登陆注册
10443200000004

第4章

Up in their hiding place, Miles and Niles set down their baby rattles and laughed. They rested their heads against rocks and laughed the laughs of pranksters, pure-souled laughter that started deep in their bellies and floated high over the breeze. They wiped tears from their eyes, then laughed so hard they cried some more. They were weak from laughing.

Pre-prank, Miles and Niles had outlined a thorough post-prank procedure. It was a two-step plan:

1. Laugh.

2. Run away.

Having completed step 1, Miles and Niles should have already been fleeing. But they turned back toward the grove.

"The squirrel," said Miles. "We gotta save it."

"I know," said Niles.

And they slid down the hillside and crept through the trees. The cries of Papa Company could still be heard in the woods. When the two boys arrived in the clearing, Niles picked up the can of fruit cocktail and admired their handiwork.

Earlier that day, pre-prank, just after dawn, they had scavenged for the perfect sticks—sturdy, straight, and forked at the end—and gone to a pond deep in the woods, where they'd spent the morning looking for snake dens. Miles caught two snakes, Niles one. They carried their quarry in a pillowcase, which writhed as if alive, and stole into the grove, which they'd been watching for weeks. Miles held the pillowcase while Niles had gone to the hollow where Papa Company stored their snacks. He'd opened the can of fruit cocktail from the bottom (with a real can opener, from his kitchen). They'd dumped out the fruit and put in the snakes, and some grass, and some rocks to get the weight right. Niles had poked airholes in the bottom of the can and reattached it, discreetly, with duct tape. (It is a fact of life that nobody looks at the bottom of a can.) At the last second, Miles had added some stinkbugs, as a masterstroke.

Now, back in the clearing, post-prank, Niles sniffed the can and shook his head.

Miles approached and peered over Niles's shoulder. "What happened to the stinkbugs?" he asked.

"I think the snakes ate them," said Niles.

"Dang."

Niles shrugged. "Nature."

Niles put the can in his pack—it would make a good exhibit in the museum Niles was planning, dedicated to their pranking exploits—and the boys cautiously approached the cage.

The squirrel saw them coming and went wild. The cage, which had toppled onto its side, rocked on the forest floor as the animal clattered inside it. The squirrel reared up on its back feet and glared at the boys, chattering.

The boys looked at each other, then back at the squirrel.

Rock paper scissors. They pounded their fists in their palms. Niles shot paper. Miles shot scissors. Niles slapped his flat palm against his forehead. Miles looked relieved.

OK.

Niles inhaled. He slowly reached toward the cage's door.

The squirrel lunged. Niles jumped back.

"Hey," said Niles. "You better do it."

"What?" said Miles. "You lost!"

"Yeah, but you have better reflexes."

Miles considered this. He smiled. Niles had a point. He rolled the sleeves of his T-shirt up to his shoulders.

"Well," said Miles, "if I get rabies, tell my mother I love her."

"If you get rabies, I think you just have to get a bunch of shots. Like twenty. In your stomach."

"Oh," said Miles. "Great."

"Anyway it takes a couple weeks to die of rabies, so you could just tell her yourself."

"Do you want me to do this or not?"

"Sorry."

Miles extended a trembling hand. The squirrel leapt at it, then bounced back from the bars of its cage. Miles flinched, but pressed on. The squirrel was furious and frightened. It leapt and nipped at the air. With an outstretched finger, Miles flicked the latch on the cage and flung the door open.

"HA HA!" Miles said (he actually said "HA HA!") as he rolled away from the cage.

"He's not leaving," said Niles, who had removed himself to a safe spot across the grove, behind a rock.

Niles was right. The squirrel stayed in its cage, staring curiously at the open door.

"Come on, little guy," said Miles. But the squirrel didn't move.

"Hmm," said Miles. "Well, take your time, but we gotta go."

"Hold on," said Niles, popping up from behind his rock.

"What are you doing?" Miles asked.

Niles ran over to the oak, scrambled up into its branches, and inched out onto the bough that held Papa Company's flag.

"Oh," said Miles. "Oh boy." He tried to exchange a conspiratorial glance with the squirrel, which was still in its cage and now appeared to be asleep.

Sitting up on the bough, Niles plucked up the flag and placed it in his lap, where he folded it into a triangle. "Catch!"

Niles tossed the flag to Miles, who tossed it in his pack. They grinned at each other. Niles wrapped his legs around the branch and hung from it upside down. He reached two fingers down, and Miles reached two fingers up, and they exchanged their secret handshake.

"Masterstroke," said Miles.

CLANG!

Over in its cage, the squirrel shrieked and sprung through the door. The boys snapped their heads toward the sound and watched the animal flee into the woods, which is why they didn't see what scared it off.

Realizing he'd get yelled at, and have to do extra push-ups, if he returned to camp bare-chested, Splinters had come back for his shirt. The cadet now stood on the edge of the clearing, watching Miles and Niles.

"UM THERE ARE TWO GUYS STEALING OUR FLAG AND THEY'RE DRESSED LIKE GIANT PLANTS!" he shouted.

Then Splinters raised his hands to his mouth and made a series of unpleasant screeches, growls, and hisses. This was the call of the turkey vulture, which was a signal to his squad that their base was under attack.

His call was answered by more screeches, growls, and hisses, and one call of "STOP THOSE NIMBUSES!" The members of Papa Company stormed back through the woods to defend their headquarters.

Niles dropped from the branch and hit the ground hard. Splinters jumped into the clearing and pinned Niles to the ground. Niles struggled, but Splinters pushed his face into the dirt.

"Mrmf," said Niles.

Then Miles charged into Splinters and tore him off his friend.

"Come on!" cried Miles, and bolted toward the woods.

Niles picked himself up and ran after Miles, who was running after the squirrel.

Josh and Mudflap arrived at the grove and saw Splinters on the ground. Josh was embarrassed for the boy, who was definitely now his least favorite cadet. He picked Splinters's shirt off the ground and held it out to him.

"Wait," Josh said. "This is my shirt."

"What?" Splinters asked.

"It says my name on it. All my stuff has my name on it."

Josh pointed to where FUTURE PRINCIPAL JOSH BARKIN was written on the inside collar in big block letters.

"YOU STOLE MY SHIRT!"

"It was a mix-up!"

It had not been a mix-up. Splinters had been wearing Josh Barkin's shirt because he wanted to be like Josh Barkin. Heck, he wanted to be Josh Barkin. And if he'd told Josh that, Josh would have been flattered. But instead, Splinters, lying shirtless on the ground, said, "You know how things get mixed up in the barracks!"

"Of course I know," said Josh. "That's why my dad wrote my name on all my stuff, nimbus!"

To be honest, Josh wished his dad hadn't written FUTURE PRINCIPAL JOSH BARKIN on all of his clothes. He'd been having second thoughts about his future. In fact, Josh had decided that he didn't want to be a principal like his father. He wanted to be a principal like his grandfather. And so he wished his grandfather had written FUTURE PRINCIPAL JOSH BARKIN on all of his clothes.

"Sir?" said Splinters, who was wondering why Josh was gazing forlornly at the stump. Josh shook his head.

Splinters looked down.

"A hundred push-ups when we get back to camp. Plus however many push-ups the supreme commander gives you for showing up out of uniform."

Splinters sniffed. "Yes, sir."

"Which way did they go?" Josh asked.

Splinters pointed.

"Follow me, nimbuses!" Josh cried out. "Let's get those nimbuses!"

He crashed into the forest, waving the shirt above his head.

Mudflap considered helping his brother up, but he turned and followed Josh instead.

同类推荐
  • Malone Dies

    Malone Dies

    'Malone', writes Malone, 'is what I am called now.' On his deathbed, and wiling away the time with stories, the octogenarian Malone's account of his condition is intermittent and contradictory, shifting with the vagaries of the passing days: without mellowness, without elegiacs; wittier, jauntier, and capable of wilder rages than Molloy. The sound I liked best had nothing noble about it. It was the barking of the dogs, at night, in the clusters of hovels up in the hills, where the stone-cutters lived, like generations of stone-cutters before them. it came down to me where I lay, in the house in the plain, wild and soft, at the limit of earshot, soon weary. The dogs of the valley replied with their gross bay all fangs and jaws and foam…
  • 转变 (龙人日志系列#1)

    转变 (龙人日志系列#1)

    《转变》一书是年轻读者的理想读物。摩根莱斯把一个原本可能是典型的龙人故事巧妙地做了一个有趣的转折。《转变》清新而独特,有许多青少年超自然故事的经典元素,龙人日志系列#1重点围绕一个女孩……一个特别的女孩!……《转变》很容易阅读,但节奏很快……推荐给喜欢读温和超自然罗曼史的读者。普通级。
  • Stardust

    Stardust

    When her adopted parents die, Jody Hendrick is devastated--both emotionally and financially. Her parents left her destitute, and Jody must find a way to support herself. But good news is on the way--a distant relative has left her half of a luxurious Irish hotel.When Jody meets the owner of the other half, handsome and charming Conor Blake, she's immediately smitten. But soon her stepsister, Rochelle, arrives with the deed to the hotel. Even worse, she has her eye on Conor as well--and will stop at nothing to have him.
  • An Unnecessary Woman
  • Dying to Know You
热门推荐
  • 中国模式研究(解析)

    中国模式研究(解析)

    本书作者多年从事经济、哲学研究与教学工作,对中国模式有自己较为全面系统的理解,将多年积累整理为章节完整的专著,从中国模式的概念与外延出发,系统梳理了中国模式在基本制度体系中的含义,以及中国模式的溯源与发展,对相关领域的研究人员有一定的参考意义。
  • 武韬

    武韬

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 极品酷公主

    极品酷公主

    『low-key社·校园』八年前,父母被人杀害。怀恨在心的她,自幼便踏进黑道进行恶魔训练。八年后,她不再是那个任人割宰的小孩!她,蓝汐盈,黑道至尊,IQ高达400的超级MM,身手、相貌、地位、智慧集于一身的她,混入贵族学院充当穷人,却不料……不是冤家不聚头,坐山观虎斗咯!~~爱情重重难关,她、他、他之间的故事,轮回的漩涡,三角恋,他们该何去何从?
  • 黑刀白剑录

    黑刀白剑录

    罗狼醒来,发现自己已不是那个自己,可江湖仍还是那个江湖。罗狼拿起了刀,斩断了一切。
  • 稽查之城

    稽查之城

    赵建国、吴光荣、王坚持和邱已经四个人在喜客来打麻将,被公安局给抓了。他们在8318房,正打着,有人敲门。邱已经说:“请进。没声音,门继续敲着。“进呀,邱已经说,“敲个鬼。邱已经今天火不好,老输,他以为是服务员,言语就戗。赵建国一看,房门小栓倒着,哪进得来?“谁把门反锁了。说着,赵建国起身去开门。邱已经担心他看自己的牌,啪一下把竖着的麻将子反扣在牌桌上。门刚开,呼一下进来六七个人,没服务员。有人嚷着:“公安局的,都别动。”
  • 网游之帝国在崛起

    网游之帝国在崛起

    惜秦皇汉武,略输文采;唐宗宋祖,稍逊风骚,一代天骄,成吉思汗,只识弯弓射大雕,俱往矣,数一代风流人物,还看今朝。杨锋一个孤儿院长大的青年,进入了最新网游《帝国崛起》,成为一名坐拥两县之地的微型诸侯国国君,至此励精图治,勤勉为政,勤政为民,希望可以成为一名睥睨天下,万民景仰的仁德之君。书友群:293750350
  • 缘深情不负

    缘深情不负

    “你还是要缠着我不可?”念夕苦恼又微怒,面前的楚沐戈一副胜券在握的模样。“嫁给我是你唯一的选择,你是知道的,我始终都爱你。”无论曾经还是现在。年少,她居心叵测的找上了他,一场懵懂的情感就此开始。再遇,他的执念她的困苦,救赎还是陌路?若我爱你是一种习惯,等你回到我身边将是我一生的期待。
  • 孤独战神

    孤独战神

    不管人类用什么理由,战争就这样持续下去了,虽然期间有过和平,但将来还是有战争的。在这样时断时续长久以来的战争中,造就了许多长盛不衰,家户舆晓的军事家、战争英豪。而在战争中,那些军事家、英雄、都被惯上各种迷人的称号。如常胜将军、不败将军、天才军师、等等等等。但是有一个称号,其他如何表达的词汇都不能代替的,那就是:战神。
  • 快穿女神跟我走

    快穿女神跟我走

    a大校草洛紫云,突然有一天,被一个小东西忽悠去改变自己的前世,经历N个世界后,谁能告诉他,这个抱着他大腿撒娇卖萌喊主人的系统,是不是他家小东西
  • 云山之路

    云山之路

    作品讲述了崔云山当年在盐碱滩上养奶牛、养羊、养鸭的曲折历程。上世纪80年代末,他与人合办起了服装裁剪培训班,由最初的8个学员,一直发展到分校近十个、学员数以千计的宏大规模。最后又成功转型,开办了服装厂、服装公司。其间,崔云山上过当、受过骗,经历过合作者的分道扬镳等种种考验。但他与爱人周凤仙齐心合力,咬紧牙关,渡过了一个个人生难关,终于走进了人生的阳光地带。创业成功后,崔云山不忘初心,热心公益,多年中,捐出善款以百万计,颇受社会好评。