrass; Beth, because she was round and rosy, Tracy Tupman; and Amy, who was always trying to do what she couldn't, was Nathaniel Winkle. Pickwick, the president, read the paper, which was filled with original tales, poetry, local news, funny advertisements, and hints, in which they good-naturedly reminded each other of their faults and shortcomings. On one occasion Mr. Pickwick put on a pair of spectacles without any glass, rapped upon the table, hemmed, and, having stared hard at Mr. Snodgrass, who was tilting back in his chair till he arranged himself properly, began to read:

THE PICKWICK PORTFOLIO MAY 20, 18 —

Poet's Corner.

ANNIVERSARY ODE.

————

Again we meet to celebrate With badge and solemn rite, Our fifty-second anniversary, In Pickwick Hall, to-night.

We all are here in perfect health, None gone from our small band:Again we see each well-known face, And press each friendly hand.

Our Pickwick, always at his post, With reverence we greet,

As, spectacles on nose, he reads Our well-filled weekly sheet.

Although he suffers from a cold, We joy to hear him speak,

For words of wisdom from him fall, In spite of croak or squeak.

Old six-foot Snodgrass looms on high, With elephantine grace,

And beams upon the company,With brown and jovial face.

Poetic fire lights up his eye,He struggles 'gainst his lot.

Behold ambition on his brow,And on his nose, a blot!

Next our peaceful Tupman comes, So rosy, plump, and sweet,

Who chokes with laughter at the puns,

And tumbles off his seat.

Prim little Winkle too is here,With every hair in place,

A model of propriety,Though he hates to wash his face.

The year is gone, we still unite To joke and laugh and read, And tread the path of literature That doth to glory lead.

Long may our paper prosper well, Our club unbroken be,

And coming years their blessings pour

On the useful, gay "P. C.".

A. SNODGRASS.

?

THE MASKED MARRIAGE

ATALE OF VENICE

————

Gondola after gondola swept up to the marble steps, and left its lovely load to swell the brilliant throng that filled the stately halls of Count Adelon. Knights and ladies, elves and pages, monks and flower girls, all mingled gaily in the dance. Sweet voices and rich melody filled the air; and so with mirth and music the masquerade went on.

"Has your Highness seen the Lady viola tonight?" asked a gallant troubadour of the fairy queen who floated down the hall upon his arm.

"Yes, is she not lovely, though so sad! Her dress is well chosen, too, for in a week she weds Count Antonio, whom she passionately hates."

"By my faith, I envy him. Yonder he comes, arrayed like a bridegroom, except the black mask. When that is off we shall see how he regards the fair maid whose heart he cannot win, though her stern father bestows her hand,"returned the troubadour.

"Tis whispered that she loves the young English artist who haunts her steps, and is spurned by the old Count," said the lady, as they joined the dance.

The revel was at its height when a priest appeared, and withdrawing the young pair to an alcove, hung with purple velvet, he motioned them to kneel. Instant silence fell on the gay throng; and not a sound, but he dash of fountains or the rustle of orange groves sleeping in the moonlight, broke the hush, as Count deAdelon spoke thus—

"My lords and ladies, pardon the ruse by which I have gathered you here to witness the marriage of my daughter. Father, we wait your services."

All eyes turned toward the bridal party, and a murmur of amazement went through the throng, for neither bride nor groom removed their masks. Curiosity and wonder possessed all hearts, but respect restrained all tongues till the holy rite was over. Then the eager spectators gathered round the count, demanding an explanation.

"Gladly would I give it if I could; but I only know that it was the whim of my timid Viola, and I yielded to it. Now, my children, let the play end. Unmask and receive my blessing."

But neither bent the knee; for the young bridegroom replied in a tone that startled all listeners as the mask fell, disclosing the noble face of Ferdinand Devereux, the artist lover; and, leaning on the breast where now flashed the star of an English earl was the lovely Viola, radiant with joy and beauty.

"My lord, you scornfully bade me claim your daughter when I could boast as high a name and vast a fortune as the Count Antonio. I can do more, for even your ambitious soul cannot refuse the Earl of Devereux and De Vere, when he gives his ancient name and boundless wealth in return for the beloved hand of this fair lady, now my wife."

The count stood like one changed to stone, and turning to the bewildered crowd, Ferdinand added, with a gay smile of triumph, "To you, my gallant friends, I can only wish that your wooing may prosper as mine has done; and that you may all win as fair a bride as I have by this masked marriage."

S. PICKWICK.

?

WhyistheP.C.liketheTowerofBabel? It is full of unruly members.

?

THE HISTORY OF A SQUASH ————

Once upon a time a farmer planted a little seed in his garden, and after a while it sprouted and became a vine and bore many squashes. One day in October, when they were ripe, he picked one and took it to market. A gorcerman bought and put it in his shop. That same morning, a little girl in a brown hat and blue dress, with a round face and snub nose, went and bought it for her mother. She lugged it home, cut it up, and boiled it in the big pot; mashed some of it salt and butter, for dinner. And to the rest she added a pint of milk, two eggs, four spoons of sugar, nutmeg, and some crackers; put it in a deep dish, and baked it till it was brown and nice; and next day it was eaten by a family named March.

T. TUPMAN.

?

Mr. Pickwick, Sir:—

I address you upon the subject of sin the sinner I mean is a man named Winkle who makes trouble in his club by laughing and sometimes won't write his piece in this fine paper I hope you will pardon his badness and let him send a French fable because he can't write out of his head as he has so many lessons to do and no brains in future I will try to take time by the fetlock and prepare some work which will be all commy La fo that means all right I am in haste as it is nearly school time

Yours respectably, N. WINKLE

[The above is a manly and handsome aknowledgment of past misdemeanors. If our young friend studied punctuation, it would be well.]

?

A SAD ACCIDENT

————

On Friday last we were startled by a violent shock in our basement, followed by cries of distress. On rushing, in a body, to the cellar, we discovered our beloved President prostrate on the floor, having tripped and fallen while getting wood for domestic purposes. A perfect scene of ruin met our eyes; for in his fall Mr. Pickwick had plunged his head and shoulders into a tub of water, upset a keg of soft soap upon his manly form, and torn his garments badly. On being removed from this perilous situation, it was discovered that he had suffered no injury but several bruises; and, we are happy to add, is now doing well.

ED.

?

The Public Bereavement

It is our painful duty to record the sudden and mysterious disappearance of our cherished friend, Mrs. Snowball Pat Paw. This lovely and beloved cat was the pet of a large circle of warm and admiring friends; for her beauty attracted all eyes, her graces and virtues endeared her to all hearts, and her loss is deeply felt by the whole community.

When last seen, she was sitting at the gate, watching the butcher's cart; and it is feared that some villain, tempted by her charms, basely stole her. Weeks have passed, but no trace of her has been discovered; and we relinquish all hope, tie a black ribbon to her basket, set aside her dish, and weep for her as one lost to us forever.

A sympathizing friend sends the following gem:—

A LAMENT.

FOR S. B. PAT PAW.

————

We mourn the loss of our little pet, And sigh o'er her hapless fate,

For never more by the fire she'll sit, Nor play by the old green gate.

The little grave where her infant sleeps Is 'neath the chestnut tree.

But o'er her grave we may not weep, We know not where it may be.

Her empty bed, her idle ball,Will never see her more;

No gentle tap, no loving purr Is heard at the parlor door.

Another cat comes after her mice, A cat with a dirty face,

But she does not hunt as our darling did,Nor play with her airy grace.

Her stealthy paws tread the very hall Where Snowball used to play,But she only spits at the dogs our pet So gallantly drove away.

She is useful and mild, and does her best,But she is not fair to see;

And we cannot give her your place dear,Nor worship her as we worship thee.

A.S.

ADVERTISEMENTS.

————

MISS ORANTHY BLUGGAGE,the accomplished Strong-Minded lecturer, will deliver her famous Lecture on "WOMAN AND HER POSITION," at Pickwick Hall, next Saturday Evening, after the usual performances.

A WEEKLY MEETING will be held at Kitchen place, to teach young ladies how to cook. Hannah Brown will preside, and all are invited to attend.

THE DUSTPAN SOCIETY will meet on Wednesday next, and parade in the upper story of the Club House. All members to appear in uniform and shoulder their brooms at nine precisely.

MRS. BETH BOUNCER will open her new assortment of Doll's Millinery next week. The latest Paris Fashions have arrived, and orders are respectfully solicited.

A NEW PLAY will appear at the Barnville Theatre, in the course of a few weeks, which will surpass anything ever seen on the American stage. "THE GREEK SLAVE, or Constantine the Avenger, is the name of this thrilling drama"!!!

?

HINTS.

If S.P. didn't use so much soap on his hands, he wouldn't always be late at breakfast. A.S. is requested not to whistle in the street. T.T. please don't forget Amy's napkin. A.W. must not fret because his dress has not nine tucks.

WEEKLY REPORT

Meg — Good.

Jo — Bad.

Beth — Very Good.

Amy — Middling.

As the President finished reading the paper (which I beg leave to assure my readers is a bona fide copy of one written by bona fide girls once upon a time), a round of applause followed and then Mr. Snodgrass rose to make a proposition.

"Mr. President and gentlemen," he began, assuming a parliamentary attitude and tone, "I wish to propose the admission of a new member—one who highly deserves the honor, would be deeply grateful for it, and would add immensely to the spirit of the club, the literary value of the paper, and be no end jolly and nice. I propose Mr. Theodore Laurence as an honorary member of the P. C. Come now, do have him."

Jo's sudden change of tone made the girls laugh; but all looked rather anxious, and no one said a word, as Snodgrass took his seat.

"We'll put it to a vote," said the President. "All in favor of this motion please to manifest it by saying 'Aye'."

A loud response from Snodgrass, followed, to everybody's surprise, by a timid one from Beth.

"Contrary-minded say, 'No'."

Meg and Amy were contrary-minded; and Mr. Winkle rose to say, with great elegance, "We don't wish any boys; they only joke and bounce about. This is a ladies'club, and we wish to be private and proper."

"I'm afraid he'll laugh at our paper, and make fun of us afterward,"observed Pickwick, pulling the little curl on her forehead, as she always did when doubtful.

Up rose Snodgrass, very much in earnest. "Sir, I give you my word as a gentleman, Laurie won't do anything of the sort. He likes to write, and he'll give a tone to our contributions, and keep us from being sentimental, don't you see? We can do so little for him, and he does so much for us, I think the least we can do is to offer him a place here, and make him welcome if he comes."

This artful allusion to benefits conferred brought Tupman to his feet, looking as if he had quite made up his mind.

"Yes, we ought to do it, even if we are afraid. I say he may come, and his grandpa too, if he likes."

This spirited outburst from Beth electrified the club, and Jo left her seat to shake hands approvingly. "Now then, vote again. Everybody remember it's our Laurie, and say 'Aye!'" cried Snodgrass, excitedly.

"Aye! Aye! Aye!" replied three voices at once.

"Good! Bless you! Now, as there's nothing like 'taking time by the fetlock', as Winkle characteristically observes, allow me to present the new member;" and, to the dismay of the rest of the club, Jo threw open the door of the closet, and displayed Laurie sitting on a rag bag, flushed and twinkling with suppressed laughter.

"You rogue! You traitor! Jo, how could you?" cried the three girls, as Snodgrass led her friend triumphantly forth; and, producing both a chair and a badge, installed him in a jiffy.

"The coolness of you two rascals is amazing," began Mr. Pickwick, trying to get up an awful frown, and only succeeding in producing an amiable smile. But the new member was equal to the occasion; and, rising, with a grateful salutation to the Chair, said in the most engaging manner, "Mr. President and ladies—I beg pardon, gentlemen—allow me to introduce myself as Sam Weller, the very humble servant of the club."

"Good! Good!" cried Jo, pounding with the handle of the old warming pan, on which she leaned.

"My faithful friend and noble patron," continued Laurie, with a wave of the hand, "who has so flatteringly presented me, is not to be blamed for the base stratagem of tonight. I planned it, and she only gave in after lots of teasing."

"Come now, don't lay it all on yourself; You know I proposed the cupboard," broke in Snodgrass, who was enjoying the joke amazingly.

"Never you mind what she says. I'm the wretch that did it, sir," said the new member, with a Welleresque nod to Mr. Pickwick. "But on my honor I never will do so again, and henceforth devote myself to the interest of this immortal club."

"Hear! Hear!" cried Jo, clashing the lid of the warming pan like a cymbal.

"Go on, go on!" added Winkle and Tupman, while the President bowed benignly.

"I merely wish to say, that as a slight token of my gratitude for the honor done me, and as a means of promoting friendly relations between adjoining nations, I have set up a post o?ce in the hedge in the lower corner of the garden; a fine, spacious building, with padlocks on the doors, and every convenience for the mails—also the females, if I may be allowed the expression. It's the old martin house; but I've stopped up the door, and made the roof open, so it will hold all sorts of things, and save our valuable time. Letters, manus, books, and bundles can be passed in there; and, as each nation has a key, it will be uncommonly nice, I fancy. Allow me to present the club key; and, with many thanks for your favor, take my seat."

Great applause as Mr. Weller deposited a little key on the table and subsided; the warming pan clashed and waved wildly, and it was some time before order could be restored. A long discussion followed, and everyone came out surprising, for everyone did her best; so it was an unusually lively meeting, and did not adjourn till a late hour, when it broke up with three shrill cheers for the new member. No one ever regretted the admittance of Sam Weller, for a more devoted, well-behaved, and jovial member no club could have. He certainly did add"spirit" to the meetings and "a tone" to the paper; for his orations convulsed his hearers, and his contributions were excellent, being patriotic, classical, comical, or dramatic, but never sentimental. Jo regarded them as worthy of Bacon, Milton, or Shakespeare; and remodeled her own works with good effect, she thought.

The P. O. was a capital little institution, and flourished wonderfully, for nearly as many queer things passed through it as through the real o?ce. Tragedies and cravats, poetry and pickles, garden seeds and long letters, music and gingerbread, rubbers, invitations, scoldings and puppies. The old gentleman liked the fun, and amused himself by sending odd bundles, mysterious messages, and funny telegrams; and his gardener, who was smitten with Hannah's charms, actually sent a love letter to Jo's care. How they laughed when the secret came out, never dreaming how many love letters that little post o?ce would hold in the years to come!

同类推荐
  • 商务英语900句“袋”着走

    商务英语900句“袋”着走

    本书提炼出外企员工日常交流中使用最高频的话题情景,力求生活化,真实化。全书点面结合,通过句型替换,举一反三,以一句顶万句,方便记忆。 本书采用口袋书设计,方便携带,可谓挤地铁乘公交的上选佳品。便于随时随地学习,为自己充电。上班前看一眼,一天都能用得到。
  • 出国英语一本通

    出国英语一本通

    本书共7章内容,依次为“出国行程”“出国留学”“出国旅游”“出国商务”“国外定居”“国外购物”“回国返程”。这些章节包含86个话题,涵盖最常用的场景对话,为您出国之旅做最佳语言沟通的准备。
  • 给幸福留一扇门

    给幸福留一扇门

    本书收录了百于则经典哲理美文,其内容涉及青春、爱情、理想等方面,从不同的视角阐释了人生的种种道理。
  • 安徒生童话选(纯爱英文馆)

    安徒生童话选(纯爱英文馆)

    安徒生童话是丹麦作家安徒生的童话作品,也是世界上最有名的童话作品集之一。他最著名的童话故事有《海的女儿》、《小锡兵》、《冰雪女王》、《拇指姑娘》、《卖火柴的小女孩》、《丑小鸭》和《红鞋》等。尽管创作体裁属于童话,但是其中蕴含了丰富的人生哲理。
  • 百年钟声:香港沉思录

    百年钟声:香港沉思录

    回归祖国十六年,香港发生了怎样的变化?祖国对香港的发展给予了多少支持和影响?香港同胞的民心回归、对祖国的认同感如何?香港给内地带来了怎样的启迪与反思?作者着力书写了回归后的现实情状,其中包括:解放军驻港部队面临的各种考验和优异表现,香港各路精英的成长之路及对港贡献,香港的慈善事业,香港的民生、医疗、文化、媒体、教育,香港的廉政建设,香港所面临的挑战与前景等。作者真实书写了回归后香港的现状。其中一些章节,不仅是当今香港成功经验的写照,而且对内地乃至许多国家地区的发展有着借鉴意义,其中最为突出的是香港的廉政建设。
热门推荐
  • 60天轻松成为理财高手

    60天轻松成为理财高手

    本书就是本着赋予你理财的能力,赋予你改变命运的力量的宗旨而做的!让你由内而外,从观念到身份,实现最神奇的转变。它不是高深莫测的空谈,也不是晦涩难懂的理论,而是通俗易懂、操作性强的理财“挖井”指南。同时,本书对所有理财工具进行了全面细致的介绍,其中提供的理财方法拿来就能用。书中穿插了大量真实生动的案例,极具借鉴意义。同时,本书也摒除了一般理财类图书中生涩的理财术语,你读到的将是最贴近生活的言语,而它博大的内容,可以满足各个年龄阶段的人的理财需求。可以说,它就是一本专门为理财人士打造的超级理财指南。
  • 羿破苍穹

    羿破苍穹

    陈羿受情挫折,奇遇射日神弓,返本归元于盘古遗骨,熔炼己身,且得依附遗骨之上的九大金乌本源和造化玉牒残片助力,熔炼神体,推演万物,助他走上无上巅峰。
  • 纪城陌风

    纪城陌风

    她亲手营造了修罗场,将爱过她、恨过她的人一个个毁灭。可最终,她发现,当年的真相与她所知的全然不同。万事无报应却有因果。是所谓,凡夫畏果,菩萨畏因。江湖之上,终极之救赎。唯有,不问恩仇。
  • 竹马太撩人:许你一世倾城

    竹马太撩人:许你一世倾城

    在谢寒轩的这一生当中,他觉得最幸运的便是遇见了林初暖。这样普通的一个人,一次又一次的打破他的习惯,改变他的原则,最后成为了他的例外。冬暖,是初春的冷意,夏凉,是入冬的喜悦;然而在这人情凉薄的人世间,最暖,不过一个这样你,最凉,也不过这样一个我。“你的手是我不能触及的倾城温暖,我的心是你不曾知晓的兵荒马乱。”
  • 娜迦神族

    娜迦神族

    我叫塔洛斯,娜迦王国黑海领主第二顺位继承人,穿越军一员,身为血脉骑士,却十分擅长位面降临,是个纯爷们。遗憾的是……娜迦是母系氏族。群号:473,098,879
  • 赖上豪门总裁

    赖上豪门总裁

    “四喜小姐,您请节哀!”身后冰冷的声音不带一丝感情,四喜转过身看着眼前这个三十左右的青年男子,长得高大精悍,一身黑色西装,神情漠然。陈四喜很难相信刚刚这慰问之语是从这位叫高寒的人口中说出来,活了二十二年,也就这位高寒先生能尊称自己为“四喜小姐”。陈四喜一直觉得自己的人生真的很悲催,除去这个俗气又难听,一听便让人觉得是爹不疼娘不爱的名字外她还自幼父母双亡,跟着奶奶……
  • 真爱太浅,总裁要离婚

    真爱太浅,总裁要离婚

    ——正文已完结——她爱他入骨,将他在心底一藏便是二十年,为了巩固他的地位,将自己的身家全部转给他,换取他的事业如日中天,知道他不爱她,却仍旧选择与他商界联姻。然而,珍贵捧出的一颗心,却换来他带着自己心爱的女人向她宣言,“请你离开。”人人都知他是他已经结婚,恩爱十足,完美好男人的形象深入商业人心。也就只有穆希自己才了解,这个男人的黑心如翟。“卡上有一千万,密码是你的生日,请你以后不要再出现在我的面前。”“我们结婚时,我转让的股份怎么也不止十个亿吧?别想就这么打发我,我不同意。”“你总有一天会同意的。”说罢,他决然离去,她却在黑暗中默默啜泣,直到天亮。*之后风雨不断,他的绯闻,她来挡,她的袒护,他误会,他的残酷,她品尝,他和心爱人的命,她舍身相救......无奈终是等不到花开。他公开宣布,他要离婚,她只得净身出户,消失在人海。*后来,他恍悟,原来时光深处,她在他的世界已无处不在,只是等他再疯狂的去寻找时,她已是三岁孩子的母亲,身边的男子还是他的旧情敌。“楚新离,咱们早已没有瓜葛,请你不要再来打扰我好么?”“不好,做过我的老婆,就永远只能看着我一个男人。”
  • 宇宙维修清理

    宇宙维修清理

    各宇宙正面临着前所未有的危机,拯救它们,这就是我,被选中的清理维修人员的本职工作。“为了宇宙的平衡发展和健康快乐地成长,你们这种垃圾必须被清理干净!”,“这个宇宙根本已经无法维修了,还是清理了吧!”……PS:部分宇宙为小说,可能清理主角或整个宇宙,请谨慎观看
  • 大明通缉犯

    大明通缉犯

    美女金钱权力统统要有……敌人宦官坏人统统要踩在脚下……失恋落魄的陈生,穿越到大明王朝,竟然成了朝廷的通缉要犯!为了生存,看他是怎样翻转地球,开启他逆袭成王的传奇人生!野火烧不尽,春风吹又生……不经一番寒彻骨,哪得梅花扑鼻香!
  • 缘梦书之仙境公主罗曼史

    缘梦书之仙境公主罗曼史

    她是个很坏的女孩、打架喝酒吸引、没有一件不敢干的事情、可最后。。。她是精灵界的仙子、善良温柔、不会伤害任何一个人。。。可最后。。。她从来都不会放弃爱情可以暗恋一个花花公子对他表白无数次也被拒绝无数次。可最后。。。三个女生的爱情却因为一本书而。。。。