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第2章 MONEY

GOT SO MUCH CHIPS, I SWEAR THEY CALL ME HEWLETTPACKARD

LYRIC FROM SONG: "LOLLIPOP (REMIX)" ON ALBUM: THA CARTER III (ITUNES BONUS TRACK) BY ARTIST: LIL WAYNE

I am so wealthy that people might mistakenly refer to me by the name of a large multinational computer manufacturer whose integrated circuits are commonly referred to by the same name that I and others use for money.

I GOT RUBBER BAND BANKS IN MY POCKET

LYRIC FROM SONG: "WHATEVER YOU LIKE" ON ALBUM: PAPER TRAIL BY ARTIST: T.I.

I carry such large amounts of cash around with me that a wallet would quickly wear out as it would be stretched beyond the capacity to hold the currency for which it was designed. A common alternative to the wallet, the money clip, is pushed beyond its mechanical limit as well. Therefore, a large rubber band will be employed, as it can expand with increased capacity.

IT AIN'T MY BIRTHDAY BUT I GOT MY NAME ON THE CAKE

LYRIC FROM SONG: "STUNTIN' LIKE MY DADDY" ON ALBUM: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON BY ARTIST: BIRDMAN AND LIL WAYNE

One of the names for money is the same as the dessert that is eaten in celebration of another year a human has lived. While no one would observe an annually occurring day 365 times a year, each day is equally joyous to me because of the income that is constantly flowing in, and is therefore worthy of celebration.

AFTER BIG BUCKS, NO WHAMMY

LYRIC FROM SONG: "WEED & MONEY" ON ALBUM: GHETTO D BY ARTIST: MASTER P

There are some risks when it comes to the pursuit of financial success in the rap industry, just as contestants on 1980s television game show Press Your Luck risked losing all their money at the hands of a creepy red cartoon character.

SWIMMING IN THE MONEY, COME AND FIND ME, NEMO

LYRIC FROM SONG: "FOREVER" BY ARTIST: DRAKE ON ALBUM: MORE THAN A GAME (SOUNDTRACK)

It is possible that you could have so much money that there would be nowhere practical to store it all and eventually every room of your house would be filled with paper currency. Anyone who stopped by to visit you in this virtual ocean of money would have as much trouble finding you as an animated talking cartoon fish father had finding his animated talking cartoon fish son.

YOU ON THE INTERNET PRICING

LYRIC FROM SONG: "HE TRIED TO PLAY ME" ON ALBUM: KILLA SEASON BY ARTIST: CAM'RON

It is funny that you are using a vast network of computers in order to find the most affordable items as you research bargains and compare the costs associated with shopping at various stores, while other people simply purchase whatever they want immediately upon seeing it and without regard for cost.

IT'S A BLESSIN' TO BLOW A HUNDRED THOU' IN A RECESSION

LYRIC FROM SONG: "KINDA LIKE A BIG DEAL" ON ALBUM: TIL THE CASKET DROPS BY ARTIST: CLIPSE

One must believe God is looking favorably upon oneself to be able to frivolously spend $100,000 without worrying about how their bank account balance will be affected during a time when most of the population is struggling financially due to an economic crisis.

USED TO MAKE A THOUSAND DOLLARS EVERY TIME I PLAYED HOOKY

LYRIC FROM SONG: "FEEL ME" ON ALBUM: THA CARTER II BY ARTIST: LIL WAYNE

It is possible that while skipping school, rather than going to the mall, watching a movie, or socializing with friends, one could be engaging in lucrative activities, such as drug dealing, that might yield amounts of money much greater than the average student's allowance or summer job.

GRINDIN' DAILY TO STACK MY BREAD

LYRIC FROM SONG: "THEY DON'T KNOW" ON ALBUM: THE PEOPLES CHAMP BY ARTIST: PAUL WALL

I work hard every day, earning income by doing whatever I have to do to get by. As a result of my effort, I am able to pile up the money I make as if it were slices of food made by mixing water with ground flour.

MORE CHEESE THAN LAMBEAU

LYRIC FROM SONG: "CHECK 1, 2" ON ALBUM: OUT OF BUSINESS BY ARTIST: EPMD

The amount of money I have is much greater than the number of hats shaped like a type of milk-derived, protein-rich food worn by fans in support of the Green Bay Packers football team in their stadium in Wisconsin, a state known for its dairy products.

NEEDED MONEY OF MY OWN, SO I STARTED SLANGIN'

LYRIC FROM SONG: "DEAR MAMA" ON ALBUM: ME AGAINST THE WORLD BY ARTIST: 2PAC

For some people, there comes a time during their youth when they realize they can no longer live the lifestyle they want based solely on the support of individuals such as their mother who may provide for them, so they begin selling drugs as a way to survive and secure their own financial well-being.

BAG FULL OF CHIPS-WE AIN'T TALKIN' RUFFLES

LYRIC FROM SONG: "THROW IT IN THE BAG" ON ALBUM: LOSO'S WAY BY ARTIST: FABOLOUS

I have a bag that contains a large amount of paper money that I am describing by using a term that stems from the circular disks casinos use as in-house currency, clarifying that it is not a particular brand of thin crinkle-cut potato slices that you may have thought I was referring to.

THAT PABLO ESCOBAR CRACK MONEY

LYRIC FROM SONG: "MONEY" ON ALBUM: LAX BY ARTIST: THE GAME

I am striving to accumulate the same amount of wealth an infamous Colombian drug lord had at the height of his career-somewhere in the billions of dollars.

YOU CAN CALL ME SCROOGE, 'CAUSE I'M SWIMMIN' IN BUCKS

LYRIC FROM SONG: "TALKIN' ABOUT IT" ON ALBUM: THE LEAK BY ARTIST: LIL WAYNE

Since I have a great deal of money, you may wish to refer to me by the first name of a talking duck from comics and cartoons who has a vault room filled with gold coins, jewels, and cash, which he swan-dives into and tunnels through like he's swimming, since I might be able to do the same.

I GOT A POCKETFUL OF BENJAMINS

LYRIC FROM SONG: "AIN'T SAYIN' NOTHIN' (REMIX)" BY ARTIST: FAT JOE

A compartment sewn into my clothing is full of hundred-dollar bills, which is the largest denomination currently in circulation and upon which are printed the face of Benjamin Franklin.

Y'ALL THINK I'M GONNA LET MY DOUGH FREEZE?

LYRIC FROM SONG: "FORGOT ABOUT DRE" ON ALBUM: 2001 BY ARTIST: DR. DRE

I am not asking your opinion on whether or not I should preserve a mixture of flour and water at cold temperatures for future use, but I would like to know if you think my savings balance will stay fixed at its current amount or if such an assumption could be false, considering that I am obviously going to continue making a lot of money.

MY BANK ROLL'S ON SWOLL

LYRIC FROM SONG: "WHO AM I (WHAT'S MY NAME)?" ON ALBUM: DOGGYSTYLE BY ARTIST: SNOOP DOGGY DOGG

The pile of bills I have rolled up and placed in my pocket and to which I add newly acquired currency, that I later withdraw money from like someone might use a lending institution, has increased in size as a result of my repeated business dealings.

I'M HOOD RICH

LYRIC FROM SONG: "STILL FLY" ON ALBUM: HOOD RICH BY ARTIST: BIG TYMERS

Although not considered especially wealthy when compared to the likes of those in the upper echelon of society, I do well in comparison to the others in my neighborhood. Some signs of my wealth may include having a very expensive car yet not being able to afford to fill the tank with gas, or making all large purchases by obtaining loans using my mother as a cosigner.

GOT A HANDFUL OF STACKS, BETTER GRAB AN UMBRELLA

LYRIC FROM SONG: "MAKE IT RAIN" ON ALBUM: ME, MYSELF & I BY ARTIST: FAT JOE

When someone has a handful of paper money that is taken from piles that are considered disposable income and throws it above your head to create an effect that somewhat resembles rain falling from the sky, and you are an attractive female or an adoring fan, you may want to protect yourself by holding a canopy attached to a rod.

FROM A CAPER GOTTA BLOW THAT PAPER

LYRIC FROM SONG: "CARTER II" ON ALBUM: THA CARTER II BY ARTIST: LIL WAYNE

If money in your possession has made its way to your pocket either directly from a crime you committed or indirectly through your association with someone who may have committed a crime to obtain it, you should spend it as quickly as possible in case it can be traced and implicate you.

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