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影凌雨原创小说“红娘,我想喝忘情水”杨轩:“对不起,我这只卖普通酒水,不卖忘情水,要喝忘情水,去孟婆那儿要去!还有不许叫我红娘!”“红娘,我想吃蟠桃”杨轩:“对不起,此店不卖蟠桃,要吃蟠桃找大圣去,别来烦我!还有说了不许叫我红娘了!”“红娘,我想喝威士忌”杨轩:“朋友,你没看外面的招牌吗?我这儿只卖老白干,要喝威士忌去隔壁歌厅找去,都说了不许叫我红娘!”老子要爆发啦!“红娘,红娘,我想跟你做朋友”杨轩:“行啊,不许叫我红娘!”不然老子现在就把你挫骨扬灰。你们难道都tm眼瞎,看不出来我是男人吗?!
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The Steep and Thorny Way
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两个世界上最强的男人,一个世界上最胆小怕事的女人。两个英俊潇洒、年少多金、帅气逼人、前无古人后无来者的男人,一个鸡毛蒜皮、斤斤计较、罗里吧嗦、贪生怕死的女人。女主角刘卡卡是一个穷的一塌糊涂的峡谷,穷的一塌糊涂的国度,穷的一塌糊涂的女皇。两个实力雄厚的泱泱大国就这样虎视眈眈的徘徊在左右,于是……刘卡卡决定重整雄风,让这个穷的一塌糊涂的国家成为天下最有钱的王国。因为,他们国家叫鸟国,所以他们国家的人,叫做鸟人。佛说:色即是空,空即是色。刘卡卡说:以上观点可以延伸为有即是没有,没有即是有;那么你有金子,就等于你没有金子,所以把金子给我吧。两个男人够吗?肯定是不够的,你们有见过镜子的小说里只有两个男人的吗?!当然不可能……所以镜子打算整出很多男人,比如说国师啊丞相啊将军啊太监啊……呃,最后一个可以无视。