登陆注册
10432500000012

第12章

Now come you're not rehearsing with your friends?" Nolan asked, perched in Pat's desk chair. The extra pill would need time to kick in. He had a hard time sitting still, though. He kept pushing the notebook on her desk back and forth and tapping his foot and spending a second too long in Amara's world-

-Cilla was reading on one side of the room while Amara finished up lunch at the fire pit with Jorn and Maart, rootpatties in hand, acting as if nothing was wrong. Jorn was looking at her with prying dark eyes, but he hadn't said a word about how long she'd taken to find the mage-

"-I am." Pat frowned. "Our drama teacher makes us rehearse together in the gym, but we don't have a lot of time since we also have to build the set. That's why we need volunteers. I asked Mom, but she's too busy working."

Nolan held back a cringe. "Rehearsing with your friends at home, I mean."

"I just don't want to make a big deal out of it. What if I screw up?"

"You won't. I promise."

Pat fought a tiny surprised smile. Straight teeth pushed into her bottom lip to keep it in line. Nolan couldn't recall the last time she'd taken anything he said so seriously. For a moment he wasn't sure what to do with himself.

"Thanks. Um-so I'm in the ER, and a girl just went missing from her room…" Pat stood by her bed, chest puffed out, ignoring schoolbooks and bags scattered around her feet. "No!" she bellowed. "I have to know where she went-"

-Maart stood to clean up the mess, leaving Jorn and Amara at the fire pit. She should be calm. Jorn couldn't know she'd contacted the mage. But if he did… Already, tension was locking up her spine; already, she was crushing her rootpatty between her fingers. Jorn had burned her simply for daring to read. He'd do so, so much worse for this.

A clap shook the granary. She jerked. Thunder?

"Again? This must be backlash." Cilla kept one finger in her book.

"Yes. I sense it." Jorn smelled clean, a whiff of fish on his breath as he spoke-

"-know I'm a nurse! Don't tell me what my job is!" Pat took a threatening step forward-

-Jorn's and Amara's eyes kept meeting without a reason, and every time it held Amara still. She wanted to suck the patty's remains off her fingers, just so she wouldn't be stuck like this, but any movement might make Jorn snap.

Just say it! Amara wanted to shout. Say what you want to say! She tried to slow her breathing, and her frustration alongside it. She felt too loud. Too present. She needed to be invisible. Nolan fought off her fear, because he couldn't let it crawl into him, he had to stay an observer, shouldn't even be here-

"-you awake?" Pat was gathering thick bunches of hair into a ponytail, her movements irritated. Nolan found himself staring somewhere over her shoulder, swallowing as he tried to get a grip. Why was his throat so dry? He shouldn't let Amara get to him.

"Right. Sorry." In his absence, his hands had pressed onto the notebook enough to warp the paper. Ink dotted his fingers. He flattened the pages, the familiar paper grain a comfort. He'd meant to jot down notes to show Pat he took her seriously, but he hadn't written a word. "You're doing great."

"Really?" Her hands dropped to her sides. She sounded at once suspicious and hopeful. Did she care that much about his opinion? Why did that thought make him so damn uncomfortable? "I'm trying for a Michelle Rodriguez vibe, you know."

Was he supposed to know that name? Dad had Rodriguez family down in Mexico, but Nolan guessed Pat meant an actress rather than that great-aunt they'd met as kids.

"Would you… if you saw me in a movie… Never mind. You don't have to do this if you don't care."

"I do care," he said immediately. That wasn't true. But he wanted to care. He was trying to care.

He shoved Amara from his mind. Her fear wasn't his. He wanted to stay here, in the safety of Pat's tiny room with its dusty shelves and dorky mirror and neon gym bag dumped in one corner. He didn't want to go back, but-

"-when I'm queen," Cilla was saying, "I won't let any ministers abuse magic like this. We'll keep the world in balance."

"It's repulsive how they've treated this country," Jorn said in a clipped voice.

But you're working with them, Amara thought. Was all this an act? Or were he and Ruudde working against the other ministers?

All Nolan could think was, You know I'm here, Jorn, don't you?-

-he needed to say something, and fast, because the way Pat looked at him, he knew he'd blown it. Their second practice session and he'd spent half of it with Amara. He wiped sweat from his hairline and stared at the notebook as though studying his earlier, nonexistent notes. "You might be over-playing this scene. You're shouting a lot."

"But I'm talking to my boss. I'm supposed to hate him. I told you: my character thinks he knows something about the missing patients. Oh, and she's scared because he might've left those voice mails."

"I'm not seeing fear." He focused on Pat with all his might, to the point where his staring would probably creep out anyone else. "You're just shouting."

"You said I was doing fine!"

"You are. I'm impressed," Nolan rushed to assure her. He'd promised to be critical, though. "I just think you can play that fear more convincingly. Fear, true fear-you can't cover that up. There's always this voice at the back of your mind: What if I'm not safe? It changes everything." He didn't know what he was saying. He rubbed his thighs while he talked, hoping to avoid blinking. He didn't want to mess up again-

-Amara was eating her rootpatty, stuffing it into her mouth faster than she ought to. She couldn't swallow all this, not without her tongue, not without sauce to help it down, but she needed something to do and no, no, Nolan didn't want to know any of this-

"-true fear?" Pat didn't move. Nolan wasn't used to her so still. Normally she'd fiddle with her hair or cross her arms, or her eyebrows would move weirdly across her forehead. Now, her eyes drifted to his stump. He scratched it self-consciously. Pat should be blowing him off by now-he got plenty of concern from their parents already. He'd liked seeing Pat this way, as far removed from his issues or Amara's panic as possible: making over-the-top proclamations, waltzing around her room with a fake stethoscope around her neck…

But Amara still-always-won out. It wasn't fair to Pat. Nolan rubbed his face. "True fear is the kind you can't reason away. It makes you want to puke. To do anything, anything, except face-whatever it is you fear. And every time you think of it, even for a flash, part of you panics."

Pat still didn't move. "But if you're really angry?"

Nolan thought of Amara, who pushed her anger down so deep it couldn't escape. He thought of Maart, who let it burst out in pieces. He thought of Jorn, who gripped Amara's hands and- "It depends, I guess." When he talked next, the words came more easily. This was about a school play, nothing more. "You could make your character shout, then step back, like she realizes what kind of trouble she's getting into."

"OK. Thanks." Nolan didn't recognize Pat's high-pitched, nervous laugh. He'd freaked her out, hadn't he? He breathed deeply, then let the air escape. He should go to his own room, see if the extra medication was working the way he'd hoped.

"I'm nauseous," he lied, and hated himself for it. "I should go."

同类推荐
  • Bananas
  • Berlin Diary

    Berlin Diary

    A radio broadcaster and journalist for Edward R. Murrow at CBS, William Shirer was new to the world of broadcast journalism when he began keeping a diary while in Europe during the 1930s. It was in 1940, still a virtual unknown, that Shirer wondered whether his reminiscences of the collapse of the world around Nazi Germany could be of any interest or value as a book.
  • Spell of the Island

    Spell of the Island

    When Emma's sister travels to the exotic island of Mauritius in pursuit of a man who's clearly toying with her heart, Emma is determined to rescue her. But when she arrives on the island, she meets the man herself--handsome, arrogant Paul Fanchotte--and is immediately smitten.Paul is gorgeous, sensual, and infuriating--and soon Emma completely understands her sister's dilemma. It's not long before she is caught in a web of desire--and falls desperately in love. But Paul has made a vow never to fall for a woman. Can Emma make him break that vow--or will it be her heart that's broken?
  • The Kissing Game
  • Sidetracked

    Sidetracked

    If middle school were a race, Joseph Friedman wouldn't even be in last place—he'd be on the sidelines. With an overactive mind and phobias of everything from hard-boiled eggs to gargoyles, he struggles to understand his classes, let alone his fellow classmates. So he spends most of his time avoiding school bully Charlie Kastner and hiding out in the Resource Room, a safe place for misfit kids like him. But then, on the first day of seventh grade, two important things happen. First, his Resource Room teacher encourages (i.e., practically forces) him to join the school track team, and second, he meets Heather, a crazy-fast runner who isn't going to be pushed around by Charlie Kastner or anybody else. With a new friend and a new team, Joseph finds himself off the sidelines and in the race (quite literally) for the first time. Is he a good runner? Well, no, he's terrible. But the funny thing about running is, once you're in the race, anything can happen.
热门推荐
  • 神造异界

    神造异界

    神造大陆,这一方世界并非由创世神戛戛独造,而是由神界一代神王,泯灭之神所创。然而,这方世界却只是个半位面……神造大陆,这本就是个有违常理的世界。多个位面的法则之力汇聚于此,竟奇迹般形成了均衡。不过,这种均衡终有一日会被打破,世界将会崩溃……魔法,斗气,异能……多种法则之力在这片大陆上曾都有过。但随着时代的变迁,异能占据多数,成为了主流。其他能力则逐渐销声匿迹,被人遗忘……华依六岁那年,他的异能意外觉醒,自那以后,他就有着与常人不同的能力。然而,父亲的殉职令他悲痛欲绝,从此那段记忆便被封印,他也变得像个懵懂无知的孩子。九年之后,一次相遇,使他恢复了记忆……
  • 蓝色人鱼之泪

    蓝色人鱼之泪

    夜北欧,我不想喜欢你了,我累了,池小糯留。
  • 最后一支铁骑

    最后一支铁骑

    一面人皮鼓,叙说着不是贪官的贪官冤屈。一座梦城,叙说着帝王的雄图大略和饮恨难消。一座沙城,叙说着匈奴部落的没落。一个人的爱恨情仇,叙说着历史长河中的诸多无奈……
  • 重云记

    重云记

    我也曾俯瞰巅峰·也曾傲视群雄!纵那世间百态,也不如你倾城一笑!如今这般!也不过,重头再来罢了!看重云之子如何从巅峰到人间低谷,爱恨情仇该如何抉择。是选择爱你!还是选择恨你!纵有不世修为可换否?再与你,再续前缘!
  • 立地封神

    立地封神

    一珠出世,三界震动,神魔相争;魔尊封印,真神陨落,飞仙历劫;聚源修武,历经劫难,独立巅峰;九九归一,勘破天道,是为封神。
  • 借尸还魂之智斗穿越女

    借尸还魂之智斗穿越女

    前世善良如她,却被姐姐和丈夫联手害死,重生归来神挡杀神,佛挡杀佛,挡我者皆死无全尸。
  • 快穿:男主拜倒在脚下

    快穿:男主拜倒在脚下

    夏沫沫睡了一觉后,莫名其妙的被女配逆袭系统绑定了,从此开启了攻略男主之旅,什么暖男校草,霸道总裁,可爱小竹马······通通不在话下此书已弃坑。
  • 观自在如意轮菩萨瑜伽法要

    观自在如意轮菩萨瑜伽法要

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 明夷待访录

    明夷待访录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 总裁你站住,试婚99天

    总裁你站住,试婚99天

    “我要找个男人!”她酒醉迷离,手指一位俊魅邪笑的男人。被男友出卖,弟弟病危,索性一醉狂言,被人吃干抹净后,落荒而逃。可是,谁来告诉他,为毛那男人摇身一变成了她的大大BOSS……...--情节虚构,请勿模仿