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第4章

1977

Later

Jerry's House. Study. 1977. Spring.

JERRY sitting. ROBERT standing, with glass.

JERRY

It's good of you to come.

ROBERT

Not at all.

JERRY

Yes, yes, I know it was difficult … I know … the kids

ROBERT

It's all right. It sounded urgent.

JERRY

Well … You found someone, did you?

ROBERT

What?

JERRY

For the kids.

ROBERT

Yes, yes. Honestly. Everything's in order. Anyway, Charlotte's not a baby.

JERRY

No.

Pause

Are you going to sit down?

ROBERT

Well, I might, yes, in a minute.

Pause

JERRY

Judith's at the hospital … on night duty. The kids are here … upstairs.

ROBERT

Uh – huh.

JERRY

I must speak to you. It's important.

ROBERT

Speak.

JERRY

Yes.

Pause

ROBERT

You look quite rough.

Pause

What's the trouble?

Pause

It's not about you and Emma, is it?

Pause

I know all about that.

JERRY

Yes. So I've … been told.

ROBERT

Ah.

Pause

Well, it's not very important, is it? Been over for years, hasn't it?

JERRY

It is important.

ROBERT

Really? Why?

JERRY stands, walks about.

JERRY

I thought I was going to go mad.

ROBERT

When?

JERRY

This evening. Just now. Wondering whether to phone you. I had to phone you. It took me … two hours to phone you. And then you were with the kids … I thought I wasn't going to be able to see you … I thought I'd go mad. I'm very grateful to you … for coming.

ROBERT

Oh for God's sake! Look, what exactly do you want to say?

Pause

JERRY sits.

JERRY

I don't know why she told you. I don't know how she could tell you. I just don't understand. Listen, I know you've got … look, I saw her today … we had a drink … I haven't seen her for … she told me, you know, that you're in trouble, both of you … and so on. I know that. I mean I'm sorry.

ROBERT

Don't be sorry.

JERRY

Why not?

Pause

The fact is I can't understand … why she thought it necessary … after all these years … to tell you … so suddenly … last night …

ROBERT

Last night?

JERRY

Without consulting me. Without even warning me. After all, you and me …

ROBERT

She didn't tell me last night.

JERRY

What do you mean?

Pause

I know about last night. She told me about it. You were up all night, weren't you?

ROBERT

That's correct.

JERRY

And she told you … last night … about her and me. Did she not?

ROBERT

No, she didn't. She didn't tell me about you and her last night. She told me about you and her four years ago.

Pause

So she didn't have to tell me again last night. Because I knew. And she knew I knew because she told me herself four years ago.

Silence

JERRY

What?

ROBERT

I think I will sit down.

He sits.

I thought you knew.

JERRY

Knew what?

ROBERT

That I knew. That I've known for years. I thought you knew that.

JERRY

You thought I knew?

ROBERT

She said you didn't. But I didn't believe that.

Pause

Anyway I think I thought you knew. But you say you didn't?

JERRY

She told you … when?

ROBERT

Well, I found out. That's what happened. I told her I'd found out and then she … confirmed … the facts.

JERRY

When?

ROBERT

Oh, a long time ago, Jerry.

Pause

JERRY

But we've seen each other … a great deal … over the last four years. We've had lunch.

ROBERT

Never played squash though.

JERRY

I was your best friend.

ROBERT

Well, yes, sure.

JERRY stares at him and then holds his head in his hands.

Oh, don't get upset. There's no point.

Silence

JERRY sits up.

JERRY

Why didn't she tell me?

ROBERT

Well, I'm not her, old boy.

JERRY

Why didn't you tell me?

Pause

ROBERT

I thought you might know.

JERRY

But you didn't know for certain, did you? You didn't know!

ROBERT

No.

JERRY

Then why didn't you tell me?

Pause

ROBERT

Tell you what?

JERRY

That you knew. You bastard.

ROBERT

Oh, don't call me a bastard, Jerry.

Pause

JERRY

What are we going to do?

ROBERT

You and I are not going to do anything. My marriage is finished. I've just got to make proper arrangements, that's all. About the children.

Pause

JERRY

You hadn't thought of telling Judith?

ROBERT

Telling Judith what? Oh, about you and Emma. You mean she never knew? Are you quite sure?

Pause

No, I hadn't thought of telling Judith, actually. You don't seem to understand. You don't seem to understand that I don't give a shit about any of this. It's true I've hit Emma once or twice. But that wasn't to defend a principle. I wasn't inspired to do it from any kind of moral standpoint. I just felt like giving her a good bashing. The old itch … you understand.

Pause

JERRY

But you betrayed her for years, didn't you?

ROBERT

Oh yes.

JERRY

And she never knew about it. Did she?

ROBERT

Didn't she?

Pause

JERRY

I didn't.

ROBERT

No, you didn't know very much about anything, really, did you?

Pause

JERRY

No.

ROBERT

Yes you did.

JERRY

Yes I did. I lived with her.

ROBERT

Yes. In the afternoons.

JERRY

Sometimes very long ones. For seven years.

ROBERT

Yes, you certainly knew all there was to know about that. About the seven years of afternoons. I don't know anything about that.

Pause

I hope she looked after you all right.

Silence

JERRY

We used to like each other.

ROBERT

We still do.

Pause

I bumped into old Casey the other day. I believe he's having an affair with my wife. We haven't played squash for years, Casey and me. We used to have a damn good game.

JERRY

He's put on weight.

ROBERT

Yes, I thought that.

JERRY

He's over the hill.

ROBERT

Is he?

JERRY

Don't you think so?

ROBERT

In what respect?

JERRY

His work. His books.

ROBERT

Oh his books. His art. Yes his art does seem to be falling away, doesn't it?

JERRY

Still sells.

ROBERT

Oh, sells very well. Sells very well indeed. Very good for us. For you and me.

JERRY

Yes.

ROBERT

Someone was telling me – who was it – must have been someone in the publicity department – the other day – that when Casey went up to York to sign his latest book, in a bookshop, you know, with Barbara Spring, you know, the populace queued for hours to get his signature on his book, while one old lady and a dog queued to get Barbara Spring's signature, on her book. I happen to think that Barbara Spring … is good, don't you?

JERRY

Yes.

Pause

ROBERT

Still, we both do very well out of Casey, don't we?

JERRY

Very well.

Pause

ROBERT

Have you read any good books lately?

JERRY

I've been reading Yeats.

ROBERT

Ah. Yeats. Yes.

Pause

JERRY

You read Yeats on Torcello once.

ROBERT

On Torcello?

JERRY

Don't you remember? Years ago. You went over to Torcello in the dawn, alone. And read Yeats.

ROBERT

So I did. I told you that, yes.

Pause

Yes.

Pause

Where are you going this summer, you and the family?

JERRY

The Lake District.

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